For children, aggression equates to a kind of vitality and motivation.
Parents who want their children to be independent and creative, you can take a serious look at the following content.
First of all, it needs to be emphasized that aggression is not the same as hitting people, it is only part of it.
Aggression refers to a confrontational behavior, such as disobedience, two-year-olds saying no, no, no, no, crying, getting angry, these are all aggressive behaviors.
If you want your child to turn aggression into a creative force, you need a nurturer to provide a good environmental support for your child.
First, parents are more tolerant of aggression towards children
He can accept his partial aggression, can moderately meet the child's spontaneous and autonomous requirements, for example, at the age of two, he is not no, you will not suppress, you try to meet him throwing things, pressing switches, even if the child does a mess, causing a lot of trouble, you will try to satisfy him.
Second, cultivate children's verbal expression ability
Language is a unique human ability, and it is a major advance in translating the aggression of behavior into the ability to express words. If your child is particularly quarrelsome, he is not very good at hitting people, if the child is angry and says, I want to beat my mother to death, my mother should not be sad, hate can be freely expressed, love will be deeper.
Third, slowly cultivate the child's symbolic attack
It is the child who transforms the power of this attack into a force that wants to defeat others in some way. Defeating a person in terms of social status or personal value is actually equivalent to a symbolic attack.
Conversely, there are three kinds of bad environments:
First, the nurturer completely ignores the aggression shown by the child, no matter how the child makes trouble and how noisy, he does not bother to pay attention to him;
Second, punish or retaliate, if you dare to attack me, I will return it, and if you hit me, I will hit you;
Third, show powerlessness, you actually hit me like this, my mother is sad to die, I am so miserable, that is, all kinds of suppressed children This aggressive release.
A bad environment can lead to two situations:
First, excessive obedience.
Obedience brings to the individual a sense of uselessness, accompanied by the idea that nothing is important and that life is meaningless. Creativity is a healthy state, and obedience is actually a pathology for life.
2. Destructive anti-social attacks.
Excessive suppression, let the child's aggression have nowhere to release, a long-term backlog, may cause a very destructive release, such as Yao Jiaxin and Wu Xieyu, their previous original family, parents are very strict requirements, absolutely can not violate any of the regulations.
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