Hello everyone, I'm Star Man.
In the process of parenting, do you encounter all kinds of situations that make you anxious to catch fire?
Obviously, he wants to be a soft-spoken parent who never uses force and corporal punishment to educate his children, but in the face of the child's repeated non-listening to advice and disobedience to discipline, he still can't contain the anger in his heart and pats the child's ass twice.
So, is it useful to punish children with traditional "spanking" methods? How can children be effectively educated without the use of force?
Understand your child's behavior before "punishing."
When the child makes a mistake and has a fire in his stomach, parents must first clarify two problems:
Do you want to punish your child for your mistakes or vent your emotions?
Can you do the right thing and not the right person, and don't go on the line to belittle and suppress the children?
Children make mistakes, and re-energizing must avoid these two points, so how to do it?
As a parent, first of all, we must clarify a basic truth:
Children often do not understand things, nor do they have to work against their parents, but they want to explore the world in their own way.
However, due to the child's limited cognition of things and the limited ability to deal with problems, after messing up, parents will blame the child for not understanding things and disobeying because the child's performance does not meet psychological expectations.
So, instead of thinking about how to "punish" the child, it is better to understand the child first. When you can calmly face your child's wrong behavior, you will find that educating your child will be more comfortable.
How to properly "punish" a child
First of all, you must not physically punish children!
For "corporal punishment", many parents know that it is not good, but they still hold the idea of "not hitting the child when necessary and not remembering sex for a long time".
The purpose of punishment is to make the child realize the mistake and correct the mistake, so corporal punishment will promote the grievance and resistance in the child's heart, and cannot recognize what is right and what is wrong.
Therefore, laying out the facts and being reasonable must be the most effective and useful way to punish.
When your child tears up a new book they just bought, don't just tell your child, "Don't tear up the book!" Otherwise you'll glue the book for me yourself! ”。
Try using induced exhortation, the effect will be more immediate, for example, tell the child: "Don't tear the book, or you will glue the book yourself." If the book is torn up, you can't read it, so how can your mother read you a picture book at night? ”
When the language of discipline is full of parental care and love for the child, the child will consider your emotions and his own behavior, and become more aware of his mistakes.
If the child still does not correct, you may wish to try the "Time-out" method, which is very popular in European and American countries.
It is to give the child a certain amount of time alone when he makes a mistake or is emotionally confused, so that he can get away from the out-of-control environment and quickly calm down.
When the child calms down, he will reflect on his own behavior. At this time, parents' education and guidance will be more effective.
"Punishing" children who have made mistakes must be more important than spiritual guidance, so that children themselves are aware of the possible consequences of their actions.
Therefore, please parents who cannot control their emotions, put down their raised hands, and give themselves and children more time and space to calm down.
Xiaoxia believes that reasonable "punishment" will definitely bring correct guidance to every child's life path.
Scientific parenting
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