Introduction: My friend's daughter Tong Tong and my brother are classmates, so we have more common topics, and from time to time we will communicate with each other and talk about the children's learning and life.
My brother said two days ago that he was going to participate in a poetry reading competition, and asked me to prepare a few manuscripts with him. I asked my friend, "Did Tong Tong participate in this competition?" ”
The friend was dazed and said that he did not know about this activity.
Later, after chatting with friends, tong tong rarely participated in various activities organized by the school, and even did not participate in last month's "little dancer" activities. I know that this child has been learning dance since he was a child, and I wonder why I didn't even participate in this activity.
A friend said: "Tong Tong really rarely participates in these activities, you said this dancer activity, I asked her why she did not participate, she said there are only a few places, but the teacher did not choose her." ”
Tong Tong is a well-behaved and sensible child, even if she is approaching the rebellious period of youth, she is also very worry-free. But Tong Tong's academic performance is medium, and my friends are not in a hurry, and they feel that they do not have to be forced to learn. And the child is obedient, never makes trouble at school, almost on the line.
I sometimes wonder: Is the Buddhist mentality of parents really good for children?
01, "well-behaved" children have no sense of existence
"Almost." This is a phrase that friends often put on their lips. On the issue of children's education, the two of them are not hurried or slow, and they feel that although Tong Tong is not top-notch, it is not at the bottom, and it can be accepted without slipping.
Perhaps because the child's well-behaved understanding masks the fact that her academic performance is medium, or perhaps because the child is obedient, so even if the academic performance is average, the parents can accept it.
When I went to my brother's poetry recitation competition, I ran into Tong Tong outside the classroom and I said, "Do you want to participate in this kind of activity?" Tong Tong said a little embarrassed: "I will participate in general group activities, but this kind of individual competition is rare." ”
After chatting with the teacher after the game, I asked about Tong Tong in passing, and the teacher was stunned at first, and then said: "It is an obedient child." ”
Even his brother said: "Tong Tong is too well-behaved in our class, neither troublemaker nor active, the teacher does not know that she dances very well, so the dancer's activities did not choose her." ”
In the era when we were in school, we all thought that teachers liked well-behaved children, and that individual children who were outstanding were the backbone of literature and art. But now there are more and more recreational activities in the school, and the children's strengths are also diverse, so the teacher's understanding of the students is not limited to academic performance.
Teachers are prone to ignore children with medium academic performance, coupled with well-behaved and obedient, rarely show themselves, and basically have no sense of existence in the class.
In other words, the well-behaved children who do not slip in the middle suffer the most.
02, children need a sense of achievement and honor
From the moment a child enters kindergarten, they begin their own "social life". We must learn to communicate with people, try to be independent, find ourselves step by step, and get along with the world.
In the process of children's growth, to achieve self-realization, it is important to find a sense of positioning is to gain a sense of achievement and honor.
I remember when my brother was in kindergarten, one day he suddenly asked me: "Mom, why do all people like the first place?" ”
I was surprised by this question, because in our minds, my brother has always been a child who does not argue and does not like to be compared with others. He asks this because the word "first" always appears in kindergartens, and the teacher will give praise and rewards to the children who get the first.
The biggest secret of education: let children feel a sense of accomplishment.
My brother began to care about the first place because he began to want to be recognized, to be affirmed by the teacher for his excellence, and to enjoy the satisfaction and honor of being praised.
From kindergarten onwards, children have psychological needs to be satisfied. As we age, this demand becomes more and more intense. And under the guidance of this demand, he will ask for progress, will want to do better.
And the child who has been obscure, seemingly desireless and desireless, but in fact, his heart is still longing. There is no one who does not envy the person standing on the podium, and no one does not want to be better.
Just like tong tong's situation, she learned to dance from a young age, but when it came to the time when she could really show herself, because of her usual "obedience", the teacher did not understand her at all and could not get the opportunity to perform.
It is good that children are obedient and well-behaved, but today is different from the past, and the truth that wine is not afraid of the depth of the alley has become unbreakable. If you want to have a presence in school and let the teacher remember you, you must have the courage to show yourself.
03, to be a "love to head" child
Friends said that Tongtong's learning ability is very clear, and he really does not want to force the child too tightly, and he can study hard. I also agree with this, but the child's academic performance is average, does not mean that everything must be average. A well-behaved child does not mean that you can only be obscure and miss the opportunity to show yourself.
Children with excellent academic performance, teachers will naturally pay attention. The mischievous children in the class are also the object of the teacher's key discipline. For middle school students who complete their homework in a timely manner and never make trouble, it can be said that the teacher is the most reassuring group.
It is precisely because I am at ease that I often cannot remember. When the school needs to organize some extracurricular activities, the teacher can always think of the activists. Today's children are basically versatile, dancing, singing, painting and painting instruments are all hands-on, not afraid of the stage, the teacher is also more and more comfortable.
Therefore, I want the teacher to remember and remember myself for the first time, and I want to try to be a "love out" child. Actively show yourself and let the teachers and classmates know what you are good at.
Brush up on presence in school:
First, it can alleviate the child's learning pressure and find itself in recreational activities;
Second, in the process of self-expression, exercise language expression ability and gain new knowledge;
Third, you can meet more small partners with the same interests and hobbies and harvest friendships;
Fourth, it can stimulate the motivation to learn and have a heart that is constantly improving.
Therefore, it is not that the child is not excellent, not that "the teacher did not choose me", but because it is too "well-behaved", so that there is no sense of existence, so that everyone cannot remember. Therefore, in order for the child to grow better, Buddhist parents should push or push the child to help him go forward.
epilogue:
There are many students in the class, and the teacher cannot understand the children's interests and strengths one by one after teaching. If you want to be seen, you still want your child to take the initiative to show it. Children who are good at expressing themselves will also better adapt to society and find themselves in the future.
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