01
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not complicated, the real complexity is human nature; the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not difficult, because there is no sense of boundaries to be difficult. If it is done that you are you, you have your life, I am me, I have my life, how can there be contradictions in this? The reason why it can't be done is either greedy thoughts or unclear.
In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we should not have too high expectations, for your mother-in-law, always think that it is your mother-in-law, for your daughter-in-law, always think that it is your daughter-in-law.
Otherwise, expectations will be disappointed, expectations will be disappointed, and emotions will be there, then everyone can no longer do a good job of themselves and maintain good inner peace.
Always remember three words, almost. Almost on the line, almost is the best, no one should think about who is how, how to do to themselves.
Try to be separated in life, which can avoid a lot of contradictions, life separation, refers to really independent to live your own life, in fact, you should also have your own life.
In this way, even if the mother-in-law (daughter-in-law) has many shortcomings, you do not need to tolerate it, after all, it has nothing to do with you, she has her life, you are living your life. If there is still a contradiction, then the reason behind it is very intriguing, and it is very likely that they are greedy for each other.
Both want to covet each other's benefits, but do not want the other party to interfere in their own lives; both want to enjoy each other's advantages, but do not want to endure each other's shortcomings.
But in this world, where there are two sweet things, either you have everything to suffer, or you don't covet anything. The reverse is the same, either you leave everything alone and want to be qualified.
02
In life, we can often see some mothers-in-law to their daughters-in-law, better than their own daughters, so what kind of emotions is this out of? Is it a mother-in-law who can really treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter? On this issue, I heard the confession of a 54-year-old mother-in-law: "Daughter-in-law is daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law is daughter-in-law, it can never be the same!" ”
Every time I go to Aunt Zhang's house as a guest, I will always be infected by that warm atmosphere, and even make people feel that as a mother-in-law, there may be few people in the world who can do better than Aunt Zhang.
As long as the daughter-in-law says what she wants to eat, as long as she helps her realize her wishes as much as possible, sometimes even her daughter does not have this treatment.
However, it is worth mentioning that Aunt Zhang has never made a single accusation against her daughter-in-law, or educated her daughter-in-law with the attitude of an elder, and everything is laughed off, whether good or bad. But for her daughter, Aunt Zhang is always very strict, regardless of any face and so on.
Why is that? The 54-year-old mother-in-law said a very thought-provoking sentence behind her back:
"Your daughter-in-law is your daughter-in-law, and it is only because of her relationship with your son that you have a relationship, so you must always distinguish this, if you regard your daughter-in-law as a daughter, then don't think about a harmonious mother-in-law relationship." 」
In a fundamental sense, if you treat your daughter-in-law as a daughter, then this is already contrary to the essence of the mother-in-law relationship, accounting for the power, responsibility, duty, etc. in the mother-daughter relationship, but there is no actual content in the mother-daughter relationship between you, the deepest content.
For example, at the very least, words and deeds will become casual, and the other party will never tolerate you and accept you like a daughter (mother).
As for being particularly good to the daughter-in-law, what kind of emotion is it, in fact, there is no emotion and like, but only for the harmony of the family, or to consider the overall situation of family harmony. And this is more of a love for the son, good for the daughter-in-law, is to help the son to better maintain the relationship between husband and wife, if the son is busy with the cause, it is inevitable to ignore her some, then his warmth to her, can always play some comforting effect in her spirit, the family is like this, the focus of men is mostly on the outside career.
With such a dedication to the daughter-in-law, aunt Zhang is not hard? Of course, it is hard, but who makes her son not have much ability, otherwise she would not have to work so hard.
Although the daughter is more severe, there is always a special feeling between the two people, which is equivalent to saying that there is no need to have any disguise, and it is completely possible to expose the innermost content of each other, so it is impossible to judge anything from the form.
03
It is difficult to be a daughter-in-law, and it is even more difficult to be a mother-in-law, although it is only family life and membership relationships, but it is always a very test of people's wisdom. Seriously, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is just a mother-in-law relationship, there is no blood relationship, there is no grace of birth and maintenance, this is a fact, and it can never change this.
So to some extent, it is not realistic to really treat the other party as a mother and a daughter, even if it can be done in form, but emotionally reluctant and cannot be changed.
If you do, it's most likely a disaster.
Because you will immediately go to the calculation, I will take you as a daughter, why don't you take me as a mother? As long as it is an individual, there will be such a plan. Or in your subconscious, if you treat your daughter-in-law as a daughter, then you have the expectation that your daughter-in-law will treat you as a mother.
Between mother and daughter, there is such a real content, there is such an internal content, there will be contradictions, not to mention between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, even if they can usually be regarded as daughters (mothers), when there is a contradiction, it is not the same, it is not easy to digest and the contradiction will accumulate.
It is better to accept this point, and then do this well, just a mother-in-law's good to the daughter-in-law, just the relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law, no one should raise this relationship to another degree, no one should beautify the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law too much, which requires that we cannot have too high expectations for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Otherwise, when the other party does not meet your expectations, it will be angry, it will be annoyed, it will be frustrated, the emotion has been generated, and the contradiction will be far away? Think about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, that is the case, may wish to pretend to be confused, there is such a tacit understanding, it is always good.
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