Modern young parents are very concerned about the cultivation of their children, especially after the 90s, the requirements for children are more demanding, in order to let the children be able to become talents in the future, can have a career, do not know that many times are used in the wrong way, resulting in the cultivation of children to deviate from their original trajectory.
01 Being too harsh on the child, the child finally chooses to fall
I have a friend who is a graduate student herself and her husband is a Doctor, so she had children after marriage, and she also had great hopes for her children, thinking that her children would definitely be very smart and would have a future appearance. Therefore, it is very harsh on children from childhood to adulthood, but the performance of children has always been mediocre.
After the child goes to junior high school, friends think that this is a key stage in the child's transition, so it is more strict for the child, not only to urge the child to learn 10 o'clock every day, but also to let go of the child's weekend time. In this extreme "urging" environment, the child did make a lot of progress at the beginning, from the initial year ranking of more than 100 into the top 100 of the year, which is already good in our local area, but friends are still not satisfied, it is still difficult to accept their children so mediocre, after all, they and their husbands are considered to be highly educated.
So I compress the child's sleep time, learn 11 o'clock at night, and take 20 minutes more time to study at noon, even on weekends, according to the usual class schedule. Every time I see their children, I feel that the children are very tired, but the friends are like they can't see them, and they say that the current children don't study hard, only the share of being eliminated, and don't look at how strong the competition is now.
By the time the child is in the third year of junior high school, the ranking has been able to stabilize in the top 30 of the year, and it is certainly no problem for us to enter the key high school. But people's hearts are always so dissatisfied, friends still keep putting pressure on their children, and have always emphasized the third year of junior high school, let alone the slightest slackening.
Suddenly one day, the child really can't stand it, doesn't want to go to school again, but the friend is angry, the first time to the child, and even said a lot of things that the child can't accept. Since that day, the child has indulged himself, chosen to be self-indulgent, and has become very rebellious and cannot be controlled. In the end, my friend couldn't think clearly, and he always thought that it was obviously for the good of the child, so why couldn't he understand? In the end, it became like this.
In fact, if you really want to cultivate excellent children, you can't achieve the effect by relying on such persecution and extreme harshness, but it will make children become more rebellious.
02 After 30 years, the children of the two families are the most prominent, and now they know that it is not too late, and they will cultivate and become talents early
The first is a family that loves its children in principle, in which children grow up to be able to clearly feel the love from their parents, which is powerful and principled, rather than coddling without principle. Children raised in this environment will also be more confident and more motivated, after all, love is the driving force of all actions.
Because they know that behind them there will be parental support, they are not afraid of failure, they have the courage to dare to fail. Many successful people have these characteristics, so although they have tried and failed, they can persevere and finally lead to victory.
And children who have not felt the love of their parents since childhood, or children who do not have parental support, they are relatively afraid of their hands and feet, and they do not dare to give it a go, they are more afraid of failure, so they have no courage, nor self-confidence, lack the most basic elements of success, and it is naturally more difficult to succeed.
The second is the family that gives the child the right to speak, and the children who grow up in such a family will have more ideas and are good at expressing their own ideas. In today's society, in fact, the most lacking is such talents. Because many people in the team prefer to be a little transparent, afraid of letting themselves express their opinions, but also afraid of being denied.
But because children who have been trained since childhood, because they are encouraged by their parents, they always have a lot of ideas, they will also express them in front of their parents, parents will also affirm or deny their children's ideas according to their own opinions, and then let the children think of ways, and the child's thinking ability and problem-solving ability are exercised in this process.
And some families are not like this, parents think that they are the authority in the family, do not allow children to express their opinions, do not respect the children's ideas, think that children are naïve, they can not provide substantive help, so never take the child's advice into account, and such children's habits are denied, and slowly dare not happen again, and grow up.
Conclusion: The cultivation of children depends on the guidance of parents, if it is not good to cultivate children now, children after 30 years will not have much achievement, parents will regret it at that time, it is useless, now know early to cultivate children, perhaps more harvest.