"The misfortune in my marriage is a big secret in my life. I always wondered what misfortune that the xiangfeng woman saw on the fate map before changing my zodiac sign to a dog? ”
In 1900, Zhang Youyi was born in a large family in Baoshan, Shanghai, and his family was well-off in the early years, but later because his father and brothers separated the family, he did not take away a single piece of property, so that the family fell in the middle of the road, but because of the strength of several brothers in the family, the family was quickly re-supported.
Zhang Youyi's marriage was made when the family road was not good, and the fourth brother was used as a matchmaker, and he fell in love with Xu Zhimo, the only son of Xu Shenru, a wealthy merchant in Jiangnan. This year, Zhang Youyi was only 13 years old, and her fiancé Xu Zhimo was only 16 years old. At the first glance of Xu Zhimo's photo, her father asked her, "What do you think of this person?" Zhang Youyi said calmly, "I have no opinion." This is Zhang Youyi's attitude, she said: "I want to marry the man whose family is in my picture." But she later heard the servant say that Xu Zhimo skimmed his lips at the first sight of her photo and said with disgust: "Rural buns", which is Xu Zhimo's attitude towards her at the beginning.
Figure | Zhang Youyi's family
On December 5, 1915, Zhang Youyi officially married Xu Zhimo. The dowry represents the status of the in-laws, and the Zhang family attaches great importance to this. At that time, the family's prestige had been supported by several brothers, in order to ensure Zhang Youyi's marital status, the family used a bitter conscience to buy dowries from Europe, the degree of richness was staggering, a train could not fit, and finally transported back by ship.
However, the generous dowry did not bring Zhang Youyi the slightest happiness.
Within a few weeks of marriage, Xu Zhimo left home to continue studying, Zhang Youyi was not allowed to go with him, he had to stay with his in-laws, and he wanted to continue to complete his studies in girls' school but he failed to do so. During the four years that Xu Zhimo studied in China, he would write letters to his parents regularly, but at the end of the letter, he always forced himself to add a greeting to Zhang Youyi. Xu Zhimo's vacation was the only time Zhang Youyi spent with him, but the four years added up to about four months. Xu Zhimo would read in the courtyard, and Zhang Youyi would sew things next to her, but Xu Zhimo would ignore her, preferring to direct the servants to do this and that, rather than have a word with her.
Zhang Youyi once said: Xu Zhimo has never looked at me squarely, his eyes have only skimmed over me, as if I did not exist. ”
For Xu Zhimo's indifference, Zhang Youyi felt lost, but she still remembered her mother's teaching before marriage: "First, once you enter the Door of the Xu family, you can never say 'no', you can only say 'yes'. Second, no matter what happened between my husband and me, I had the same attitude toward my in-laws. Therefore, staying in the courtyard of the deep house all day and taking good care of her in-laws is the top priority she regards. So that she had been married to her in-laws for so long that she had no chance to walk on the street.
Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo's desire for marriage is different, Xu Zhimo pursues romance and longs for free love, but Zhang Youyi does not know what love is, only knows how to teach her husband and children, and the deep-rooted traditional ideas can never be blended with Xu Zhimo's new wave ideas, destined that Zhang Youyi is about to experience a great change in life.
After finishing his studies in China, he and Zhang Youyi gave birth to the eldest son Xu Jikai, and after completing his parents' wish to hold their grandchildren, Xu Zhimo ran abroad to study.
Figure | The grandmother held the hand of her grandson Ah Huan
In the autumn of 1918, Zhang Junjie, the second brother who hurt Zhang Youyi the most, was preparing to leave for the Paris Peace Conference, and before leaving, he asked his sister when he would go abroad to reunite with Xu Zhimo. Zhang Youyi was shocked after hearing this, and she said: "I never thought of reuniting with him, because I thought my responsibility was to stay with my in-laws. ”
Zhang Junjie told his sister, "You have fulfilled your family responsibilities and should be with your husband and even study in the West." In order to let Zhang Youyi go abroad smoothly, Zhang Junjie persuaded Xu Zhimo's parents while writing to Xu Zhimo to exert pressure. Zhang Junjie is a political figure with a head and a face, Xu Zhimo did not dare to be too careless in his urging, and finally reluctantly wrote to his parents, and Zhang Youyi was able to be approved by her in-laws to go abroad.
Zhang Junji did his best to care about his sister, and if he continued to be separated like this, Xu Zhimo's heart would be even farther away from his sister. But he hid a fact from Zhang Youyi, which had long been spread in London, and only Zhang Youyi did not know. Although the brother did not break through this layer of paper, the sudden nervousness of the brother had already made Zhang Youyi feel uneasy, and the woman's intuition was very accurate.
In the spring of 1921, while taking a boat to the port of Marseille in France, Zhang Youyi suddenly recalled a passage that Xu Zhimo once paced around the room:
China is going through a game of change that will free individuals from being slaves to traditional practices. These traditions prevented him from acting according to his true feelings, so he challenged them to become the first divorced man in China.
However, the strange thing is that although Zhang Youyi was surprised after listening to it, she was not worried at all. She believes that divorce can only occur if a woman loses her virginity or does not take good care of her in-laws, and such women will be abandoned even if they return to their mother's home, and they can only sell prostitution, become a family or commit suicide. He has not done anything to apologize to the Xu family, Xu Zhimo is educated, and he will not force her to divorce.
After disembarking, Zhang Youyi recognized Xu Zhimo in the crowd at the first glance, and she said: "I can see his attitude at a glance, and I can't make a mistake, because he is the only person in the pile of pick-up people who shows an expression that does not want to be there." At that time, Zhang Youyi's heart was very cold, Xu Zhimo pulled her to buy a hat for the first time, dressed in Western style, took a few photos and sent them back to her hometown Jiaoshi to prove that the two were happy to see their parents.
After arriving in London, England, because Xu Zhimo wanted to study at the Royal College of Cambridge, the two moved to Sharston, six kilometers away from Cambridge. It is undeniable that Zhang Youyi fantasized in her heart that after going abroad, she could sing with Xu Zhimofu about the life of a woman, and as the second brother said, she could resume her studies and keep up with Xu Zhimo's footsteps. The reality, however, is that she became a full-fledged housewife, shopping, washing clothes, cleaning the room, and preparing three meals a day. And this kind of day is awkward and lonely, Xu Zhimo simply ignores her.
Zhang Youyi said: "I can't let Xu Zhimo understand who I am, he doesn't talk to me at all." "This made her feel very confused, the second brother is also a new culture person, even more knowledgeable than Xu Zhimo, she can talk to the second brother without talking, but every time she wants to talk to Xu Zhimo, Xu Zhimo always says to her, 'What do you know?' 'What can you say?' ''Country buns'.
It was a marriage without feelings, but Xu Zhimo still did not leave. Zhang Youyi once said: "Once, after he lay down with me, his breathing not only did not ease down, but rose because he felt frustrated and failed. He lost my flesh when he most wanted to get rid of me, and he was discouraged by the fact that we were going to stay together. This sentence responds to the place where many people feel that Xu Zhimo is not ashamed, why don't you like Zhang Youyi and sleep with her?
Until Zhang Youyi became pregnant, Xu Zhimo finally left, and the human world evaporated, and it was very sudden. Zhang Youyi was overwhelmed for a moment, and in the anxiety of anxiety, Zhang Youyi thought about committing suicide, but finally dispelled it. Soon after, Xu Zhimo finally asked someone to bring her a message and asked her: "Would you like to be the daughter-in-law of the Xu family instead of Xu Zhimo's wife?" ”
Not long ago, when Xu Zhimo learned that Zhang Youyi was pregnant, his first reaction was to let Zhang Youyi beat the fetus, when Zhang Youyi was afraid to say: "I heard that someone died because of the beating." Xu Zhimo responded coldly: "There are still people who died because of train accidents, do you see that people don't take the train?" ”
At that time, it was Zhang Youyi who had doubts about her husband's character for the first time, but it was only doubt, she would never have thought that her husband would actually leave her alone, for her as a pregnant woman, in a foreign country, she was not familiar with life, did not understand the language, did not have much money on her, and if she was not careful, there would be danger, which was tantamount to indirect murder.
As for where Xu Zhimo went? In extreme distress, he turned to the direction of pursuing Lin Huiyin, which was also a fact that Zhang Junji had hidden from his sister before, and he did not want to break up his sister's home. True to the saying, "Husband cheats, why is the wife always the last to know?" ”
No matter how she was snubbed before, Zhang Youyi just felt more lost. But when Xu Zhimo left, Zhang Youyi was sure that Xu Zhimo did not want her, which was the first time Zhang Youyi shed tears. She didn't know what to do, so lonely she wrote a letter to ask her second brother for help.
From the beginning of being a matchmaker for Zhang Youyi, Zhang Youyi's brothers and younger brothers have played an important role in the direction of Zhang Youyi's life.
Zhang Junjie, who was in Paris, quickly replied, comforting his sister: "Never beat the fetus, my brother is willing to adopt." Forget about everything and come to Paris. ”
Zhang Youyi received a sum of money from her second brother, went to France, and under the arrangement of her second brother, lived with a friend in the countryside to raise a fetus. Eight months after the pregnancy, the seventh brother came, and Zhang Youyi decided to accompany the seventh brother to Berlin, Germany to give birth. During the whole process, the whole process was taken care of by the delicate seventh brother, and the sweeping and cooking and cleaning were all taken care of by the seventh brother, Zhang Youyi's life, it seems that at this moment, she feels the most relaxed. Therefore, sometimes more brothers and sisters are not necessarily quarrelsome, maybe it is a precious family affection.
Figure | The second brother Zhang Junjie
On February 24, 1922, Zhang Youyi successfully gave birth to her second son Peter, and at the same time, Xu Zhimo, who had disappeared for half a year, chased him to Berlin for the first time, not to see the children, but to force Zhang Youyi to sign a divorce agreement. Zhang Youyi had just given birth at this time and still did not ease up, she was still so traditional, she asked for the consent of her parents first, but Xu Zhimo refused.
"No, no, you know, I don't have time to wait, you must sign now... Lin Huiyin is going to return to China, and I have to divorce now. ”
At this moment, Zhang Youyi fully knew who the woman her husband had cheated on was. She signed her name freely and told Xu Zhimo, "You go and find a better wife for yourself!" ”
This great change in marriage has made Zhang Youyi, who has always been traditional, understand a truth, she said:
"After that terrible time in Shaston, I realized that I could rely on myself, but I couldn't go back to xu's house and live like a girl in Jiaoshi. I made up my mind: no matter what happens, I don't depend on anyone, but on my own two feet. ”
Figure | Zhang Youyi and friends
After that, Zhang Youyi applied to enter Pestalozzi College and began to learn knowledge and study early childhood education. During this period, her father-in-law Xu Shenru still paid a $200 cheque to Zhang Youyi every month, and Zhang Youyi lived on the support of her in-laws. Divorced women are not from their own families, before and now have this saying, but Xu Shenru not only guaranteed Zhang Youyi's life, but later recognized Zhang Youyi as a daughter, bought her a big house, and the family property also left her a copy, so that she could live worry-free.
Zhang Youyi seems to have been cursed in the first half of her life, divorced less than three years ago, and ushered in bad news, and in 1925, her second son Peter unfortunately died in London. At this time, Xu Zhimo was still pursuing his love, caught up in the public opinion with Lu Xiaoman, the wife of his husband, and was taking shelter in Europe.
Figure | Second son Peter
Zhang Youyi once commented on her life divided into two, she said: "I have always regarded my life as having two stages: 'before Germany' and 'after Germany'. Before I went to Germany, I was afraid of everything; after going to Germany, I had nothing to fear. ”
After Peter's death, Zhang Youyi chose to return to China, began to get involved in business, became the president of shanghai women's commercial bank, and showed amazing business talent, the original difficult women's bank soon turned a profit under her management, and her reputation was greatly moved. Zhang Youyi is still not willing to do this, and she founded the first fashion company in Shanghai, Yunsheng Fashion. Suddenly, everyone in Shanghai had to wear clothes in the style of cloud clothes, and even Xu Zhimo also jumped in and invested money in it. At this time, Xu Zhimo's attitude towards Zhang Youyi suddenly changed, and he said in a letter to Lu Xiaoman: "She is a woman with ambition and courage, and she is now afraid of nothing." ”
I don't know if it is to compensate for the frustration of love, Zhang Youyi's steps in business are becoming more and more bold, first targeting stocks and making a lot of money. Later, he hoarded military fuel, monopolized the market, sold at a high price of 100 times, and then continued to invest money in cotton, gold, etc., all of which were repeatedly successful.
After becoming a strong businesswoman, Zhang Youyi had been invited by Hu Shi to dine on the same stage with Xu Zhimo, and also met his new wife Lu Xiaoman, Lu Xu and qing qing me at the dinner table, Zhang Youyi although not hostile, but still feel sour, she frankly said: "I am not an attractive woman, not like other women." I'm a serious person because I'm a person who suffers. ”
Figure | Zhang Youyi and her son Ah Huan
Xu Zhimo has been pursuing love all his life, regardless of his family and son, Zhang Youyi has been filial piety for him and taking care of his parents. Not only that, his marriage to Lu Xiaoman annoyed the second elder of the Xu family, and he was cut off from living expenses, and Zhang Youyi also funded him. The funeral after Xu Zhimo's plane crash was also handled by Zhang Youyi, and later repeatedly funded the luxurious life of the widow Lu Xiaoman.
Do so much for Xu Zhimo, in fact, whether Zhang Youyi has ever loved Xu Zhimo, in fact, Zhang Youyi's answer in her later years is already very clear.
"You always ask me if I love Xu Zhimo. You know, I can't answer that question. I was confused by this question because everyone always told me that I had done so much for Xu Zhimo and that I must have loved him. However, I can't say anything about love, I've never said 'I love you' to anyone in my life. If taking care of Xu Zhimo and his family is called love, then I probably love him. Of the few women he's met in his life, maybe I love him the most. ”
Figure | Zhang Youyi, whose children and grandchildren are on his knees
In April 1949, Zhang Youyi moved to Hong Kong and lived widowed for thirty years, where she re-encountered love, and a doctor named Su Jizhi proposed to her.
Previously, some people had pursued Zhang Youyi, including many celebrities Luo Jialun, but Zhang Youyi refused one by one, because the fourth brother Zhang Gongquan had told her that she could not get married, and the widow's remarriage would make the mother's family lose face. In the face of the fourth brother's admonition, Zhang Youyi's thinking was such a traditional person, she could not make up her mind for a while, and wrote to the second brother and the fourth brother respectively.
The fourth brother never replied to Zhang Youyi, but the second brother was very entangled, sending a telegram to say "good" at one time, and changing his mind and saying "not good" at the same time. Zhang Junjie has been teaching his sister to follow his heart, and after hesitating, he wrote a letter to Zhang Youyi word by word.
"Brother is not talented, for more than thirty years, to the sister widow to observe the festival, the lessons of the green lights, not to ke a little exhausted. Now old, fortunately did not fill the gap first, this name of the teaching, brother An dare to praise the word? Sister Huiren, Hope self-determination. ”
The second brother let her make up her own mind, but Zhang Youyi still did not dare, she thought that her husband died from her son, and she sent a letter to her son Ah Huan, "The mother intends to marry, and the child is willing to be Yun He." ”
His son, who was far away in the United States, quickly wrote back:
"Mother and widow live in the festival, for more than thirty years, give birth to me to caress me, bow me to nurture me, the grace of labor, Hao Tian is reckless. Imayuki has a rough foundation and can look at himself. The grandchildren grew up, all out of the mother's training... There is more suffering in the day, less suffering in the coming day, the life of the mother, less joy, the mother's duty has been exhausted, the mother's heart should be comforted, who comforts the mother's family? Who accompanies the mother? If the mother is a man, the son asks the father to do things. ”
Figure | Zhang Youyi and her grandchildren
Since then, Zhang Youyi, who has been hurt by marriage, has finally bravely accepted love again. In 1953, 53-year-old Zhang Youyi and Su Jizhi were married at a large hotel in Tokyo, Japan. In the 15th year after marriage, Zhang Youyi and Dr. Su went to Europe. She returned to Cambridge, Berlin and other places where she had experienced suffering as a young man.
At that time, I did not have time to appreciate the beauty of Kangqiao, and now I have revisited my hometown, and it is no longer human. Zhang Youyi and Dr. Su sat on the banks of the Kangqiao River, admiring the babbling river, and could not help but sigh:
"He and I sat on the banks of the Kangqiao River, admiring the river that ran around The Cambridge University, and then I realized how beautiful the Cambridge was, and I never knew this before. We were still taking the bus from Cambridge to Sharston, and I just stood outside the cabin where I had lived, staring, unable to believe how young I was when I lived there. ”