Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo's first meeting after their divorce was at the funeral of their second son, Peter.
Back to the day after Peter was discharged from the hospital after giving birth, he went to Wu Jingxiong's house alone to sign a divorce agreement with Xu Zhimo, and it has been three years. But the five thousand yuan of alimony that Xu Zhimo promised in black and white on the divorce agreement has not been received by half of her son so far.
Figure | Second son Peter
On March 19, 1925, Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo's second son Peter (Chinese name: Xu Desheng) fell ill in Berlin, Germany, and a week later, Xu Zhimo arrived on March 26.
According to Xu Zhimo himself, he was ordered by the old lady (mother) to accompany Zhang Youyi, who had just lost her son, on a trip to relax. Of course, Xu Zhimo also believes that as a father, he should appear at the funeral of his second son in time. However, the main purpose of his trip was to avoid the limelight, because he had just been ordered to be hunted down and killed by Wang Geng, director of the Harbin Police Department. The cause of the incident was that Xu Zhimo had pried away the wife of one of his good brothers, and this good brother was Wang Tingchang himself, who threatened to take out the iron son Xu Zhimo and bury him.
In summary, Xu Zhimo's trip to Europe can be described as killing three birds with one stone! He spent five months in Europe, and Hu Shizhicai, the eldest brother of the public relations department in the circle, wrote to him and said, "Come back!" Director Wang decided not to kill you. ”
In August 1925, Xu Zhimo returned to China in his costume. A crime about him endangering the family ended with Wang Gengluo generously putting on a green hat and divorcing his wife Lu Xiaoman. Perhaps letting go of Xu Poet is the most decent step for Wang Geng. He shouted to kill Xu Zhimo, but Xu Zhimo's father Xu Shenru was a huge rich man in Zhejiang Province, known as the "Emperor of Jiaoshi", and dared to move the son of a capitalist? Director Wang was somewhat weak.
Figure | Xu Zhimo
However, the basket that Xu Zhimo poked out was not irrelevant to Zhang Youyi. Xu Zhimo's love affair with Lu Xiaoman was so full of storms that he almost caused a human life, and the second elder of the Xu family could not ignore it.
Previously, Zhang Youyi did not confess to the second elder of the Xu family about his divorce from Xu Zhimo, and now without reporting, the second elder of the Xu family has guessed it and held his stomach, just waiting for Zhang Youyi to return to China to admit it in person.
In the spring of 1926, Zhang Youyi received a letter from the second elder of the Xu family, informing her that Xu Zhimo was about to marry Lu Xiaoman, hoping that she would quickly return to China and go through the process of leaving the family.
In fact, after completing the divorce procedures with Xu Zhimo four years ago, Zhang Youyi should have returned to China. The reason why she did not go back was because she found a legitimate reason for herself to stay, that is, she wanted to study and study. In addition to that, there was a deeper reason, and that was that she was afraid.
Zhang Youyi's feudal thinking goes deep into the marrow, she believes that "a woman's divorce is a shameful thing, and her mother's family will not want her to go back, so she has only three choices: selling prostitution, renunciation and suicide." Out of this fear, Zhang Youyi did not know how to meet her parents and in-laws, and her mood was like Xiang Yu's faceless face to see Jiangdong's father.
And if she returns to China immediately, she will definitely face the unbearable weight of life.
The first consequence Zhang Youyi herself has analyzed, "I divorced without my parents' consent, and going home immediately at this time is a very reckless move, which is also equivalent to defying the fact that I am not filial piety." Therefore, it is very likely that she was greeted by the cold eyes and refusal of her mother's family.
The second consequence was realized after returning home. At that time, Zhang Youyi was taking a train in China, and even though four years had passed, she could still hear others talking about her right and wrong on the train, and the content was quite negative - "Zhang Youyi must be very ugly, and her thinking is very outdated." "Otherwise, why would Xu Zhimo leave her?" It can be inferred from this that if she had returned to China four years ago, the public opinion against her would have been even worse, and the spitting personal attacks may directly cause her social death.
As she herself said,
"I'm afraid I can't stand the attention of everyone, I will feel as if I am the culprit of the divorce, I can't look up, and I will be annoyed because others talk about me, and I can't help but take what they say seriously." 」
So it would be a wise decision to stay and give this sudden marriage change, as well as a good time to buffer the transition of the battered self.
Figure | Photographed in Germany in 1924
After four years, it cannot be said that the above concerns have been eliminated, but at least Zhang Youyi's thinking has undergone subversive changes. The three words "don't care" gently resisted all the cold words, so she used "nothing to fear" to describe her transformed self.
In fact, in the spring of 1926, Zhang Youyi completed her studies and had plans to return to China, after all, although Liang Yuan was good, she was not a long-term hometown. But what she did not expect was that the second elder of the Xu family was more anxious than she was, and the reason for the hurry was obviously that he wanted her to intervene in the marriage between Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman. At that moment, Zhang Youyi realized that although she was thousands of miles away, she still inevitably became an insider.
However, this is exactly contrary to her wishes in the future. She believes that at present, if the relationship with Xu Zhimo is dissolved, it should be clearly demarcated from the Xu family, and any resolution of the Xu family is an internal household affair, and Youyi is only an outsider.
During the journey back to China in costume, the letter of returning to the hometown has arrived at the mother's house first. Zhang Youyi was uneasy in her heart, she knew that the brothers and sisters at home never mentioned their divorce, and she had never leaked the news of divorce to her parents. But they could not have heard of it, or they may have already grasped the information that "the daughter of the Zhang family was suspended". In short, Zhang Youyi can't help but be afraid of what attitude her parents will use to treat herself.
When the train arrived at Shanghai Station, the brother and sister who picked her up had been waiting for a long time, and there was no sign of her father, but she could faintly see her mother walking quickly.
As soon as she stood on the platform, her mother hugged her, she did not cry, but her mother fell on her shoulder and sobbed.
"Mom knows everything, he doesn't love you Mom will take care of you."
"Don't cry. As long as I'm happy, that's the most important thing. Zhang Youyi said comfortingly.
Back at home, Zhang Youyi first greeted her father, who paused for a while before answering and asking her about her life in Europe, but did not mention the divorce. Zhang Youyi was surprised, you know, if there was no such a traditional father, there would be no such traditional her. But at this moment, my father did not speak ill of him, nor did he adopt feudal family rules to punish himself.
Figure | After returning to China, he took a group photo with his mother and sisters, and it was Youyi who wore a hat
As soon as she got the news that Zhang Youyi had returned to Shanghai, Xu Zhimo's father, Xu Shenru, sent someone to send a message to ask her to come to the hotel to discuss things quickly.
Zhang Youyi could have ignored it, but she was grateful that the old man had always been not thin to himself, and indeed could not pat his ass and leave, and should have handed over the work face to face.
There were three people in the suite of the hotel, the old man, the old lady, and Xu Zhimo. What the second elder of the Xu family wants to listen to is nothing more than Xu Zhimo's marriage permission. No matter what divorce documents Xu Zhimo signed, if Zhang Youyi did not give permission, the second elder of the Xu family could not agree to him marrying Lu Xiaoman.
Because things are not controversial, their conversation is simple.
"Is it true that you divorced my son?" Xu Shenru asked.
"Yes." Zhang Youyi answered calmly.
"Then do you not object to his marriage to Lu Xiaoman?" Xu Shenru asked again.
"No objection." Zhang Youyi shook her head.
After saying that, Zhang Youyi resigned, Xu Zhimo reveled, and the second elder of the Xu family fell into a deep disappointment.
After this day, Zhang Youyi had completed the resignation formalities, but she went back to Jiaoshi's in-laws for a few weeks. This operation was not confusing, because she had not seen Ah Huan, the eldest son who remained in her in-laws' family, for five years. Of course, in addition to the reunion of mother and son, as a divorced mother, she is also eager to "take back" her son, especially when she foresees that the old man and the old lady will raise Ah Huan to be more and more like Xu Zhimo.
In the past five years, Ah Huan has become a "left-behind child", Xu Zhimo has ignored Ah Huan, under the spoiling of his grandparents, Ah Huan's personality is embarking on another road of no return, and it is very likely to become "Version 2.0 Xu Zhimo" in the future.
Figure | Ah Huan with grandparents
According to Chinese tradition, a woman cannot take her son away from divorce, which is a well-known rule. But the next development of things surprised Zhang Youyi.
When she proposed to the second elder of the Xu family to take Ah Huan, she only presented two very ordinary and unconvincing reasons:
First, at present, the warlords in China are in turmoil, and the rural areas are the places where conflicts are high, and it is safer for Ah Huan to go to Beijing to live.
Second, Beijing's education level is higher, and Ah Huan can receive a more systematic education.
Thinking about it with your knees, you know that the above two things, Xu Shenru can easily do better with a flick of soot, and there is no need to return the precious grandson to the original owner. But the result was that the second elder of the Xu family happily agreed to Zhang Youyi's request.
At this step, Zhang Youyi can already slip away, and be fast. Because during the weeks she stayed in Jiaoshi, the townspeople still casually called her Mrs. Xu, which made her embarrassed and extremely uncomfortable. Therefore, breaking away from the relationship with Xu Fu as soon as possible and avoiding entanglement will be of great benefit to his own reputation.
However, on the eve of Zhang Youyi's entry into Beijing with her son, Xu Shenru coldly informed her that she had divided the Xu family's property into three equal parts: one for Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman, one for her and her grandson Xu Jikai, and the other for himself and the old lady.
After Zhang Youyi understood, she immediately felt blushing, as if her heart was all shaken out at once.
The second elder of the Xu family has a very clear heart, living to this age of young people what they think in their hearts how can they not know, this "daughter-in-law" is nothing more than wanting to get rid of the Xu family with her grandson. Of course, they did not agree, but they would not say it explicitly, but they would go around the bend and let Zhang Youyi guess what they meant--to show that he had made the greatest concession to take away his son, and to give you a share of the property, the representative still respected you, but you could not cut off the connection with the Xu family--Xu Shenru, who was flattered by Zhang Youyi, was pinching her life.
Take it, everyone will know that Zhang Youyi still has a close connection with Xu Fu, and people with long tongues can borrow the topic to play.
If you don't take it, you can. But you must know that north drift is a long-term and arduous undertaking, not to mention taking your son with you. And when she first returned to China, Zhang Youyi was not confident that she could find a good job to support herself and her son. The only compromise method is to ask Xu Zhimo for child support but it is not in line with her style, and asking for help from her mother's family is even more disgraceful.
It was pointless to think about it, Zhang Youyi was decisive. It may be contrary to the original intention of "two Qing" in Xufu at the beginning, but she is only a woman, a woman who is too young, and she cannot completely rely on her own ability to be independent in the society at that time, let alone lose the foundation of life for her own face.
Figure | Zhang Youyi
Xu Shenru made this move, and reluctantly shouted, "First salute and then soldiers, want to capture the old and indulge." And the most shrewd point is that this property is not given at one time, but a fixed monthly sending three hundred yuan to Zhang Youyi. It is indeed an old rapist... Oh well... Foresight. To put it bluntly, the second elder of the Xu family is still very reluctant to be this virtuous and virtuous daughter-in-law, otherwise it is easy to stretch Zhang Youyi away with one kick.
Soon after Zhang Youyi and Ah Huan left Jiaoshi, Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman got married. Zhang Youyi received the congratulatory post, but did not go. The second elder of the Xu family also scolded each other at home for their sons.
Maybe a month later. Zhang Youyi suddenly received a telegram from Xu Shenru from Tianjin, which was very brief: "Please bring a maid to see us at our hotel." ”
Zhang Youyi guessed that the old man and the old lady were afraid that it was not as simple as coming to see their grandson, and did not dare to be sloppy, so they immediately left for Tianjin.
Unsurprisingly, as soon as she entered the hotel, the old lady spat bitterly at her and dragged her to sit down and count the various crimes of the new daughter-in-law Lu Xiaoman in a complaining tone. For example, "when I came to my in-laws' house, I hired six palanquins to carry them", "I didn't clean the bowl when I ate", "I acted in front of my in-laws".
"Did she figure out where she was?" The old lady said more and more angry, Xu Shenru next to her always had a black face, but Zhang Youyi had a calm face, thinking: What does this have to do with me?
Barabala was a lot, and the old lady finally said the last appeal, "So, we will come to the north to find you, you are our daughter-in-law..." Xu Shenru coughed lightly, and the old lady stopped talking and turned her eyes to Zhang Youyi.
Zhang Youyi was shocked, and the reception of the second elder of the Xu family was a very sensitive issue. Because Xu Zhimo has re-established a family, the second elder of the Xu family did not live with his son, but instead went to find a woman who divorced his son. Clear-eyed people can see that the Xu family must be a war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if Zhang Youyi provides convenience at this moment to receive the second elder of the Xu family, is it not clear that he wants to lay down Lu Xiaoman's face?
But isn't seeing death saved? Zhang Youyi still receives the old man's three hundred yuan "low guarantee" every month? How dare she!
After learning that his parents were picked up by Zhang Youyi and went to Beijing, Xu Zhimo became angry and embarrassed, made a phone call, and directly silenced Zhang Youyi.
Xu Zhimo simply stood up for Lu Xiaoman, pretended to be cursed, and stopped looking for Zhang Youyi to trouble.
Figure | Xu Jikai (Ah Huan), Xu Shenru, Zhang Youyi
When the second elder of the Xu family moved to Beijing, it was the eve of the Spring Festival, and they spent the festive season with their grandchildren and former daughter-in-law, and the warm picture of their happiness and harmony made Zhang Youyi mistakenly think that she had never left the Xu family.
Shortly after the Lantern Festival, Zhang Youyi received an urgent telegram, which was the news that her mother was critically ill.
Due to the suddenness of the incident, Zhang Youyi had to arrange for the second elder of the Xu family to return to his hometown of Jiaoshi first, and he hurried back to Shanghai to see his mother for the last time.
Less than ten days after Zhang Youyi arrived home, her mother died. The father was devastated and murmured, "There is no fun in life." A hundred days later, my father also went with my mother.
Zhang Youyi could not help but sigh that her parents had set each other's lives since they were born, and had been supporting each other for a lifetime, until Huang quan was only a hundred days apart, which was a model in the old-style marriage. But looking back on my old marriage, it was so unhappy.
Figure | The Zhang family siblings gathered in Shanghai to attend their parents' funeral
After dealing with the funeral of her parents, five months have passed, Zhang Youyi did not return to Beijing, but stayed in Shanghai, and Ah Huan also transferred from Beijing to Shanghai to study.
After the death of his parents, the fourth brother canceled the lease of the family base (the original house of his parents) and instead gave up his house in Fanyuan in the concession to her.
Coincidentally, Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman also lived in the concession, which was nothing, and Zhang Youyi bumped into the most to say hello. But unexpectedly, the second elder of the Xu family, who had previously quarreled with Xu Zhimo and his wife, also moved to the concession to live with them, and Zhang Youyi inexplicably felt an ominous premonition.
Sure enough, in the early morning of a beautiful mood, Zhang Youyi received a call from the old lady, and the first sentence of the split head was: "I can't stand it anymore!" I must tell you about Lu Xiaoman, I can no longer bear to live in the same home with this woman. ”
Zhang Youyi, like a wired customer service, patiently listened to the old lady's cries and briefly recorded this family dispute:
A man surnamed Weng Ruiwu (Weng Ruiwu) lived in the family, who was Lu Xiaoman's Daoist friend and boyfriend, and they slept in a bed and smoked opium, and Xu Zhimo did not care. What was most intolerable was that Lu Xiaoman indulged the outsiders surnamed Weng to eat and drink more than once, and also stepped on the old lady's head with one foot. The old lady wanted to make a cup of ginseng tea, and the king said indiscriminately: "Madame has explained that the ginseng is left for Mr. Weng to eat!" The angry old lady screamed, "Whose territory is this?" Is it the in-laws, the daughter-in-law's, or the boyfriend Mr. Weng's? ”
Figure | Mr. Weng Ruiwu in the incident
That was the end of the matter, and the result was expected, the old lady pleaded on the other end of the phone in a tone that was almost about to cry: "This home has been destroyed, I don't want to live here again, the old man and I want to move in with you." ”
Zhang Youyi did not immediately agree, only on the pretext of discussing with the fourth brother, the owner of the house. After dropping the phone, she immediately broke into a cold sweat and thought how inappropriate this is! The last time the second elder of the Xu family coldly lived in his home, Xu Zhimo was almost angry to tear up along the phone line, this time more dangerous than the last time, Xu Zhimo lived not far away, if you annoy Lu Xiaoman again, Xu Zhimo can climb over the wall in minutes to give Lu Xiaoman homework.
At the thought of this, Zhang Youyi was full of remorse. Originally, before returning to China, I thought about pulling away from Xu Fu, but I didn't expect that I would not be able to withdraw now, but I would fall deeper and deeper. Now that she has encountered such a critical moment, she should actually refuse decisively, so that she can more tacitly explain her position to the second elder of the Xu family - the non-Xu family does not care about the Xu family affairs. But whenever she reached this kind of threshold, Zhang Youyi was soft-hearted, and there was the love of the old man and the old lady that made her unbearable, and there was also the original intention of the second elder of the Xu family who vowed to honor the second elder of the Xu family as her parents when she first married into Xu Mansion.
In the end, sometimes failure as a person fails in not being able to make a few people sad, and finally sorry for themselves. Zhang Youyi is the most sorry for herself!
Based on the lessons of xu Zhimo's previous criticism last time, Zhang Youyi understood that if he didn't handle it well this time, he would definitely end up not being a person inside and out. In order to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past, she carefully arranged the plan for the second elder of the Xu family, telling them to return to their hometown of Jiaoshi happily for a week or so, and then tell Xu Zhimo that he would come to Beijing to spend a small time with his grandchildren.
The second elder of the Xu family did as he was, and Xu Zhimo did not come to look for stubble. In fact, Xu Zhimo knew in his heart that he only cared about the way Zhang Youyi did things and did not give Lu Xiaoman face, otherwise Lu Xiaoman would have to assign him homework.
The Zhang and Xu families are in the concession, and the second elder of the Xu family returns to his hometown to live with his grandson, and no one will think that the second elder of the Xu family fled because of discord with his new daughter-in-law, and the public opinion reaction caused by "immediately, immediately, and now" rushing to find Zhang Youyi is also smaller.
Figure | Zhang Youyi and Ah Huan in her youth
The second elder of the Xu family lived in Zhang Youyi's house for several years, and later after Zhang Youyi became rich in the business world, he first bought a house for the fourth brother in the French Concession, and then he took the house at No. 125 Haige Road in Shanghai, and then built a new house for the second elder Xu family. The new house of the second elder of the Xu family is located behind her house, the two houses are only a few hundred feet apart, and the back door is also open to each other.
Zhang Youyi built a house for the second elder of the Xu family, not on a whim, but a decision made after careful consideration. All along, she has been very troubled by her identity, because she has been fulfilling her responsibilities to the second elder of the Xu family, so the outside world believes that she is still the daughter-in-law of the Xu family, which is equivalent to Xu Zhimo marrying Lu Xiaoman is just a concubine, and she is still Xu Zhimo's wife, even the second elder of the Xu family is also pretending to be crazy and stupid by default. But Zhang Youyi's heart is rejected, how can a divorced woman still be called the daughter-in-law of the Xu family? That's ridiculous. Is it really in response to the crooked theory that Xu Zhimo said when he divorced: "Be the daughter-in-law of the Xu family, and not be Xu Zhimo's wife"? Isn't this right in the middle of Xu Zhimo's heart? The more this is the case, the more he cannot let him succeed, so Zhang Youyi feels that it is very important to live separately from the old lady, which is related to the issue of identity, and it is also a solemn reminder to the second elder of the Xu family. However, this did not prevent the second elder of the Xu family from continuing to use her as his own.
In 1931, the second elder of the Xu family had returned to the kip-shek countryside for a nap. In April of that year, Zhang Youyi suddenly received the news that the old lady was critically ill. Xu Shenru called her, saying that the old lady had been moaning to see her and ordered her to leave immediately to return to Jiaoshi.
Zhang Youyi was startled at first, and then the whole person was confused, because there had never been one thing that made her feel so difficult to be a person. She wanted to flash to the old lady's side immediately, but taking care of her in-laws was Lu Xiaoman's responsibility, and what kind of status she wanted to have in the end so as not to offend Lu Xiaoman. She didn't know. Reason told her that she could not intervene in such a major matter as death without Xu Zhimo's permission. At present, the only thing that can be done is to give Ah Huan to Xu Zhimo and bring him back, but the side of the kip stone has become a pot of porridge.
Figure | Ah Huan was a child, and the old lady held his little hand
After Xu Zhimo returned to Xu Mansion, Xu Shenru did not see Zhang Youyi, and he was angry and frustrated, so he immediately made a phone call to Zhang Youyi and asked her why she did not come back.
Zhang Youyi explained: "I am divorced and should not meddle in the affairs of the family. ”
Xu Shen was speechless for a moment, and he really couldn't find any legitimate reason to ask this former daughter-in-law to come back.
Late that night, Xu Shenru made another phone call to Zhang Youyi, and said almost frantically: "You must come to the house immediately, there is no half a woman in the house, we don't know what to do." ”
"Why are you looking for me?" I'm divorced. You call xu Zhimo to listen to the phone. ”
"I'm not going to do anything." Xu Zhimo answered that he had been listening to the phone all the time.
Zhang Youyi breathed a helpless sigh of relief, "You people are really selfish, now you need me, just call me." ”
She compromised, but on two terms:
First, if she came, even if Lu Xiaoman appeared, she would not leave Xu Mansion for half a step.
Second, I didn't come to use it up and give it up, and when I came, I had to get permission to stay and attend the funeral.
Xu Zhimo even agreed, indicating that under the Xu family's emergency, Zhang Youyi could preside over the internal affairs of the family with full authority.
When she arrived at Xu Mansion, the old lady was already angry, and soon entered a state of death, zhang Youyi served in front of the sickbed, and accompanied her through the last two weeks of her life.
The trivial and complicated traditional funeral was handled by Zhang Youyi, and Lu Xiaoman was never seen during the process, after Zhang Youyi was afraid of quarreling with her in the Xu family. However, it was not until the morning of the old lady's funeral that Lu Xiaoman arrived late.
Figure | Lu Xiaoman
At the old lady's funeral, Zhang Youyi was relieved of a depressed knot in her heart, and when she stood next to Xu Zhimo, Lu Xiaoman and Ah Huan as the daughter of Xu Jiagan to greet the mourning guests, she finally figured out who she was. In the long years, she has done a lot of things for the Xu family, but they are all unjustified. When a person does something that is not what he should do, no one will praise, but feel outrageous, Zhang Youyi once felt that he was very outrageous. Now that the second elder of the Xu family has given her the title of a dry daughter, then everything she has done in the past and now can be regarded as her position and doing her best.
After the old lady's death, Xu Shenru lived with this dry daughter for 14 years until her death in 1944.
There is an old Chinese saying: "One day husband and wife for a hundred days." Zhang Youyi only married Xu Zhimo for seven years, and was tragically abandoned, but he sent away his mother, sent his father, and even sent Xu Zhimo himself, but when Zhang Youyi's parents died, Xu Zhimo did not attend any of the funeral ceremonies of Zhang Youyi's parents.
After the divorce, Zhang Youyi once tortured herself in confusion whether she could treat the second elder of the Xu family in a different way, at least she could no longer be an overly competent daughter-in-law like before the divorce. But whenever she saw that the old man and the old lady loved Ah Huan like that, she couldn't help but be ashamed: they were my son's grandparents and my elders, how could I not treat them well? Therefore, Xu Zhimo's ruthless determination, she could not learn in her lifetime. What she understood as "a hundred days of marriage and husband", Xu Zhimo could not understand it for a lifetime.
Finally, let me end this article with a passage from Zhang Youyi.
I've spent my whole life worrying about whether I've fulfilled my responsibilities. Even after the divorce, I still take care of Xu Zhimo's parents because I think it is my responsibility to do so. I did what I thought I should do for Xu Zhimo, his family, and my son.
Love means fulfilling responsibilities and fulfilling obligations.
Figure | Zhang Youyi and grandchildren