Text/Mother Song said parenting (original article, welcome to reprint and share)
"Children rebel because of adolescence, and when they grow up, it's better."
I believe that many parents have heard such words. On the path of parenting, each age has different troubles.
After surviving the most painful and tiring infancy, children who enter school have added new troubles to their parents. From the data point of view, the most headache for parents is the problem of children's "filial piety".
Some children still regard themselves as "emperors", drinking five or six at home every day, and they are also disgusted with their parents.
In the face of such children, many parents have chosen to be patient. In their view, these are the troubles of adolescence, and it is natural to wait until the child is older.
But is this really the case? When you are a child, you "dislike" your parents' children, and when you grow up, you will be filial piety?
When you are a child, it is difficult to be filial piety when you grow up, and parents should not be blind in time
As the saying goes, "Three years old sees old". How our personality is, we can already see a rough idea when we are young. This is also the reason why parents should emphasize the cultivation of good habits in their children.
If parents turn a blind eye to their children's bad habits and just wait for their children to grow up and change their personality, they will inevitably "suffer big losses" in the future.
Bao Ma Xiao Li has such an experience. As an excellent people's teacher, her parenting experience has always been praised by people. Gradually, her children listened to more people's praise and became a little disrespectful.
Seeing the child's changes, Xiao Li did not take it seriously at first. She felt that the child was in adolescence, and it was normal to have some small emotions, as long as there was no big mistake.
But I never expected that it was Xiao Li's eyes that this "no big mistake" child made her face heavy in front of her parents.
It turned out that Xiao Li's children also attended the school where Xiao Li worked. One day Xiao Li went down to hold a parent-teacher meeting for the child, and the child's teacher reflected with Xiao Li that Xiao Li's children had recently spent a lot of money, had been inviting classmates to dinner, and even walked close to the in the outside school.
Xiao Li, who realized that something was wrong, waited for the parent-teacher meeting to end, and couldn't wait to pull the child in the corridor and began to interrogate.
I thought that the child would honestly confess in two sentences, but I did not expect that the child would throw his hand away, scold her in front of the student, and bluntly say that Xiao Li was not responsible and too selfish.
This made Xiao Li very sad. She couldn't help but start to wonder herself: Was her "doting" really wrong?
At the critical stage of children's growth, these "dislikes" show that parents must not be blind
I don't know how to be grateful
If filial piety is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, then gratitude must be the best catalyst for filial piety.
Only when the child realizes that the parents are not easy and is grateful for what the parents have done for themselves, the child will sincerely think about the parents and be a good child who understands things.
Children who do not understand gratitude and lack empathy will turn a blind eye to their parents' efforts, and even take it for granted, consuming their parents' love.
Selfish and unwilling to share
There is a saying of "food protection" in the animal kingdom, and this problem also exists in children.
When you are a child, parents may find that their children are "selfish", occupying common things, and are not willing to let parents contact. Even when eating, you have to occupy the table domineeringly and want to eat first.
The child is still young, such behavior may be unconscious, but when the child grows up, there are still such problems, parents should be careful.
If you have been selfish and unwilling to share your own things, such a child will not be willing to share everything he has with his parents, and when the child has the ability to be independent, what awaits parents may be rejected or even abandoned.
Too rebellious and does not listen to discipline
Most children, in the process of growing up, have a stage of "unconvinced" parental discipline, which is the role of adolescent hormones and a sign of children's self-awareness awakening.
In the face of children who do not understand themselves, some parents may resign themselves to resolving the contradictions and conflicts that erupt with tolerance and patience, which is actually a very uneconomical way.
When the child's emotions do not have a reasonable outlet, they will extend the momentary "dislike" into the inherent impression, once this impression is formed, then in the eyes of the child, the parents will be marked as "useless".
Write at the end
After experiencing the hardships of being pregnant in October, parents will not help but regard their children as treasures, hold them in the palm of their hands and be afraid to melt, thinking that if they give all their love to their children, their children will grow up healthy and happy.
It is important to understand that there are many ways to love. In the child's formative years, sometimes harshness and rejection are also a kind of love. Blindly indulging children is likely to make them go to the other extreme.