Author: Creative Group Shinoda
Recently, I saw a particularly interesting video on the Internet.
There was a couple in Chongqing who invited their former junior high school class teacher to testify to the marriage. It turned out that the two were junior high school classmates, and their early love was broken up by the class teacher. But they later managed to dodge the teacher's gun and the parent's dark arrow, and finally came together happily.
At the wedding scene, the class teacher of the "stick beating Mandarin duck" was humorous and self-deprecating, and the golden sentences were frequently published:
"My method of dismantling CP is very clever, and they are one of the many CPs I dismantle."
"Once the sea was shipwrecked for water, I think the two of them are impossible. But after more than ten years, I found out that they were really 'except for Wushan is not a cloud'. ”
"They punched me in the face with happiness. Today, at the scene, I felt like I was about to be knocked unconscious, but I would rather this happy slap come more violently. ”
……
This one was posted on the Internet, and then amused many netizens.
There is a high praise message that has resonated with many people: "From the school uniform to the wedding dress, the witness is the class teacher who once broke up them, and it is also a kind of romance!" ”
Of course, although the long-distance running of love that sprouted in the school is enviable, when it comes to early love, parents are not calm. Many parents will see it as a flood beast, and stand outright and resolutely oppose it.
So, what would you do if your child fell in love early?
Can't help but think of a hot post on a forum - "In the morning, the husband beat his daughter into the hospital!" fracture! 》。
After learning that their 14-year-old daughter fell in love early, the parents used a lot of methods to stop it. Talking, exhorting, reasoning, confiscating mobile phones, grounding... But no matter which way, it always does not help, the child still goes his own way, openly working against the parents.
Later, her daughter's grades plummeted, but she was still secretly dating boys, and even learned to lie.
Parents are anxious about this, but they are helpless. Until one time, the daughter and the boy went to the hotel to open a room and the child stayed up all night. After learning the news, the parents were shocked, and the father was even more angry and slapped his daughter hard.
Unexpectedly, the daughter who was in the rebellious period also broke out. She frantically threw things hysterically, and smashed the books one by one into the faces of adults.
At this point, my father's emotions were completely out of control. He grabbed the family's hockey club and hit his daughter in the back.
Eventually, the girl was beaten into a fractured tail vertebrae and left with sequelae. Forced by her father's obscenity, she also agreed to the boy's request to break up and transfer schools. The post ended with the statement: "Probably you're right, a fight can solve a lot of problems." ”
Poor parents in the world! In order to take less crooked roads on the road of children's growth, parents really broke their hearts.
Take early love, for example. When the child reaches puberty, under the action of hormones, he begins to have a good feeling for the opposite sex. But in the eyes of many parents, it is a dangerous signal - the key stage of the examination, in case of falling in love, do not delay learning? Once a child loses his mind, his life is ruined.
Therefore, early love is not allowed, not blessed, and adults try to slander it, or even to destroy it simply and rudely without asking.
In the TV series "Little Joy", in order to comfort the crying Qiao Yingzi, the boy Fang Yifan warmly embraced her. This scene happened to be seen by their mothers, and as a result, the adults were like enemies, and the group asked them whether they were in early love. In the face of their parents' high-pressure confessions, the two children were indignant, simply broke the jar and broke it, and gambled to admit to being in love.
In fact, children in adolescence are inherently stubborn, and any out-of-the-box behavior of their parents may detonate them. Tough measures will only push them farther and farther in the end.
Take the example above. Does a beating really solve the problem? On the surface, the daughter gave up the relationship, the parents achieved their goals, and the answer seems to be yes. But in fact, the wounds on the body can be restored, but the wounds in the heart can never be healed. This incident is destined to become a heartbreak for the girl for a lifetime.
There is a saying that goes: "Feelings should be loose and not blocked." "In the face of children's early love, blindly blocking, the effect can often only be counterproductive."
Educator Sukhomlinsky once said: "The love of middle school students is an unavoidable educational problem, and there is no need to hold any mysterious attitude." The emergence of early love among middle school students is not a despicable and shameless thing, it just shows that a person's physiology and psychology have taken another step towards maturity. ”
In the face of the child whose love sinus has just opened, our parents' approach determines the child's attitude towards feelings.
Professor Li Meijin once mentioned that when children are found to be in love early, it is important for parents to learn to guide them according to the situation. Specifically, there are the following points for reference:
1. Talk to your child about your feelings by writing letters
Write a caring letter for the child with your heart, sincerely and frankly congratulate the child on having a favorite object, but also remind him (her) that love is not simply like, but related to responsibility, law and economy.
This traditional way is conducive to children sinking their hearts and seriously thinking about what is true love.
2. Help your children establish a correct view of marriage and love
In Professor Li Meijin's view, after the child goes to junior high school, parents need to consciously communicate with their children about the problem of mate selection. Specifically, if it is a girl, then it should be up to the mother to talk about the "history of gossip".
For example: How did you fall in love with your dad in the first place? What are the important qualities in men? What are your dad's strengths and weaknesses? ......
And if it's a boy, it's up to the dad to tell the son: What is the most important quality of a woman? Why did you fall in love with your mother in the first place? What are her shining points? ......
Let go of the high authority and become the child's girlfriend or buddy, we can really enter the child's heart, guide them to learn to correctly identify the opposite sex, so as to have an objective and comprehensive understanding of love, and establish a correct view of marriage and love.
3. On the basis of respect and trust, positive guidance
Not long ago, a video of a college teacher telling about the concept of love in class went viral and received more than 3 million likes from netizens. The teacher said, "Like a butterfly, don't chase it." You should plant flowers and grass, and when the spring flowers bloom, the butterflies will naturally fly back. ”
truly. We should let our children know that in order to have a good and long-term relationship, the premise is that they continue to improve and remain excellent.
Therefore, parents may wish to make three chapters with their children about what behaviors they cannot do when interacting with the opposite sex; and encourage them to turn their inner love into motivation for learning. "If you bloom, the butterflies will come." This kind of positive guidance will also motivate children to work hard.
So, why are some children more likely to fall in love early?
Professor Li Meijin also pointed out that in addition to the mutual influence of hormone secretion during puberty and classmates, a very important inducement is the lack of a certain gender in the family.
For example, lack of parental companionship, invisible fatherhood, widowed parenting... In such a growing environment, children's love and security are lacking, so they can only seek affection from others early.
On the contrary, a child who has always been haunted by love is rich in heart and independent in soul, so they will undoubtedly be more determined to choose a partner.
It can be seen that in order to successfully solve the problem of children's early love, the love, trust and acceptance from parents are the most effective means of healing.
In fact, not only early love, but also many problems in the process of children's growth, such as parent-child communication difficulties, adolescent rebellion, temper, etc., the solution is also in order.
This requires the care of parents, but also more test of wisdom.
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