"I am a butterfly, love should be my whole life, but I only have a blank space on this." 」 - Su Xuelin
Flowers always open and fall inadvertently, the bright moon is always inadvertently missing circles, and the seasons are always quietly changing in people's minds. In the process of contributing love and loving the world to the world, people also eagerly desire love and hope to be loved. Year after year, time slips away, the "ticking" of the clock is still in the ear, and time has passed in a hurry.
Unconsciously, several degrees of Liu Ye flew around, several degrees of flowers fell into mud, time passed away, only the fragrance of the land was left, and the regret of smelling was imitated.
When life is almost complete: successful in career, admired for people, it seems that there is no excessive pursuit. But even though this successful female scholar has been so happy and less nourished by love, she has always left an unspeakable regret in this life. This kind of regret should start from Su Xuelin's marriage in name only.
Daughters should be self-reliant
On March 26, 1897, Su Xuelin was born into a feudal family in Cheng Ya Men, Ruian County, Zhejiang Province. The family's affairs were governed by a highly respected grandmother, and Su Xuelin's grandmother was the same old-time woman whose feudal ideas were already ingrained in her mind.
She wrapped her feet all her life, only knew how to teach her husband and children, and took the unfair norms of feudal society for women as her standard for treating her grandsons in the family, although the childhood Su Xuelin was very ice and snow smart, she also had a great enthusiasm for homework, but her grandmother thought that "a woman's talentlessness is morality", and did not allow Su Xuelin to enter the academy, and even her brothers' study did not allow her to come near.
Although she is a daughter, Su Xuelin has a great passion for learning, she is curious about the content of her brothers' homework, and often listens to the feet when they are in class, so she also secretly learns one or two. Seeing Su Xuelin's innate love for learning, my grandfather was greatly relieved, and when Su Xuelin was seven years old, he made an exception and took her to a private school to study. Although it is called "accompanying reading", most of the teaching focus of the masters is on the boys, and Su Xuelin cannot ask for advice when he encounters a half-understood interpretation of the text, and can only swallow the dates.
The good times are not long, the life of accompanying students did not last for two years, the brothers left the private school to go to the middle school, Su Xuelin once again lost the opportunity to learn, but she was diligent, often looking for her brothers to borrow some popular novels as their own reading books, and self-study research content, just like this, soon she finished reading "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", "Journey to the West" and other literary masterpieces, as the brothers continued to study, Su Xuelin could contact the reading materials more and more obscure, but she was happy in it.
In 1914, under the persuasion of an open-minded friend of his father, his father sent Su Xuelin to a local Christian primary school to study, and Su Xuelin imitated and wrote ancient poems. Soon, Anqing Provincial Junior Girls' Normal School enrolled, under the soft and hard bubble of Su Xuelin, the family agreed to let her register. During junior high school, she was versatile and attracted a lot of attention. In 1919, she began to teach at her alma mater, and it was out of the desire for more knowledge that she made a request to continue her education, and it was at this time that obstruction occurred.
Marriage shackles
When Su Xuelin again asked her grandmother to go to school, she was strongly opposed by the elders in the family. In fact, before Su Xuelin proposed to go to junior high school, the obstruction was very strong, the grandmother was furious, once put her under house arrest, thinking that su Xuelin, who had no hope of seeking knowledge, was once mentally weak, all day long, and even had suicidal thoughts.
Su Xuelin's mother saw that her daughter was lost and depressed, and she couldn't bear it, so she secretly took her to take the exam in order to successfully enroll. This request was even more wildly opposed by her grandmother, who prevented her from continuing her education on the grounds of marriage. At this moment, a sudden serious illness made Su Xuelin dying, because of this serious illness, Su Xuelin escaped marriage, and after the illness was cured, he continued to study as he wished.
In 1921, Su Xuelin went to France to study, in order to travel smoothly, Su Xuelin went abroad when he told his mother the news, she was successfully admitted to the overseas Chinese law school, studying Western literature. The three years of study in France were not satisfactory, and the family repeatedly asked Su Xuelin to return to China on the grounds of his parents' health, and in desperation, Su Xuelin had to return to China to get married.
At that time, the husband who was arranged for Su Xuelin in the family was Zhang Baoling, the son of a hardware merchant, and although Zhang Baoling was quite knowledgeable, he had also stayed in the United States, and it was reasonable to say that if it were not for this marriage, he and Su Xuelin would also have a common topic. But before getting married, the two had never even met, only a simple exchange of letters, blunt words, and no half warmth to speak of, in desperation, Su Xuelin and Zhang Baoling married.
At first, Zhang Baoling and Su Xuelin's life was quite harmonious, in order to take care of Su Xuelin in a different place, Zhang Baoling even gave up a high-paying job, condescended to become a professor, and even communicated with her in dialect in order to alleviate her miss of her hometown.
Although the initial days were very happy, but the good times were not long, with the passage of time, the contradictions gradually appeared: Su Xuelin and Zhang Baoling lived together but did not sleep apart, and finally began to erupt contradictions and differences. At the same time, Zhang Baoling's big man personality is also fully displayed, he likes to deny Su Xuelin's words, thinking that everything is right, which makes Su Xuelin very dissatisfied, and the two are gradually irreconcilable, and soon they live in two places, and the marriage exists in name only.
Since there is no affection between the two, it is better to simply let each other be free. Although Su Xuelin could not say divorced because of her Catholic belief, there was no half-friendship between her and her husband. The two were married for 24 years and eventually parted ways. Su Xuelin traveled the world alone and lived a life that truly belonged to her, although she has remained single since then, but she has lived much better than before after getting rid of the shackles of marriage.
After recalling his life in his later years, Su Xuelin's biggest regret is that he never really understood the taste of love in this life. The times have forced her to live in the environment of seeking perfection, but she still overcomes all difficulties, strives to climb upwards, improves herself, and obtains? Great literary achievements, praised by future generations. As for love, such as people drinking water, cold and warm self-knowledge. It is lucky to meet, and there is no need to reminisce too much, after all, from the perspective of her successful career, Su Xuelin's life is a life with very great value, and it is also a very good life.