Don't lead your child into a victim!
Whether the child has been "bullied" is a question that many parents are concerned about, if the parents always can't help but ask: "Did you fight with the children today?" "Did anyone bully you today?" The child will struggle to look back at this day who bullied him, and when he is unhappy, it is equivalent to waking the child to pay attention to bad things.
In order to meet the needs of parents, children will recount the unpleasant experiences of the day to their parents every day like completing homework. Its direct consequence is that the child goes to the class every day to pay attention to and look for those who may "bully" him, and the child's fearful and frightened eyes will arouse other children to think of hitting him, forming the so-called law of attraction.
Once such a vicious circle is created, the child will really become a "victim", in this case, the child is not only unwilling to go to kindergarten, and may even have social fear, behavior withdrawal and other consequences, which will have far-reaching negative consequences for the child's life.
Kids "fighting" is not so scary!
Children are called children because they are immature, and immaturity can lead to a lot of behavior that we adults can't understand. We may see these behaviors as problems, such as children's interactions, when one party's language maturity is not enough to express themselves, and they do not know how to solve their conflict with others, they will take the most primitive and direct method, that is, to hit or push.
In fact, in the process of growing up, even if the child really "fights", for the child, it is a good opportunity to recognize others and recognize the consequences of their own actions! This is a natural phenomenon in the development of children. When this natural phenomenon occurs, the attitude of parents is crucial!
As educators, we must pay attention to awakening children to discover things that have positive significance for growth, and avoid children from paying attention to things that are not valuable to growth.
Comparison of problems when picking up a child
A common question for Chinese parents when picking up their children home:
1. What did you eat in kindergarten today?
2. What did you learn today?
3. Is someone bullying you?
4. Did the teacher assign homework today?
Common questions asked by foreign parents when picking up their children home:
1. Are you happy today?
2. Is there anything interesting about today?
3. Do you have any works?
4. Are you happy today?
Different questions reflect different educational concepts and methods, and also guide the value orientation of children throughout their lives.
What to ask actually reflects the adult's attitude towards life, determines the child's outlook on life, and will guide the child in a positive or negative direction.
When we pay more attention to the child's life situation and learning situation, the child will also pay more attention to his life process, material environment, learning results, etc., which is understandable, but it may make the child ignore the changes in their inner emotions and emotions, the establishment of interests, etc.
If we focus more on the child's emotional feelings, interests, abilities, and the child's own sense of success and interaction with partners. It is easier for children to have the desire to talk and the willingness to express, which will make children feel something about their own actions, and will yearn for and look forward to tomorrow's kindergarten life.
Parents try these questions
What interesting things happened today?
Are you happy today?
What fun games did you play with your kids?
Who are your best friends? What are his strengths?
Tell your mom something you think is particularly fun today!
The message that parents pass on to their children: no matter what difficulties we encounter, we must be brave and optimistic; unhappiness is a part of life, accept the imperfections of life, and pay attention to the things we deserve attention to, we can be happy. Children always have the beauty of going to school in their minds, and children naturally love to go to school.
In addition to this, the details of picking up the children after school are also important
Don't take your child out of school with toys, snacks, drinks, etc., and don't take your child's small school bag with you. Because the teacher tried every means to make the child small and adult in the kindergarten, as soon as he left the school, he became a "little baby", and the teacher's hard work was lost. Seeing the child do not forget to give a hug, hugging will not only make the child forget all the unpleasantness, but also let the child know that although I have been separated from my mother for a day, my mother still loves me.
Mom and Dad personally pick up their children from school at least once a week
For children, parents are always the most important role in the growth of children, if the child is usually picked up by the elderly, please be the best time for father or mother to pick up once a week. Because such a move seems insignificant, it is of great significance to the child - parents are usually busy, so most of them are picked up by grandma or grandpa, but as long as parents have time, they will always come to pick me up! Such a move is attention for the child, that is, love.
A mother in the circle of friends recently recorded her occasional pick-up of her child from school: when the child saw me outside the door, her eyes glowed strangely, and she raised her head and proudly said to the teacher: "You see, my mother came to pick me up today!" Walking out of the door to see the familiar little classmates, I couldn't help but say: "I am also my mother to pick me up from school today..." That kind of joy and satisfaction makes this mother's hundred feelings mixed. She began to question whether she was a conscientious mother.
What if your child says he doesn't want to go to school?
First of all, ask why the child does not want to go to school, generally speaking, just go to kindergarten or go to school after a long time off, the child will resist going to school, which is related to the child's separation anxiety. In this case, parents do not reprimand and scold, it can be said that the mother knows that our baby does not want to go to school, and my mother did not want to go to school when she was a child, but everyone has to go to school, just like the mother must go to work, which is everyone's responsibility. Let your child know that going to school is a responsibility. But if the child really does not want to go on, you can appropriately take a break when the child takes a break and adjusts his mood before going up.
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