Parents get together to chat, and the center must be around the child, which is the common sentiment of people. In this way, parents will learn more skills in educating their children and urge them to become better.
In the chat of parents, the phrase "no opinion" is often heard. Today's children, they seem to have such a problem, when they encounter things without opinion and ideas, either go with the flow, or rely on their parents, never take the initiative to find opportunities or ways to solve.
It can be said that most children have such a problem. There may be parents who will make excuses for them, feeling that the child is temporarily young, psychologically and physically immature, and will have no opinion. If they grow up, they will naturally become responsible and idealistic people.
Parents are right to expect from their children, but they also need to be realistic. If the child maintains a non-opinionated attitude for a long time, then his thoughts will never be independent, and so will his behavior. In other words, children without opinion will never grow up. Even as an adult, he needs the care of his parents and cannot be left alone.
Why does the child have no opinion?
1. Like to do everything
All children who have no opinion, they have parents behind them who love themselves. The phrase "young age" has become a reason for parents to love their children excessively, and all things are taken care of and replaced. From childhood to adulthood, in addition to going to the toilet, I need to complete it myself, and maybe my parents will help with other things.
Too much interference leads to the child's development of a mentality that does not have to think, but only needs to obey. When encountering things, the child will be overwhelmed, because he has not experienced it before, does not know how to start, and can only be forced to follow the ideas of others, or wait for the parents to rescue.
2, like to deny
Doing things that hurt and restrict them in the name of "being good for their children" is the true state of most parents. I always feel that children have no opinion, but they have not thought that they have also had ideas, and they have expressed them countless times, but they have been denied by their parents.
Perhaps it is the number of denials, the child feels that it is better not to have an idea, anyway, say that nothing is right, do nothing, then obey and do. The child has no self-confidence to express his thoughts, and the denial of his parents makes him have serious self-doubt.
These two ways of "love" are a bit heavy, thinking that it is to protect children, and as a result, they hurt them, and I believe that parents do not want to do so. Remember: there is a kind of love called "letting go", which is the best education for children. Only by letting go can children have the opportunity to try, even if they are scarred after falling, it is better than not having independent thinking and practical experience.
How do you raise a child with an opinion?
1. Reduce the requirements
The ideal child of the parents must be a person who is good enough to shine, and such a dream is somewhat unrealistic. From now on, reduce the requirements for children, naturally will not pay too much attention to their lives. Parents' ideas are good, but for children, they will only be "perverted control".
"Obedience" is not the only measure for children, and their repeated compromises will become mediocre in future societies. Only when parents change from the heart and learn to really let go, can the child's nature not be oppressed, and slowly restore the original self-judgment and thought.
2. Express yourself
Smart parents, they will worry about their children's future, but will respect their children's wishes. In life, we should encourage children to express themselves, even if the ideas they say are somewhat imaginative, they are worth affirming. Because the moment you say it, it shows that the child is trying to surpass himself, and all the parents have to do is listen carefully.
As a family member, the child is allowed to participate in family decisions, no matter how big or small, he has the right to express his opinion. Even if there are different ideas, parents should calmly discuss them, rather than directly rejecting them. Parents will find that when their children express their thoughts, their brains are already thinking continuously.
3. Learn to let go
The future is very long, and the love bound by parents will become a shackle, and it will always firmly control the child's thoughts and behaviors. So from now on, turn love into letting go and give all the rights back to the child. Do not make decisions for them easily, unless the child really encounters difficulties and seeks the help of the parents, and this is also the time to give advice and guidance in the way of the elderly.
Encourage children to try new things and accumulate experience in failure; allow them to do what they like, even if they don't succeed in the end. Because experience is the most important thing, it will lay a good foundation for children's future lives.
You know, life is the child's own work, and they need to explore and complete it alone. If the parents are forced to fill in the colors, then all the children, will not become the same picture album? Don't let constraints and demands limit your child's growth, they have a lot of possibilities, just lack opportunities.