What causes the breakdown of a marriage
The Institute of Social Psychologists has shown that in their survey, those who had at least one chance to be alone with their partner were 3-5 times more likely to have a happy marriage than couples who did not meet this requirement.
By investing in each other, partners put their interest and energy on the relationship between the two people, investing in representatives, and how to value each other. If the other person is less committed, the less important the other person is.
If there is a lack of input, there is no deep care.
If you want to keep your marriage happy, you need to invest a certain amount of time and energy in the other person and in the relationship to make both parties feel satisfied emotionally, spiritually, materially, and so on.
My friend Xiaoying told me that after six years of marriage, her marriage with her husband eventually went wrong. Xiaoying and her husband fell in love for three years before entering the palace of marriage together.
After a year of marriage, the two had a son, Xiaoying no longer went out to work, became a housewife, at home to teach her son, the husband worked hard, soon after opening a construction company, after several years of operation, it is also considered to be the beginning of the scale, on weekdays, Xiaoying's happiest thing is to take care of the children and husband's diet and living, every morning to their grandfather to prepare breakfast, at night to bring their son back, prepare their grandfather's dinner, such a plain and simple life, is Xiao Ying likes and enjoys.
However, this kind of life slowly becomes less so easy to achieve as the husband's business becomes larger and larger.
The husband often travels outside for business, sometimes accompanies customers to drink, eats until late at night, and is dragged home by the company employees every time with a drunken body. At first, the company's socializing was only to eat and drink, and occasionally sing, but slowly Xiaoying found that the place where her husband came and went was getting more and more fancy. Often to accompany customers as an excuse to go in and out of some wind and flower places, at first it was only late, even if it was two or three o'clock at night to go home to sleep, and slowly began to stay at night. Xiaoying can understand the hardships of her husband's work, and she can also understand that they may be exposed to a lot of social interactions that are difficult to push off. But Xiaoying is still a woman after all, a wife, she really can't stand her husband's abnormal contact with other women outside,
Xiao Ying and her husband quarreled many times over the issue of external socializing, and in Xiao Ying's memory, they were married for four or five years, and in the ten years of knowing each other, they basically did not argue over anything. But the disagreement on this issue is particularly large. Xiao Ying always thinks that her husband is doing this, sorry for himself, sorry for his children, and even more sorry for their family, and her husband always feels that Xiao Ying is making unreasonable trouble, in his concept, that is his job, is his means of making money. He was a man who was responsible not only for the family but also for the company. In their disagreements, they constantly quarrel, and because of the constant quarrels, they become less and less emotionally communicative with each other. Xiaoying began to understand her husband's work more and more, and felt that her husband was becoming more and more disgusted. In the end, the husband often preferred to sleep on the floor in the company rather than come home to face her. Even when returning home, there is less and less talk between two people, and communication is generally limited to eating to pick up the children, and there is no other communication.
Xiao Ying was very frightened in her heart, feeling that her husband was becoming more and more strange, and she did not know how long such a marriage could last.
There is a view in intimate relationships that the longer you are married, the lower the feeling of happiness between husband and wife, and it will become stable after entering the old age.
Why does happiness decline over time? Because both husband and wife no longer invest energy and enthusiasm in the original love, no matter how hot the love, the baptism of years will become tasteless.
When men and women first met, they were often willing to spend more time and feelings to communicate with each other, when love was indeed constantly invested, the two lonely hearts cultivated finally met, both eager to give their past to each other, eager to stick together every day to see the snow, look at the stars and see the moon. From poetry and song to the philosophy of life, I think that I am a pair of wall people made in heaven and earth, as if in a transparent soap bubble, but even the beautiful soap bubble will eventually settle down to the day of disillusionment.
When he crashed into the pots and pans in the marriage, chai rice oil and salt suddenly fell into the two people in real life, and it was inevitable that he would lose his face.
And the beautiful marriage is that the two try their best to continue this investment.
No one is set in stone, and the two people in the marriage are constantly growing.
In marriage can maintain a long-term good relationship, we need to pay a lot, need to invest a lot of time and energy in each other, marriage needs to be managed with heart, so how do we manage marriage?
The first to strive to learn the expression of love
In an intimate relationship, your love should be expressed, because without the expression of love, the other party naturally cannot feel your love.
There are many ways to express love, such as words of affirmation, elaborate gifts, acts of service, physical contact, etc.
You can choose one of these ways to express your love to your partner.
The second is to cultivate a sense of trust between each other
The lack of trust between two people in an intimate relationship is the primary cause of relationship problems, and if you want to maintain a relatively good intimate relationship, then you need to pay enough attention to the trust between each other. In order to be able to have a trusting relationship with your loved one, you can make an effort to remain loyal, share more information with the other person, always respect the other person, and so on.
The third seeks a balance of shared space and personal space
If you want to maintain intimacy in a good state, then you need to maintain a balance between common space and personal space.
In order to be able to achieve this balance, you can change the wrong perception, flow to each other's complaints, and communicate each other's boundaries.
The fourth is to set common goals for life
If two people don't have a common goal, then there will be more differences and conflicts between each other, and these differences and conflicts will eventually let the intimate relationship wear away. Try to learn a skill together, share your expectations for the future, and build a common goal for each other.
The fifth keeps living above the sense of ritual
When in love, it seems to be useful and endless blood, it seems to be useful and endless careful thinking, but entering the married life is flat, slowly getting used to commuting to work, getting used to being with each other, but less hugging and kissing, the sense of ceremony needs to spend a lot of thought, but it does not have to cost a lot of money, make an agreement with each other. If there is a quarrel, the husband will hug his wife and hold hands with you on the anniversary to watch a movie. Go to the place where we first dated and take a walk and so on
Since we are united because of love, then we have the responsibility to guard this love and let him exist for a long time.
In the long years, we will always be easily consumed by those trivial things, patience and enthusiasm, accustomed to each other's efforts, and forget the promises made by hand when we set out.
Love needs to be adhered to with the heart, and marriage needs to be managed with the heart