Have you ever felt that there are some parenting problems in life that seem to be insoluble, such as the following scenes, you must be familiar with:
Children are picky eaters and do not like to eat vegetables;
Refuse to brush your teeth, every time you brush your teeth is like a war;
Will compete with other children for toys, no one will let anyone...
The reason has been told ten thousand times, it is useless to roar, the child is soft and hard not to eat, only your blood pressure rubs up and rises, really take him no way?
If you don't listen to reason, it is better to change the "speaking" method
In fact, the child is not deliberately against you, he may not really understand and listen to it, because you are not using the child's language.
Children don't have as many "established rules" in the adult world in their heads, and their lingua franca is games, and the more fun they are, the easier it is to cooperate.
So instead of being reasonable, you should enter the world of children and use games to "talk".
How do I play the game? Let's talk about the typical scene at the beginning.
Scenario 1: Children eat picky eaters
Typical response: "Eat more vegetables to grow tall, oh, you don't eat it again!" ”
How to say it in the game: you pretend to be a vegetable.
"Little friend, I'm broccoli, I'm here to help you grow up fast, oh, you see my curly hair, green clothes, others praise me for being good-looking and delicious, don't you really like me?" At this time, the child may still refuse.
You pretend to be very sorry: "Oh, that's a pity! You don't know that many children are rushing to ask me to help them, because after eating broccoli they can be more powerful, bacteria can not get close to anything, and they will be much stronger than you in the future! ”
The child begins to waver, and you continue to work hard: "I'm going to help the neighbor's child grow a body, he has to eat every day!" "After saying that, put the chopsticks into the child's bowl to take away."
The child's food care psychology was stimulated, and he immediately ate nothing: "I want to eat, and I want to grow up quickly!" ”
Why the child listens: Accurately grasp the child's "possessiveness", and at the same time use the game to make him realize that vegetables are to help him grow his body, and the inner rejection is reduced.
Scenario 2: The child resists brushing his teeth
Typical response: "If you don't brush your teeth, you will have tooth decay, and your teeth will hurt!" ”
How to say it in a game: you can first pretend to follow the child's meaning.
"That's great! The baby doesn't brush his teeth today, and the little bug can dance in the baby's mouth again, and I see it! "As soon as the child hears it, he has to look in the mirror.
You pretend to be nervous: "Oh no, the baby will not take the toothbrush to brush his teeth, don't take it!" "The child will certainly not listen to you, pick up the toothbrush and brush his teeth."
You pretend to be even more frightened: "Oh my God, it's too dangerous, the little bug is running to the left of the tooth, it's safe here!" "The child brushes left.
Then you repeat the trick: "The little bug runs to the right, and the baby can't brush it here!" ”
"Hide above hide above!" "Hide underneath!"
When the child finishes brushing his teeth and spitting out foam, you say "Oh, the little bug was spit out by you", and the child must be happy.
Why the child listens: Using the child's rebellious psychology and competitive spirit, with the goal of defeating you, he suddenly has the motivation to brush his teeth.
Scene three: Two children grab toys and don't give in to each other
Typical response: "Are you two taking turns playing?" The older brother let the younger brother play first."
How to say it with the game: You might as well try becoming a "quarrel witch" to grab your children's toys.
"The quarrel witch is coming! My favorite thing is to watch kids fight so I can take advantage of your toys! ”
Then you continue to say to the two of them, "Don't give him the toy, don't be a good friend with him, because the quarrel witch is most afraid of you reconciling and becoming good friends." ”
As soon as you intervene in this way, the children will immediately unite against you and grab the toy? Non-existent, we are good friends!
Why children listen: Children like to fight with adults, this game gives two children a reason to "cooperate", and immediately united the front.
With the power of play, the parenting problem is no longer difficult
Solving parenting problems in a gamified way is called "play power".
Play power is the parenting concept proposed by parent-child psychologist Dr. Lawrence Cohen, which breaks the box of "I am an adult, I want to teach you the truth" and lets parents know that parenting can also start from games.
Of course, the game force emphasizes not only "play" itself, behind the ever-changing game, what remains unchanged is 3 principles:
Connection: First use love and care to establish a close connection with the child, which is the premise of his willingness to cooperate;
Look inward: Be a patient listener and find the real needs behind your child's behavior in order to use the right way to play;
Nudge: When the child is afraid of retreating, do not rush to force him in one step, but on the basis of acceptance, gently push the child to continue to move forward in the form of play, and approach the goal in one attempt after another.
Play is not only a parenting method, but also a way to really see children.
Whenever you feel powerless and crazy in the process of parenting, you may wish to try the game power, and at the same time, you can also create a relaxed and happy parenting environment.
In ordinary life, you may also inadvertently use the game power of the scene, which is not only a small skill to solve parenting problems, but also a rare parent-child time
How do you interact with your children? Welcome to share and communicate in the message area