Educating children, these 4 things can not rely on school, the key lies in the family | accompany reading

Broadcast | Wu Bingjie

Column host | Du Runnan

The epidemic has repeatedly closed many schools, and children have to stay at home to take online classes. Parents reported that the children are usually not bothered when they are in school, and now they are staying at home and watching for a long time.

Common annoyances are: children's learning attitude is not serious, homework is not active; do not get up on time, sleep; greedy play... There are often unpleasant quarrels between parents and children.

Some parents said: "Hurry up and send it to school and let the teacher manage it!" ”

The growth of a child is inseparable from the joint cultivation of the family and the school. It is undeniable that in school, the learning atmosphere is relatively strong, and the learning time is regular, which is helpful for children's learning effect.

However, some of the key elements necessary for the healthy growth of children cannot be expected from schools and teachers, mainly depending on the family, and the parents are the first responsible persons.

In particular, the following four aspects require the efforts of families:

Develop good habits in your child

Good habits will also shape the child's character and thinking, guide the child's actions, and benefit the child for a lifetime.

From the perspective of parents, helping children develop good habits will improve children's consciousness and initiative, and education will be more efficient and worry-free.

Once watched a video, the reporter entered a high school to interview the teacher, asked: What are the common characteristics of children with good grades in the class?

Several teachers unanimously replied: It is self-discipline.

The reporter also asked: How should this feature be cultivated?

Teachers said: Mainly look at family education.

To cultivate children's good habits, the most critical period is 0-6 years old, followed by the primary school stage. Parents are the people who spend the most time with their children, and they have a better chance to observe the changes of their children bit by bit and give appropriate guidance.

In school, a teacher has to face the whole class of children, in addition to the daily teaching, it is difficult to have enough time and energy to understand and guide each child.

Therefore, to cultivate good habits in children, the family should take the greatest responsibility.

From the child's 1 year old or so, parents should consciously cultivate their children's good living habits: love to be clean and hygienic, go to bed early and get up early, work and rest regularly, put items back in place when they are finished, and have rules for eating at the table.

When the child is about 2 years old, parents can tell more stories, read picture books, and read together with their children; as they grow, they gradually transition to independent reading, and cultivate their children's reading habits from an early age.

In primary school, parents should focus on cultivating their children's learning habits: go home every day to do homework before playing; complete homework within the specified time, without dragging and grinding; review after class, pre-class preparation; prepare a special wrong question book to sort out wrong questions...

Cultivate children's ability to be independent

A kindergarten teacher once mentioned to me that the small class children they recruit every year will have several low self-care ability: eating to be fed, going to the toilet needs help, dressing and wearing shoes is even more difficult, and there is no way to carry out kindergarten activities.

Such children usually have to be brought back by parents to teach for a week, and can be more independent and then brought.

The ability to be independent is crucial to the growth and development of children, including not only independence in life and learning, but also independence in thinking.

Some parents raise their children too spoiled, protected, do everything to help their children do, and do not teach their children basic life skills, resulting in poor self-care ability, lack of independence, and dependence on parents for everything.

This kind of dependence psychology will also migrate to the child's learning, and even internalize into his thinking mode, do not like to use his brain to think, shrink back when encountering problems, and easily become lazy and slack.

Children from about the age of 2, self-awareness budding, began to distinguish between "me" and others, at this time, there is a need for independence, everything thinks of themselves, do not like others to help.

As children grow up, they become more and more eager to be independent, want to prove their abilities, want to be respected by their parents, and have their own personal space.

Parents should respect the child's growth needs, and as the child grows, gradually let go, and give the child a full opportunity to do things independently.

From life to learning, slowly give autonomy to the child, help him learn to make correct choices and decisions, and let him gradually learn self-management and self-responsibility.

Parents only need to demonstrate to the child when he will not, or give him some tips and guidance, to avoid excessive interference and arrangement.

Develop your child's self-confidence

Self-confidence is the cornerstone of a child's future success.

A confident person is more capable of mobilizing and controlling his own behavior and achieving his life goals; while people who lack self-confidence often have some behaviors such as withdrawal and avoidance, and psychological internal friction is also more serious.

The root of a child's self-confidence comes from the family, from the love and attention given to him by his parents, and in addition, it is also affected by the parenting style of the parents.

If the child does not feel full love and security in the family from an early age, no matter how great the external achievements are in the future, the heart will still be full of inferiority and low self-worth.

If the child is in the family, often denied, hit, and restricted by his parents, it will also greatly damage his self-confidence and it is difficult to rebuild.

Therefore, in the process of raising children, parents should pay attention to protecting children's self-confidence and create conditions to enhance children's self-confidence.

First of all, it is necessary to provide a warm and harmonious family environment for children, less quarrels in front of children, vent negative emotions, and give children more love and care.

Secondly, do not give the child a negative evaluation, encourage, appreciate, and trust the child, allow him to constantly try and challenge, and improve his ability in practice.

Cultivate children's good upbringing and conduct

The child's upbringing and conduct mainly depend on the role of parental role models and daily guidance, and the knowledge learned in school and the interaction between peers can only play an auxiliary role.

In addition to paying attention to their children's learning, parents should also pay attention to the cultivation of children's good upbringing and conduct, starting from themselves, and first of all, they should set a good example for their children.

In addition, in the process of children's growth, there should be no less rules, so that children know how to restrain their words and deeds and establish correct values.

In terms of parenting: there are rules for eating at the table; politeness in treating people and objects; not noisy in public places; loving environmental hygiene; speaking to consider the feelings of others, not mocking and slandering others...

In terms of conduct: honest and trustworthy, helpful, sincere, upright, know how to introspect...

Educating children also has to pay and reap the rewards. I hope that every parent can realize the importance of family education and start from the above four aspects to cultivate children with healthy hearts and excellent happiness.

The source of this article | this article is reproduced in Qian Zhiliang Studio (ID: qzlzgs)

The author of this article| Qian Zhiliang, is a famous teacher at Beijing Normal University. Focus on special education, family education, early childhood education. He is the author of "Early Knowledge of Admission", "Early Education of Science", "140 Chinese Characters learned in a hurry", etc.

Responsible editor| Wang Jiashi