In modern society, our children are simply much happier than the previous generation, the previous generation. I didn't worry about food and clothing, I didn't know the sufferings of the world, and I grew up in a greenhouse. However, according to a surprising data reported by the "People's Daily", the detection rate of depression among adolescents in China is 24.6%. Modern children's hearts are sick, and they show that they are either self-harming or hurtful, and they cannot become talents, and when they grow up, they not only cannot bring comfort to their parents, but also bring harm to society. What happened to our children? At the end of the day, many times, it is undeniable that the shadow from the original family is undeniable.
Loving your children as hard as you can is the norm for many of us as parents. This may be an instinct given to human beings by God, enabling people to continue to reproduce and enjoy the beauty of life. However, it is a pity that the love of many parents, the harder they work, the greater the harm to their children and the greater the shadow of life. Especially in the current era, how to care for their children in the family - family education is one of the key points of the state, education, psychology, society and so on. How do we love our children to the best of our ability? I would like to discuss and learn with you, and I hope that our children will grow up in the nourishment of love.
01 Accurate positioning of children
First, we need to clarify what our parents think of our children. The next step is to have the right attitude, method, and way to love your children.
The famous poet Gibran said of the child:
Your children are not your children, but children whom "life" desires for themselves. You can give them love, but you can't give them thoughts; for they have their own thoughts. You can shade their bodies, but you cannot shade their souls. For their souls live in the house of "tomorrow," which you will not see in your dreams. You can try to imitate them, but you can't make them like you. For life does not go backwards, nor does it stay with "yesterday."
I very much agree with Gibran. Although it is the parents who give birth to their children, the life of the child does not belong to the parents, but to himself, to life, to society. Although it is parents who give their children love and nurture their children to grow, they have their own thoughts that no one has the right to deprive; they have their own path of life to follow, and no one can replace walking. That is to say: First, children are not the private property of their parents. He is not an object, he is a life; second, children will grow up to have their own lives, not copies of their parents.
02 It's good to love your children as much as you can, but please be precise and forceful
When we position ourselves and our children well, we can then accurately love our children, so that they can grow up healthily, so that they can face the storms in life independently and with a positive and optimistic attitude in the future. How to love our children with precision and force? I would like to make two points:
First, give high-quality companionship
The issue of left-behind children is a topic that has been called for in recent years in family education, believing that the best love for children when they are not yet independent and need to be cared for is the companionship of parents. Indeed, loving children is not just about desperately making money, but about spending time with children. In fact, the healthy growth of children does not only require money. In the eyes of parents, a hundred yuan may be very valuable and a necessity, but in the eyes of children, it is not as valuable and valuable as a bouquet of roses that you enjoy with him in the park. A child who nibbles on a chicken leg while shouting at his parents to the video may not be able to feel the happiness brought to him by the food. On the contrary, although he is rough and light, but with his busy parents around, he will also have a sense of inner satisfaction and peace of mind.
However, why do children who grow up in companionship still have many problems such as the generation gap and the stormy period of youth? Objectively speaking, it is more because we as parents neglect high-quality companionship.
High-quality companionship is cared for with care. Although some children have the company of their parents, their parents are often entangled in 3C products and have no heart to care for their children. Loving a child is not only to take care of food and clothing, but also to listen to the child's voice, understand him from the child's point of view, and wait for his growth and maturity.
High-quality companionship is the cultivation of character cultivation and the transmission of life skills. Loving children is not a parent who blindly pays and does everything; the children who accompany them in this way must not know how to thank their parents and understand their parents' hard work, and become the little emperor and little princess in the family. Loving children is to let children participate in housework and learn to pay, on the one hand, they can cultivate the virtues of children's hard work, and constantly master daily life skills from an early age, on the other hand, they have a more healthy understanding of their parents' love, and do not take for granted everything that parents pay and sacrifice.
High-quality companionship is closely watching children grow up freely, happily, and healthily. Loving a child is not to control and harshly rebuke him, but to respect the child's independent personality and use an inclusive attitude to make him feel the love of his parents and the warmth of his family. Don't curb or vigorously oppose children because their actions and choices are different from our parents' ideas. Respect for children is to support children's interests and hobbies. If our child can know his interests sooner, the sooner he can enjoy the joy, find his own direction in life faster and work hard for it, and there is no time spent. If our child grows up without something to love, it will be difficult for him to obtain inner pleasure and satisfaction in his life, and it will be easier to lose himself. How tragic this is!
Second, strive to be yourself and let your children participate in the lives of their parents
There are several pairs of parents who are running for their lives on the Internet, and I will list a few:
Due to the new wave of the epidemic in Henan, on November 5, Zhengzhou reported the trajectory of the five newly infected people. One of the 7-year-old boys, for 12 of the 16 days, went to his parents' food stall after school at 4 p.m. and didn't come home until 10 p.m. For the other 4 days, that is, two weekends, he also followed his parents out of the stall at 2 p.m. So many people in the comment area left messages to discuss, children are not easy, parents are also working hard for their children. Although the parents were tired of running, they did not let their children become left-behind children.
The father of the takeaway worker who is all over the Internet, he took his young daughter to deliver takeaway together, and accidentally photographed the sweet moment when his daughter sat in the takeaway box, but he did not expect to suddenly catch fire. The wife runs a pork shop in the wet market in the morning and is the busiest. So he took his daughter to deliver takeaway in the morning and handed her daughter to his mother in the afternoon. The couple help each other, one hand is life, the other hand is the child. A few years later, it was reported that the daughter still delivered takeaway with her father, and greeted customers and elders very politely.
A documentary, "Bao Ma's Garment Factory", in which the mothers are all working while taking care of their children. Many of these mothers are not locals, because the factory has flexible working hours and allows them to bring their children to work, which meets their greatest needs. During the peak production season, there are many children in the factory, running around, while mothers work on the side.
Under a brine stall in the wet market, there is a study table hidden. The 7-year-old girl studied carefully in the small space under the board with an old computer. In between selling brine vegetables, the mother would squat down to tutor her daughter's studies.
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Whether it's setting up a stall with your children, delivering takeout together, or working in a factory... These ordinary parents may not have much culture, they may not have read many books; they may not have much money to pave a smooth road for their children... But I believe that these seemingly ordinary parents are the wisest people, the most admirable great people for their children! Because children watch them work hard and realize that their work is not easy; although they do not know how to help children with their homework, so what? The efforts of parents are their examples, the hardships of parents are the strength of their hard work to study, parents have been paying in the sweat and slowly getting old, they will also feel the love of their parents, and the gratitude and filial piety that arise.
Meyer, author of "Life by Me". Musk experienced domestic violence, after the divorce, one person with three children, while studying, constantly looking for more suitable jobs, and work hard. Her three children grew up to be very good (one of them, Elon. Musk can be said to be the richest man in the world), a big factor is because they see and feel their mother Meyer in their lives. Max strives to be himself well, with a hard working attitude. Although they are negligent about their mothers because of their heavy work, they are more likely to make up, inspire and learn from her "being yourself".
On the road of raising children, the task is heavy and long for parents, we are all learning while walking, only willing to work hard with precision, so that our children can grow up safely and healthily, and love life. Enough is enough. Share.