In the hearts of parents, whether children are good or bad can be judged by whether they are well-behaved and sensible. It seems that as long as you are well-behaved and sensible enough, you are a good child, and the future can be immeasurable. In the adult world, obedience is the best compliment to children.
As everyone knows, those children who are well-behaved and sensible in the eyes of adults are only appearances. When I was a child, I was well-behaved, maybe just to please adults. When you grow up, you will know that being well-behaved, obedient, and sensible is the "label" that has the deepest impact on children.
In the future, they will become mediocre because of these seemingly good habits. Because children who understand things when they are young will become particularly ignorant when they grow up. It will even cause parents a lot of trouble, which is completely beyond the imagination of adults.
To put it simply: those obedient children are suppressing their own thoughts and are more likely to have problems when they grow up.
Admittedly, these children are a little smart, they know what their parents like, so they try their best to behave and please. The purpose is to get the praise of parents, and then get the rewards that should be given to satisfy their own selfishness. Imagine that even your own ideas can be wronged, and over time, psychological problems will inevitably occur.
What are the bad effects of being too obedient and sensible?
1, do not dare to express emotions
Maybe it's to please your parents, maybe you're afraid of your parents, maybe... In short, whatever the reason for becoming obedient is not a good thing for the child. They dare not express their emotions, and the relationship with their parents is not as harmonious as imagined.
Emotions are held in the heart, and sooner or later there will be problems. Long-term repression, not only insecurity, but also in the future of the overall development is not conducive.
2, do not dare to innovate and performance
In the hearts of these well-behaved children, the demands and commands of their parents are, to them, the holy will, and only the part that is obeyed and fulfilled. Accustomed to listening to the opinions of parents, children naturally do not have the ability to innovate, not even the basic ability to express, and are accustomed to resignation.
You know, many parents have old ideas and always feel that they are good for their children. But they do not know that these old concepts will affect and limit the development of children, especially on their vision and pattern.
All in all, children's obedience is not a good phenomenon, and it can even leave them without a purpose in life. Accustomed to "doing as you please", always living under the protection of their parents, even if it is a wrong command, they will not hesitate to do it. I would like to ask: I don't even know my life goals and directions, how can I reap success?
It is no exaggeration to say that the obedience and well-behavedness of children are the manifestations of the failure of parents' education. It may even become a flattering personality.
I don't know how to resist, I don't have ego, and I don't even dare to express my child's anger. They can only hide their true selves, hide all their emotions and unhappiness in their hearts, and try to exchange their parents' happiness and praise by wronging themselves. Just want to say, what is the significance of such education?
Not wanting to make children too well-behaved, parents should stay away from these methods when educating
1. Too much interference
Remember: No matter how many children you have, please don't interfere in their lives in the name of "love". You can understand the worries of parents, but everything should pay attention to boundaries, especially the child's growth process, and should let them try.
Parents think that taking fewer detours is the love for their children, but they do not know that all experience is accumulated through these detours. Too much interference will make children lose the opportunity to think actively and be independent. It's not scary to make mistakes, it's not scary to wrestle, it's not scary to have a chance.
2, too strong
Parents have different personalities and ways of doing things, but a strong attitude is the most taboo. If parents are too strong in education and life, the children who are cultivated will be particularly timid and cowardly. Even if they behave particularly well-behaved and sensible, I believe it is only a delaying strategy.
In the child's mind, he must have imagined countless reasons and ways of resistance, and perhaps they are being implemented. It won't be long before they teach their parents a lesson with practical actions. At that time, it may not be as simple as quarrels, but also family wars.
3, too much expectation
I want to make my children's future more possible, and I want them to become better people. Parents have such an idea, in principle, there is nothing wrong with it, who does not want children to become jackie chan? However, we must combine it with the actual situation and never make excessive demands.
Many times, the demands on children are too high, which is not a good thing. Because of the parents' requirements, it will become a pressure to bind the children, which will make them breathless and desperately want to escape. In the end, it will definitely affect the parent-child relationship and even the future of the child.
Write at the end: At no time should children be measured by being well-behaved and obedient. There are infinite possibilities in life, not only obedience is right, I hope that parents can adjust their mentality.