Toys, that's the children's favorite.
So no matter where you are, or with whom, even if you are a brother, the child grabs the toy without a soft hand!
Let the guests share out what everyone plays together, sorry, I don't understand! Even more reluctant!
Under such a scene, it is often embarrassing for old mothers who are keen to let their children share, which is really embarrassing!
"My baby just doesn't want to share toys, what should I do?"
1
Property rights consciousness
"Sharing" is the ability and excellent quality that everyone has admired since ancient times.
The opposite of sharing is "selfishness."
When children are unwilling to share, many parents will feel embarrassed and ashamed, and even directly acquiesce to "this is a selfish child." ”
Before defining a child, let's first understand why children are reluctant to share.
Because the child's property rights awareness and the child are in the sensitive period of property rights awareness.
Children's awareness of property rights is gradually formed and grown:
◆ 1 year old
The child does not yet have a sense of property rights, "My toys can be played with by anyone." ”
◆ 1-2 years old
Can distinguish between themselves and others, but do not understand "my" and "your", "think that everything is mine." ”
◆ 2-3 years old
The awareness of property rights begins to sprout, and the child enters a sensitive period of property rights awareness.
"My stuff, no one can touch."
Even when there are no children grabbing, they will say "this is mine" to the other party.
Even for the family, other children take a look, he will repeatedly tell each other "mine, mine".
This is a characteristic of the child's language.
At the same time, at this stage, the child will also be accompanied by aggressive behavior in terms of movements, and when other children are close, they will also use their hands or feet to attack each other.
The pushing and shoving caused by grabbing toys is normal.
◆ 3-4 years old
When the child's property rights are fully affirmed and protected, the child begins to be willing to exchange and share his belongings, "Mine can be shared with you." ”
Why don't children want to share? Benchmark ourselves.
How do you feel every time you are forced to share something? It may not be better than children, but we will hide.
Therefore, when the child is in the sensitive period of property rights awareness, he wants to force the child to share the toy, and believes that the child will be difficult to give the parents face.
2
Face the sensitive period of children's awareness of property rights
Avoid these behaviors
◆ Parents should not be too real
The sensitive period of property rights awareness generally lasts from 6 to 12 months.
At this stage, the primary attitude of parents is "not too real", and do not conflict with their children, force children to share, label children, etc.
Such behavior will make the child feel a sense of deprivation and aggression, affecting the establishment of the child's inner self-image.
Parents can protect their children's sense of material rights during the sensitive period, so that children can share more smoothly.
Parents should not hurt their children because of the pursuit of face, please respect the rhythm of children's growth.
◆ Please do not label your child as "selfish"
"How can you be so selfish!"
"What's wrong with playing for your sister for a while, why are you so ignorant?"
Such an attitude will make children blur the definition of property rights.
This is my thing, why do I have to share it with others? Can other people's things also let me play?
What parents should do is to help their children practice "property ownership", and confirm the relationship between "he and the object" by confirming the ownership of the object.
Parents should understand the child's behavior at this stage and not label it indiscriminately.
◆ Prohibition of "teasing children"
Children are in a sensitive period of strong sense of property rights, and adults must not tease children because they are fun.
Grab something from the child's hand, make him cry, and then shame the child "You are so stingy!" ”
Or when the child distributes his own things to us to eat, we must accept it, do not say "I am teasing you, I do not eat, you eat it", refuse the child's sharing, the child will definitely be disappointed.
Children can't enjoy the joy of sharing, and slowly they are reluctant to share.
3
How to help children
Passing through the sensitive period of property rights awareness?
Cultivate children's "sense of material rights and security"!
Respect the child's property rights, only the child can understand "my things are mine", can understand "other people's things are other people's".
● "My" stuff: Children have control and can choose to play with friends or not;
● "His" stuff: Others have the right not to play with you.
● Everyone's things: Things in public places belong to everyone and cannot be monopolized by one person.
The child is not willing to share, or the thing is robbed, and the parent must help the child to get back.
Let the child have a sense of property rights and security, and the child will have a sense of sharing.
And parents should lead by example, when using children's belongings, first of all, to obtain the child's consent, and to do both borrow and return.
Kong Rong let the pear is our "sharing virtue" handed down from ancient times to the present.
We also want our children to be little angels who are happy to share.
But parents must not forget that the most appropriate guidance in the right time period is the key.
Respecting a child's heart is more important than caring for his own face.
Forcing children to share is not the cultivation of virtue, it is deprivation.
Image/Video Source: Network/Baby Care Comics Group, Invasion and Deletion