Learn emotional management: When you can mobilize your emotions, you have the ability to mobilize everything
Sentence/Still Moon
Guide:
In the recent hit TV series "Circuit Prosecutor Group", because of Feng Sen played by Hewei, his son Zheng Rui Police Officer, because his mother was plotted by the evil people 10 years ago, was brutally killed, and the murderer has not been found, which makes him resentful of his father Feng Sen, who is the leader of the circuit inspection team.
When the truth is getting closer and closer, when Officer Zheng Rui suddenly interrogates the criminal suspect Mi Moudong, Mi deliberately uses language to stimulate and provoke Officer Zheng, claiming: "I am the murderer of your mother, kill me." ”
For a time, Zheng Rui, as the champion of Sanda, was out of control of his emotions and had the possibility of making a big fight. At this time, his father Feng Sen arrived in time and shouted to Zheng Rui inside: "Son, you must be calm, you must not move." ”
Finally, Zheng Rui finally suppressed the anger in his chest and controlled the emotions that were about to get out of control. Just imagine, if Officer Zheng did something to the criminal suspect, the consequences really dare not think.
Fortunately, reason finally defeated the impulse, the out-of-control emotions finally returned to rationality, and Zheng Rui finally did not do anything that made him regret it for the rest of his life because of the impulse.
Stills of "Circuit Inspection Team" By Feng Sen
In fact, everyone does not live in a vacuum. People face all kinds of emergencies every day, when encountering others who intentionally want to provoke you, with aggression, sarcasm, and even sarcastic language to ignite your anger, if you are recruited, the emotions are ignited instantly, then you will be hit by the other party's plan, any of your irrational behavior, will make you pay at a greater cost, and even take the second half of your life.
01. Emotional people will eventually become the killers of their own happy lives
Daniel Gorman said: "Success is a process of self-actualization. If you control your emotions, you control your life; if you know yourself, you are half successful. ”
In reality, many people like to use "temperamental people" to make excuses for their out-of-control emotions, and when they should be rational to control their emotions, let irrational emotions prevail, and let the situation that could have been "winning" reverse, and then let their lives go astray.
For example, former national swimming champion Sun Yang, due to the "doping" incident, could not control his emotions and clashed with the staff, which in turn affected his sports career.
If Sun Yang knows that he is innocent when others suspect that he is using stimulants, he should actively cooperate and let the results return to his innocence, and there will be no conflict with the testing staff.
At that time, Sun Yang was very resistant, and his excessive behavior affected the normal test work and made him lose the opportunity to return his innocence, so the Olympic Organizing Committee decided to suspend him for 4 years. Sun Yang's sports career has also changed because of his irrational behavior.
Looking at the people around us, you will find that some people, although their material lives are not rich, they seem to be happy and satisfied, and their lives are full of laughter and friendship; while some people, although they have no worries about food and clothing and have a rich life, complain about the unfairness of fate every day and tell people about their unhappiness everywhere.
There is actually a problem of emotional intelligence here, the so-called emotional intelligence: it is an ability to understand and control the emotions of oneself and others. A person with high emotional intelligence is not only able to control his own emotions well, but also has the ability to dissolve the negative emotions of others.
"Emotional intelligence is different from IQ, it's not innate, it's an ability that can only be acquired through acquired learning," Gorman points out. ”
02. Learning to control your emotions is learning to control your life
In the book "Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class", the author pointed out that the ability of emotional intelligence can be summarized as follows:
1. Understand your own ability: in the event of an emergency, emotional loss of control, can immediately perceive the change of their emotions, understand the causes of their emotions;
2. The ability to control your emotions: When bad emotions are about to occur, you can learn to soothe yourself, get rid of strong anxiety, worry and worry, and gain insight into the root of emotions;
3. Ability to motivate yourself: be able to learn to adjust negative emotions, make yourself work towards certain goals, and enhance attention and creativity;
4. The ability to understand the emotions of others: understand the changes in others' emotions, perceive the real needs of others, have compassion, and can empathize with the pain of others;
5. The ability to maintain harmonious interpersonal relationships: People interact with each other, only by truly understanding each other's mood and emotional changes can the other party be willing to speak out of their hearts, and can they understand and accept each other's emotions.
Psychologists believe that the ability to control emotions is the driving force of a person's life, and it can make our IQ have a greater effect. It can also be said that emotional intelligence is an important factor affecting a person's health, emotions, human life and failure, and interpersonal relationships.
Morris said: "We often let ourselves be very upset by small things, small things that should not be taken care of and should be forgotten soon... We have only lived in this world for a few short decades, and we waste a lot of time worrying about small things that will be forgotten in a day. Don't do that, don't worry about those little things anymore. ”
In reality, some people are excited because they won the 5 million lottery ticket, and their blood pressure rises on the spot and they are admitted to the hospital; some people are also because they quarrel with others, they can't calm the anger in their hearts for a while, and there is a tragedy of negligence and hurt, sa people, and finally they can only slowly repent of their irrational behavior in Jianyu.
Learning to control emotions is a very important lesson for a person. Only by practicing more can we suppress the suddenly rising anger at the critical moment, calm the emotions of inner excitement and baolie, and let reason return to yourself.
03. An emotional person will eventually become the killer of his own happiness
In the Oxford Dictionary, the word "emotion" is explained as follows: "An emotion is an agitation or commotion of the mind, feelings, emotions, and refers to any state of mind that is agitated or excited." ”
Just like Huang Lilin in the TV series "Ideal City", because he did not like his nephew Xia Ming to be with Su Xiao, he used language to provoke the other party and wanted Su Xiao to quit. But in fact, it was his nephew Xia Ming who was reluctant to let go. Finally, Huang Lilin, who was out of control, suddenly increased his blood pressure and fell to the ground after a stroke on the spot.
Later, due to the timely rescue, Huang Lilin saved his life, but he stayed in the hospital for more than half a year before slowly recovering. Afterwards, Huang Lilin knew that his emotions at that time were out of control and would definitely regret it. If it were not for Su Xiao taking emergency measures in time and dialing 120 to send him to the hospital, his ming would have been finished.
It is undeniable that each of us will face all kinds of people every day, and we will also face various emergencies. Especially when encountering people who are related to their own interests, people will become impulsive, or even lose their minds, and then make wrong judgments and wrong behaviors. It can be said that it is washed away by interests. Therefore, impulse is the devil, and a mistake becomes a thousand years of hatred.
However, many times, people's emotions are changing rapidly, one moment is still full of spring breeze, and the next moment may be angry. All of this, or because of the changes in the surrounding environment and scene, or a word, an action, or a look on the other side, will make people feel despised, indifferent, and hurt, just like chemical reagents poured into the reactor, and the inner feelings suddenly change dramatically.
If a person cannot control his irritable temper and cannot debug his inner anger and dissatisfaction, it is easy to be provoked by the other party, so that he can make the wrong behavior of the relatives and enemies, and even cause irreparable losses.
Some people say that an emotional person will eventually become the killer of his own happiness.
Just like in the TV series "Don't Talk to Strangers", Anjia and his wife who originally had a decent job and were gentle and beautiful, but he was always full of fear and worry in his heart, and he had a deep sense of insecurity about his wife. Once he found his wife talking to a strange man, he could not control his emotions.
Anjiahe, who is out of control, can't help but punch his wife. At that moment, reason completely left him. He was like a fafeng beast, just trying to vent his anger.
Anjia and his out-of-control emotions not only ruined his marriage and his own family, but he also ended up being punished as he deserved.
04. Learning to control emotions is a compulsory course for self-growth
In reality, what are the characteristics of an emotional person? When we know, we may be able to consciously control and adjust it.
In the book "Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class", the author points out that human behavior should be a purposeful, planned, and conscious external activity. One of the characteristics that distinguishes man from other animals is that his behavior is controlled by reason.
An important feature of emotional behavior is that not only "follow the feeling", but also "follow the emotion".
So, how do you get rid of the effects of emotional behavior on yourself?
First, reduce the impulsivity of behavior. Human behavior should be controlled by willpower and controlled by the dynamic regulation of consciousness.
If a person is like a cannonball, and is held by others, then he does not have the ability to control emotions at all. For example, when you encounter a little unpleasant thing, or are misunderstood by others and hurt by others, you will immediately jump out, regardless of whether you fight back without hesitation, without considering the consequences. This impulsive behavior is not only devastating, but also puts oneself in a passive situation of no return.
The second is to control the sensitivity of emotions to changes in the situation. Reduce the stimulation of personal interest-related events and avoid irrational behavior.
That is, learn to control yourself: when the stimulus that satisfies your needs appears, you will appear very happy; and once you find that it cannot be achieved, you will change from disappointment to angry emotional behavior.
Again, learn to control your desires. People's emotional behavior is often due to the loss and dissatisfaction caused by their own desires cannot be satisfied.
Only by controlling the unrealistic fantasies and desires in the heart can we enhance the inner satisfaction and reduce the impact of negative emotions on ourselves.
Moreover, we should learn to correctly understand and analyze the various contradictions that exist in society, learn to observe problems comprehensively, look at the mainstream and look at the positive side, so that we can discover the meaning and value of survival, and then enhance our confidence and courage in facing difficulties and overcoming difficulties.
Finally, learn to properly release and vent your negative emotions. Generally speaking, when a person is at a low point in life, they are susceptible to the influence and interference of negative emotions and lose confidence in the future. Only by adjusting the mentality in time and facing the reality correctly can we keep ourselves a normal heart and move towards the goal in our hearts.
In fact, when we realize that we are being plagued by negative emotions, we must find a way to get out of the emotional dilemma in time, let confidence and courage return, and let a positive outlook on life once again dominate our lives.
When you do, you'll find that confidence and happiness come back to you. You are no longer swayed by emotions, but become the master of your own emotions.
Learning to control your emotions will make you feel a different life, because when you can mobilize your emotions, you have the ability to mobilize everything.