Text, picture, video / Yangcheng Evening News all-media reporter Sun Lei
Dressed in a green fresh dress dotted with white daisies, Chen Meiling, 66, sat under an orange lamp, smiling purely and gently, while at the same time carrying the power of time.
Debuting at the age of 14, she became popular in Hong Kong, Taiwan and Southeast Asia in 1969 with a Circle Game; in 1972, she debuted as a singer in Japan with "Yu Meirenhua", and won the Newcomer Award at the Japan Record Awards with a song "Grassland Glory", becoming a popular idol.
When her acting career was in full swing, she chose to go to Canada to study; after getting married, she worked with her children and caused the famous "beauty age controversy" in Japan, and then she went to Stanford University in the United States to pursue a doctorate, and sent her three children to Stanford University.
In 2015, Chen Meiling wrote a book about her educational experience, "50 Education Laws - I Sent My Three Sons to Stanford", which swept the best-seller lists of major education categories. Recently, Chen Meiling launched another new book "Love at the Starting Line - 21 Parenting Laws in the Golden Period of 0-1 Year Old Growth", on the afternoon of April 5, Chen Meiling will hold a book launch at the Guangzhou United Bookstore.
A few days ago, Chen Meiling was exclusively interviewed by a reporter from Yangcheng Evening News in Guangzhou——
Father's love, the meaning of singing
Yangcheng Evening News: You debuted when you were 14 years old, started making movies at the age of 16, became popular in Southeast Asian countries, decades have passed, and now look back at that time, what is the special feeling?
Chen Meiling: Yes, in fact, it is very fast. At that time, a record was released in Hong Kong, and one of the English songs, "The Circle Game", was suddenly very popular, whether it was in the Dragon and Tiger Chart of Chinese Station or the English Station, it was ranked first, so it was very hot. And soon I had my own program: "Chen Meiling Party". Now that I think about it, I really think it's amazing, that is, such a small girl, still a high school student, but in the English newspaper to write about current affairs and politics, bold.
Yangcheng Evening News: What kind of considerations did you choose to study abroad when you were most popular? Aside from your father's advice, what do you personally think?
Chen Meiling: At that time, I went to the University of Toronto in Canada to study child psychology, undergraduate. I previously published an autobiography called "38 Revelations of Life", which also wrote about this problem. At that time, I was in Japan, and when I was 17 years old, I became very popular in Japan, and I began to sing and became popular.
Dad thinks I'm too busy, I haven't figured out whether I like to be a star singer, whether I have time to make friends, eat or even sleep, so he told me that stars, money are flowing water, people can take away, only the knowledge that enters your head is what others can't take away, it's the treasure of your life, when you can study and read, you should be very formal to pursue knowledge. He really thought about me, and I thought he was saying it too well, so I went to Canada to study.
Until now, I didn't think it was a pity to give up singing, but when I said at the development conference that I was going to study, I realized that this was a very influential thing, and everyone was shocked to hear the news, but I still resolutely went to study.
Yangcheng Evening News: Have you ever regretted making this choice and looking back now?
Chen Meiling: I have no regrets, of course, it has a little impact on my singing career. In fact, I didn't think about going back to Hong Kong to sing at that time, but because my father died, I went back to Hong Kong after reading.
Dad's death hit me hard because Dad was the best for me. After I started singing, the people next to me were all looking at me as unpopular or not, and my mother was also very nervous about whether I was doing well or not; but my father was not, he loved me unconditionally, caring whether I liked singing or not, whether I liked acting or not. I was so sad that I was dying, and the person who loved me the most was gone, who would protect me, who would love me?
Before my father died, I told me to take good care of my mother, and out of filial piety, I listened to my mother and continued to sing. But this is not right, I want to say to the young people now, do something out of your heart to really like.
But then something changed my attitude toward singing. Because my mother is from Guizhou, I went back to Guizhou once. At that time, Guizhou was very poor, the house was very small, after I went back, the children in the village came to see me, everyone ate together, and the dining table was placed outside the house. At that time, they sang the song "The Returning Swallow", and I was very touched and cried to me; the children and old people who sang also cried. Therefore, at that time, I saw the meaning of singing, and the song can cross the mountains and the sea and connect people's hearts together.
In 1985, the Soong Ching Ling Foundation invited me to come back to the concert, and also let me sing on the CCTV Spring Festival evening, I sang "The Returning Swallow", and some people said that I was "the number one singer who returned to China".
The biggest myth in education: comparison
Yangcheng Evening News: You sent all three of your children to Stanford University, and you also wrote the book "50 Education Laws - I Sent Three Sons to Stanford", what is your educational secret?
Chen Meiling: The most important thing for children is to always be curious, and when he likes to learn, you must encourage him. Every little friend, when they were almost two years old, asked you everything, why is the sky blue? Why is this sweet? Mom, what is this? Why is it like this? Some adults find it annoying, or let the child wait.
My advice is to never make a child wait, you can answer: "Boy, this question is so good!" "Then tell him the answer or look for the answer with him, and the child will think that his mother will be happy and like him more, and he will always be curious."
We must encourage the child to learn, do not reduce his desire to learn, if he has been maintaining this learning mentality will develop good habits. Learning has a process and a method.
When my children are young, I will let them read to me, instead of me reading to them, and then let them tell their father about the story they just read without reading the book, so that they can cultivate their children's ability to listen, speak, read, summarize and other aspects, in fact, this is the process of their schooling and learning.
Yangcheng Evening News: In your opinion, what is the biggest misunderstanding of parents when educating their children?
Chen Meiling: Compare! Never compare your own children with other children, each friend's learning speed, learning methods are different, the growth rate is also different, if you keep comparing, your child's self-affirmation will be reduced. And as a parent, you will become more and more anxious, why are your children not doing well enough? But in fact, no matter how well you do, there must be someone who does better than you, and no matter how tall you grow, there must be someone taller than you.
Parents should love their children unconditionally, whether he scored 0 or 100 on the test, your love for him should be unchanged. We need children to know that this love is unchanged, but growing up with mom and dad, taking out your best self, comparing with yourself every day, he will slowly do better and better.
Yangcheng Evening News: Now mainland parents are particularly anxious about their children's education, do you have any suggestions?
Chen Meiling: Don't be too anxious, don't fill your child's curriculum, this method does not mean that you can send your child to a top university. The most important thing is that parents learn to stimulate their children's potential and let them do what they like to do, so that they can become successful. And not everyone has to go to a good university, and going to a good university does not necessarily have a happy life.
Learn to choose with a genuine like
Yangcheng Evening News: Your life is very successful in the eyes of many people, do you have a very clear plan for the beginning of your life?
Chen Meiling: Absolutely not. Life is very important is choice, our life is the result of our own choices, the choices made today affect tomorrow, tomorrow's choices affect the day after tomorrow. Smart children will make smart choices, and when they see opportunities, they will pursue, work hard, and not give up, which is very important.
Like and love from the heart is also very important, just like I sing, in fact, I have never thought about the problem of red or not, after my singing is the audience's, it has nothing to do with me. If you don't become popular or fail, don't complain, because there may be a variety of reasons.
Yangcheng Evening News: Which do you think is more important, work or family?
Chen Meiling: I think this question is wrong, in my opinion the most important thing is the next generation, if you do not marry, do not have children, pursue a career, if your career is useful to the next generation, then you should pursue. If you choose the path of marriage and children, then the family is more important, like I said, small children are always the most important.
From my personal point of view, I don't think family can coexist with career. Everyone should learn to choose, and do not be strict about perfection in life. A lot of people feel hard because they're looking for perfection, which they don't need. I'm not a perfect mom, and I wouldn't aim for that.
In life, I will choose to do what I think is more important according to my needs, such as cleaning and cooking, and I will choose to cook; playing and resting with small children, I will choose the former. Therefore, I don't think that I don't sing is a sacrifice in my career, this is just a personal choice for me. Later, when the child was older, when I was about 40 years old, someone came to me to sing, and I sang new songs and had some fans. So, don't force yourself too hard, and when the opportunity comes, try to do it.
Yangcheng Evening News: You have published nearly a hundred essays and two novels, how did your writing career begin?
Chen Meiling: When I was an idol, I began to write some small short poems, with a picture, to form a poetry collection, and the first book was like this. Later, he returned from Canada and began the role of a cultural man, giving lectures and writing about social issues. Later, as a UNICEF ambassador, for 20 years, I began to write stories about children all over the world, about the lives of children I met, which was also very popular.
I love to write novels, and I once wrote two collections of short stories, both in Japanese, and not translated and published in the mainland. There is no time now, and when I am older I will start writing novels again. Fiction is the culmination of creation, because there are many things you can't write casually, but fiction can be fictional. I am now writing serials in Various Media in Japan, five times a month. (For more news, please pay attention to Yangcheng Pie pai.ycwb.com)
Source | Yangcheng Evening News • Yangcheng Pie
Editor-in-charge | Wu Xiaopan
Edit | pine nut
The signing | Lu Hang
Intern | Tan Chunmiao