There are many children who look very well-behaved and sensible on the surface, and are loved everywhere they go, but they are actually not happy, their hearts have long been full of holes, and their grievances are not told, and they can only bear it silently.
Why do children develop flattering personalities?
1. Parents are too demanding of their children
Many parents have a beautiful vision of "hoping for a son to become a dragon and a daughter to become a phoenix", so they have strict requirements for their children, do not allow their children to make a mistake, as long as they do something wrong, they will be punished.
In such a high-pressure state, the child's emotions are always in a tense state, afraid of doing the wrong thing, so they will gradually become obedient to their parents.
2. Parents like to be angry with their children
Some parents themselves may not have the influence of the original family is not too good, coupled with the pressure of work and life the day after tomorrow, resulting in them often in a very bad mood, and they have no way to control their emotions well, as long as they see that the child is a little unpleasant, they will throw all the anger on the child's head. In this family environment, children can only escape the scolding of their parents by pretending to be obedient and sensible.
3. Parents like to talk to their children about conditions
In general, parents' love for their children is selfless, while individual parents always regard their children as their appendages and always talk about conditions for their children, such as children must get the first place in the exam to go out and play.
These requirements are nothing less than a threat to the child, and the child's long-term life under the threat of the parents will make them live a very depressed life, and they can only please them by satisfying the parents' conditions.
What effect does a flattering personality have on a child?
1. Grow up to become very uninscribing
Children with pleasing personalities dare not speak out even if they have their own ideas in their hearts, because they are afraid of being scolded and punished by their parents, and in the eyes of their parents, they can only do what their parents ask, even if they do it wrong.
In the long run, children will more and more ignore their own inner thoughts, only know how to follow the orders of others, and grow up to become very uninstructed and irresponsible.
2. Personality is prone to inferiority
Children with pleasing personalities generally grow up in the negative words of adults, because parents always keep picking faults for themselves and asking themselves to do more perfectly, which will make children doubt their own abilities, and feel that they always fail to meet the requirements of their parents because they are too stupid, which produces inferiority complex.
3. Care too much about what other people think
Children with flattering personalities usually have no ego, because they need to constantly meet the requirements of their parents in order to be praised, which will make them pay too much attention to their parents' opinions, and unconsciously use their parents' views to influence their behavior.
Pleasing personality is undoubtedly harmful to children and has no benefit, although it can make children look well-behaved, but in fact, it wears out the child's nature, so parents must pay attention to when educating children to avoid letting children form a flattering personality.
Summary: A well-behaved child who does not rebel against his parents can certainly make parents feel at ease, but this is at the expense of the child's mental health. Therefore, parents must pay more attention to the child's heart when educating their children, and do not only pay attention to the child's superficial behavior.