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In some families with many children, because the child's height grows too fast, the clothes are too small to wear soon after they are bought, so at this time, parents usually give the old clothes of the older children to the children to wear.
Decades ago, during a difficult period for China's economy, this was a very common situation, and in order to save money, every household was like this.
However, with the development of the times and the improvement of economic standards, after people's material life is enriched, wearing new clothes is not a difficult thing for many families, so in this case, many children are not willing to wear the old clothes left by their older brothers and sisters.
It is inevitable that parents have developed frugal habits because they have experienced the conditions of poverty, but children do not have similar experiences, and if they accuse him of not wanting to wear old clothes, this will definitely have a negative effect on their children's education.
Not only that, some parents not only let the younger children in the family wear the clothes of their brothers and sisters, but also added large clothes sent by relatives and friends to their children's wardrobes.
Is this way of dressing correct? The answer is no.
It is undeniable that thrift and thrift is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, but parents also need to pay attention to the psychological condition of their children, psychologists believe that in the case of economic conditions permitting, if the child shows a strong resistance to the matter of wearing other people's old clothes, then parents should not force it, if they blindly force their children, it is likely to cause disaster.
Letting children wear old clothes will have a negative impact on children's growth, mainly reflected in the following three aspects.
First, lose control of one's own destiny
The sense of control is one of the inner psychological needs, everyone is inevitable, humanist psychology of Abraham Maslow said that the sense of control can reflect the subjective initiative of human beings, people with a sense of control often think that their fate and life trajectory is controllable, this situation will undoubtedly make people feel safe.
The sense of control is mainly reflected in the control of one's own destiny, the control of others, and the control of the surrounding environment, these three aspects, if the child can not even decide what clothes he wears, then it will become more and more desperate and helpless, and after a long time, there will be a lack of control.
From the parent's point of view, the child seems to have become obedient and sensible, but in fact, this performance is very abnormal, because another aspect of obedience and understanding is the lack of opinion, lack of self-confidence, and lack of security.
Second, long-term charity, self-value damage
If the child's personality is more obedient, or if you are educated and encouraged to accept the behavior of wearing old clothes quickly, then the child's growth will not be negatively affected? Miss by a mile.
If parents give encouragement to their children's behavior of wearing old clothes, the children will pay less and less attention to appearance, and even admit to the behavior of wearing old clothes in their hearts, in their hearts, wearing other people's old clothes has become a matter of course, and it does not matter if they are given charity.
Do not let children form a character that is easy to compromise or casual, if they accept what others have used for a long time, they will subconsciously identify themselves as a role of being given, and even think that they are inferior when they grow up.
Human beings are also animals in nature, since they are animals, there must be corresponding social norms, in the adult world, high status people can always give priority to enjoy various resources, and low status people can only be ranked behind, waiting for high status people to give him, although many people are reluctant to admit it, but this is the hidden rule of human society.
Casual people will never be valued by others, and when you are used to being given by others, your desire to pursue good things will gradually decline, and your self-worth will be greatly damaged.
Third, extreme inferiority induces excessive compensation psychology
If a person's extreme frugality as a child hurts his self-esteem, he is likely to have an over-compensatory mentality when he grows up, such as crazy consumption.
Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler proposed that everyone has a potential inferiority complex, and the existence of facing up to inferiority psychology gives people the motivation to pursue excellence, if people have been extremely inferior to a certain aspect, once he has the corresponding conditions and strength, he will put forward higher requirements for this aspect.
From this point of view, it is not a wise choice to let children wear other people's old clothes, and everyone must give children corresponding freedom according to the actual situation. At the same time, we must also teach children self-esteem and self-love, whether they often buy new clothes or are forced to wear other people's old clothes, everyone can pursue the life they want when they grow up.
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Author | Tommida
Edit | Wan'an
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).