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Pick up the child and go to the supermarket after school and see this scene:
The two little boys saw the strange eggs in the supermarket at the same time, and one of the little boys picked up a strange egg and walked to the front desk cash register.
Another little boy saw the situation, couldn't help but pick up a strange egg himself, quickly ran to his mother, and said to his mother, "Mom, I also want to buy a strange egg."
"You have bought a lot of big and small fun eggs at home, there is no need to buy this, put it back, your mother picks you other fun ones," the little boy's mother replied.
Under the strong suppression of his mother, the little boy reluctantly put the strange egg back, and the expression on his face was written with a few big words "unhappy".
This situation is very common in life, children are always tired of all kinds of toys, the same toy children can always buy will not feel bored, see other children buy toys, they will not help but want.
Faced with such a situation, what would you do?
If conditions permit, the child's reasonable needs should be met by parents
There is an old saying that "poor sons raise rich daughters", parents raise their sons in the hope that in the way of poor support, their sons can experience the difficulties of life and establish the quality of perseverance.
For girls, parents hope to be rich, and feel that the girls who are rich have seen the world and will not be easily tempted by some small profits in the future.
In fact, I would like to say that whether it is a boy or a girl, as long as the family conditions permit, they still try to meet the reasonable needs of the child.
There are two requirements:
The first condition: the child's needs are reasonable.
If the child's needs are legitimate and reasonable, and are put forward to meet certain purposes, then the parents have the obligation to meet the child.
For example, children have recently been particularly obsessed with painting, and when they pass by the store, they see a box of colored pens and want to buy it.
At this time, parents should be able to understand the child's desired mood, and see the child's willingness to paint as an opportunity for the child's growth, and parents should support the child with practical actions.
Therefore, parents must support the child's purchase of color pens, and it is best to accompany a certain amount of verbal encouragement, so that children understand that parents are very supportive of their reasonable needs.
The second condition: family conditions should be allowed.
I have seen reports like this before, in order to satisfy their vain "rich" life, college students force their parents who are not rich to give themselves thousands of yuan of living expenses every month.
Children are free outside, but they don't know that their parents are struggling in the mud.
To meet the needs of children, we must adhere to the bottom line, set up a bottom line education for children, and let children experience the difficulties of life from an early age.
Parents can involve their children in the family expense plan, so that the child has a clear understanding of the family's financial expenditure status, and the child knows how to self-discipline.
The unreasonable needs of children, parents should learn to guide
Due to age constraints, children are often impulsive in their thinking, and they are unable to make the best control over their thoughts.
Just like the little boy above, when he sees the kid next to him buy a funny egg, his brain will suddenly have a concept of "I want it too", and it no longer matters whether there are already many of the same funny eggs in the family.
So, in the face of their children's unreasonable needs, what should parents do?
First of all, be able to empathize with the child and understand the child's current feelings
The child is a linear thinking mode, and when he says that he wants something, it proves that he really wants to have it.
The first thing parents should do at this time is empathy and fully understand the child's desires and feelings at the moment.
"Mom knows you saw other kids buy funny eggs, and you want them too, right?"
"Yes, Mom, I want a fun egg too"
"Mom thinks this funny egg looks really cute, and Mom can fully understand how you feel right now."
When the mother says the above words emotionally, the child knows that his urgent mood can be understood and tolerated by the mother, and the child naturally chooses to believe the mother's words.
Second, give your child the right and the opportunity to make choices
Children, like adults, crave the right to dominate themselves, which is a very important thing for children.
When parents find their children's unreasonable needs, they should not blindly reprimand and yell, because this will only make things worse.
Instead, parents should be able to use skills to give their children the right and opportunity to make choices, so that children feel that they have rights.
"This funny egg is really cute, and we seem to have 2 identical ones in our house." Now that your mother has more important tasks entrusted to you, do you think you should first help your mother pick delicious fruits or buy some vegetables first? ”
"Yes, Mom, we have a funny egg in our house, but the little boy bought one!"
"Yes, Mother saw, maybe the little boy's house does not have interesting eggs, he is the first one to buy it, but you already have several in your house." Your mother has just given you the task, do you think you should first help your mother pick delicious fruits or buy some vegetables first? ”
"I want to buy fruit, I like to eat oranges, Mom"
"Okay, let's go together"
When children put forward unreasonable needs, parents cannot suppress and stop at will, but through reasonable empathy and guidance, children can get more choices.
Through this form, children can slowly calm their impulsive emotions and learn how to do more meaningful things in the present moment under the guidance of their parents.
Every child will have unreasonable needs of the moment, this is an immutable thing, parents should be able to learn more ways to guide their children, so that children slowly become more learn to think rationally!
I am Qiyue Mom, a mother of a three-year-old child, and I hope that some of my parenting experiences can be conveyed to you through the platform to provide a little help for your parenting road! You can follow me to learn and grow together!
I am @Seven Joy Mom, follow me and I talk about parenting easily together!
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