Author/Window Sill
Yesterday, a friend talked about his experience as a child.
At that time, her family's conditions were not good, and it could be said that it was the worst family in the surrounding villages. She also came to the conclusion that when you are poor, the people around you are most likely to fake kindness.
Of course, the "fake" in this is the current situation that she really realizes when she grows up, when she was young, she didn't have any discernment, and she thought that everyone was for their own good.
The reason why there is a new understanding now is because when their family is not poor, the two children are very successful, relying on reading to completely change their fate and the conditions of the family, she found that not everyone is really happy for them, there are not a few people who say some cool words and sarcastic words outside the words, that is, they do not know what to say, but they are a bit yin and yang, and it sounds uncomfortable.
Even some of her relatives in the family have this situation.
It is precisely because of this contrast that she realizes that some people have been fake in the past.
Where is this falsehood manifested? Specifically, when the conditions of her family were very poor in the past, it seemed that she had met a lot of well-meaning people, whether it was relatives at home or neighbors around her, every time she saw some of the current situation of their family, she could not help but sigh, saying that their family was really suffering. Her father died relatively early, her grandmother was also sick in bed for many years, and all the financial pressure in the previous family was all on her mother alone, and she had to provide for her two children to go to school, really relying on savings all the way, suffering a lot, and suffering a lot of sins.
Of course, there are also some people who help them, and they used to occasionally bring some food to their families and send them some clothes that their children don't want to wear. She and her brother never abandoned it, because the family really didn't have money to buy clothes, and if they had a little good clothes, both of them were very happy, just like the New Year.
She used to be thankful for this, so she kept it in mind, but now, this kind of heart gradually begins to become complicated as she sees more humanity.
At this time, she remembered the past and found that the past was too simple for herself.
For example, at that time, many people, including relatives and neighbors, liked to give advice on anything in her family, and this opinion seemed to be for the good of their family. For example, when she first went to school, she really faced many tests, mainly as a sister in the family, everyone thought that she should take on more responsibilities for her mother, go out early to work and earn money, rather than just caring about her own temporary pleasure, after all, reading costs money.
She chose to study, which was said by many to be ignorant and blessed.
Strangely, she continued to study, her mother did not stop her, her brother also supported, she herself was more willing, because she grew up, her grades were good, even her teachers have always encouraged her, let her not give up. Because reading is her best way out.
But it was the neighbors around her, including some relatives in the family, who had always disagreed, saying that she was willful, that her mother could not get used to her, that she had come by the child, and that she had spoken to her face.
Not only did she disagree, but many of them would come to her home to persuade her bitterly.
Her mother had no opinion, and there were too many people to persuade her later, and if it were not for her own crying and persistence, she would certainly not be able to have her current life through the path of reading. Because her mother had been shaken.
Of course, this is just one of those things, and so are many other things.
She now felt that anything in their family before, no matter how big or small, whether the other party had a good relationship with their family, liked to come to her mother for advice.
This is a kind of false kindness, when she does not see human nature clearly, she thinks that others are looking at their bad conditions, so she plays some kindness. But in fact, how many people are pure in this kindness, no one can say clearly. At least the people who really want their family to be good may be just two, from the fact that she and her brother have a good job through studying, which has greatly changed the conditions in the family, and can be seen by many people saying cool words behind their backs.
Human nature is always complex. The reason why everyone put forward their opinions at the beginning was actually to put it bluntly, but under the guise of being good for their families, they were just showing off their abilities and achievements. Even if the other party's conditions are actually not good, compared with their home, they still find some sense of superiority, thinking that they are more powerful than their family, so they dare to say everything unscrupulously.
This kind of goodness carries with it a condescending scrutiny, with a kind of charity from the strong to the weak.
Essentially, it's really looking down on them, but not being obvious enough to wrap up in a "good" look.
So, this is false goodness, and even this false goodness, some people have deceived themselves.
Only her uncle, who didn't say anything, just tried to help in action. In the past, they used to give their families money, help their families do some farm work, and give them money separately for their two children every New Year's Day. So now she is most grateful to her uncle and goes to visit the New Year every year. After her uncle's daughter went to high school, her English score was not good, her English used to be a strong point, and she gave her uncle's daughter a long time of classes for free, and finally her uncle's daughter was also admitted to a key university.
In fact, this is a very real problem. Human nature is complex and three-dimensional, there are always some dark places, if you always think about the evil of human nature, living in this world is easy to be unhappy, but you can not not measure the evil of human nature, and see everything too beautiful.
At any time, if you measure a person by good qualities, you may find that you will never meet a good person in your life.
To put it bluntly, for most people you meet in life, it is enough to be able to make nods in this life, in fact, there is no need to have too high luxury, good and bad are treated as normally as possible. Only in this way can you live more calmly in this life.
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