- 01 -
Cold violence became commonplace
Give the gentle, easy-going side to outsiders, leaving a cold, stubborn side to the lover who is in love with each other; What a sad contrast it is that the space is incomparably close, but the spiritual distance is incomparably far away, and it is obvious that they are sleeping together, but they are the most distant strangers.
There may still be a desire for love and care in the heart, but no one can open that mouth. The days are getting older and older, the feelings are gradually addicted, the big noise has not solved the problem, and after good communication, it is found that the three views are incompatible, and it is even more disappointed.
In the end, it can only be cold war, day after day, January and again, unconsciously may have been a long time has not spoken well, gambling on life, no one obeys anyone!
There is no form of marriage, but no content of marriage. How many marriages are experiencing such tragedies?
- 05 -
While making a divorce, he gave birth to a second child
What is even more ridiculous and sad than the fact that they want to leave is that while they want to divorce, they are busy having a second child!
There are many such examples around, not long ago I heard her husband have a woman outside, the two people quarreled, under the persuasion of their parents, they did not leave for the time being, but after the quarrel, they separated, each day, she did not ask him anything outside, he, or will give the child living expenses, from time to time to see her and the child.
But within a year, you saw her with a big belly and an expression on her face and said, "I'm going to have a second child."
What kind of logic this is, many times I can't explain, but after reading more, I am relieved.
Although we are choosing to escape and resist, we still do not have the courage to step out of this stable emotional ruin.
● The third step is to learn to suspend the vicious circle that was once there
But in fact, the solidified pattern that many of us have formed for years or even decades is difficult to control through our own will, even if we know how to deal with relationships in our thinking, it is difficult to do it in action.
The process is very difficult, so the process of trying is a process of self-training, but also a feedback and test of your previous growth and the evaluation of the other party.
● The fourth step is to accept feedback and make adjustments in a timely manner
If previous efforts – whether it's the improvement of all aspects of oneself or the re-acquaintance of the other person – these changes should continue if they are valid for their current lives; If there is no effect, it depends on whether it has not been done, why it cannot be done, how to do it, whether there is a problem with the direction and needs to be adjusted.
In the process of continuous thinking and adjustment, reflect and sort out on yourself and each other until you find a relatively balanced point and make yourself and the other party relatively comfortable.
When the conflict pattern of two people stops, they can make the next understanding and attempt, so that they can get closer to each other little by little.
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