Author: Yuzi.
Source: Evolutionary Theory of Second-Child Mothers (ID: woyaoshengertai)
Today in the second child group and everyone spit silly son.
Several of the group members said happily:
"Ah, it turns out that it's not just my family (boys)!"
Haha, isn't it?
Spit on the boys, the common language of the mothers is as vast as the ocean!
Let's talk about one more thing before.
A mother came to me with trepidation, her child was about to go to elementary school, a boy, born in August.
The age of the child's school enrollment is demarcated on August 31, which means that the child must be the smallest in the class after entering school.
How lucky to others! Stuck with an age limit, you don't have to study for an extra year.
But in her mother's view, the anxiety is far more than the sense of luck, and she frowns and pours out her worries:
"So small, what if you can't keep up?"
"I know a few children who went to school together, and others seem to be very sensible, but my family is kindergarten at first glance!"
"The boy is more mischievous, and after entering school, he can't keep up, and I am worried about his self-confidence..."
Listening to my mother's words, I understood that every inch of her anxiety.
Because my child is also such a "small" child.
Picture and text | Yuzi
My child is also a child who is on the younger side of school.
When I got the class roster, I took a special look at the birthdays of the children, the class of 44 children, my family is the fifth to last age.
My friend kindly reminded me: "The school age is young, you have to learn pinyin and Chinese characters for him in advance, or you can't keep up with the school!" ”
I smiled and didn't take it seriously.
When I enrolled myself, I was more than a year younger than others, so I didn't delay anything.
The only "deficiency" in my impression was that everyone else had learned broadcast gymnastics in preschool, and I could only follow the blind comparison, not knowing what the next action was.
This "inadequacy" will not affect the overall situation, right?
I think.
But when the new students entered, I found out that I was wrong!
The first test of admission is writing.
My baby is not only small, but also quite clumsy.
When most children can write their names in neat, fluent handwriting, my family awkwardly begins to hold the pen, and the crooked and oblique name occupies as much as half a page.
There was a name writing contest in the class to encourage the children to write their own names.
As a result, my baby's work was "extraordinary" completed by my grandmother holding her hand.
The next challenge is to write homework.
The school has reduced its burden, the homework is really too small to be good, one page, the amount of writing per day, at best, only twenty or thirty words.
But just these dozens of words are difficult for my "primary" students.
He wrote left, wrong.
Right write, write crooked.
Several times, I couldn't stand the trouble of writing homework, and went downstairs to run... But every time, I met my child's classmates, who had already completed their homework and were riding bicycles downstairs!
Watching other people's children ride bicycles, free as flying, my heart, funny and angry
- Ah, the difference between my baby and others is like riding a bicycle!
On the one hand, the auxiliary wheel has long been removed, riding independently, and speeding forward
On the other side, but it is still inseparable from the auxiliary wheel, no matter how hard it is to ride, it is also full of resistance and slow forward...
The best and most prominent students in the class are all older.
And what about the youngest kids in those grades?
I could almost recognize it at a glance
- Hey, the little one who shook his head and didn't listen to the lesson
---------------------------------------------------------
- Cough, and the one who talks to himself, the one who smirks
They are all "little" students in the class.
Of course, it is not small, it must be the tail of the crane.
There are also a few who are very smart... Unfortunately, it's not my family's.
So, I couldn't help but be anxious!
Why do others only take a moment to write homework, but you have to spend two hours?
Why do other people write neatly, but you are sloppy?
Why?
Why?
……
As you can imagine, my children and I have clashed again and again!
Under my persecution, he struggled to catch up, but his small body always failed to reach the front, and he lost...
Once, I was writing my homework slowly again.
I crossed my hands and glared at me, and the child turned his head to see my eyes and blurted out:
"I don't like writing homework!"
"I don't like you as a mother!"
"You..." I hated it so much that I itched my teeth, but I desperately endured and didn't say the words "I don't like you either."
Between us, we were caught up in a cold war-like confrontation, and he looked at me with hatred, and the tears in his eyes kept pouring in... Finally, the tears broke through the limits of his eyes, like a waterfall, and suddenly leaned on his face!
The teardrops of the round toot slid over the face of the round toot.
Snap!
Dripping on his crooked pencil words...
"Mom, I don't like to write homework."
"Mom, I don't like school."
The child was chattering, like Xiang Lin's sister-in-law.
I looked at him... Boy, how you feel at this moment, is it... suffering!
Suddenly, a voice sounded behind my ears.
It was my aunt who was a guest at my house for a short time.
"Yuzi, he's only six years old."
"If you think about him growing up, he's only six years old after all."
I turned my head, and my aunt looked calm: "Child, after all, it is a child." ”
……
Children, after all, children?
Yeah, I asked so many "why can't you", why didn't I ask, "Why can he"?
Children, after all, are children!
He has his own growth rules, growth characteristics, in each age, he gained some new skills, reached some new milestones, but this does not mean that he can become an adult overnight, reach the milestones that all adults expect!
"Why, you can't do it?"
I asked my child this question repeatedly.
But the reality is, if you can't do it, you can't do it.
It's not that children can't do it, but adults, why can't they understand children?
The growth we look forward to is smooth and upward.
But the actual growth is likely to be a twist and turn, a curve forward!
The truth about growing up is just two things:
First, phase:
Growth never happens overnight.
It's just going from one stage to the next.
Each stage has different characteristics, which are difficult to reverse and difficult to pull up seedlings.
Second, cumulative:
Growth is from quantitative change to qualitative change.
We are just growing, accumulating, day after day, in the passage of time...
I, too obsessed with the "smallness" of my child, will forget
——No matter how old a child is, he has also been small, and no matter how small a child is, he will grow up day by day!
Children, after all, are children.
He needs time to learn to climb, to walk, to learn to speak, and he needs time, from his teeth to his mouth to carrying a school bag. Every stage of his growth is insurmountable, and every step of his growth takes time
Long Yingtai wrote one thing in "Children You Take Your Time".
She was buying flowers at the flower shop, and a little boy tied a bow to the flowers, moving too slowly and being urged by his grandmother.
And Long Yingtai wrote:
"I, sitting on the stone steps illuminated by the slanting sun, looked at this child with clear eyes and concentrated on doing something."
"Yes, I'm willing to wait a lifetime for him to tie this bow with ease." With his five-year-old fingers. ”
"Boy, take your time, take your time."
……
I, too, should take my time.
We should all take our time.
Slow down, my elementary school students, but it became faster.
By the second semester of the first grade, he was writing much faster.
It doesn't take as much time to do your homework.
He spends a lot of time researching things that interest him.
history.
science.
mathematics.
He was still stupid, far from smart enough.
He was still slow, far inferior to others.
But he stopped crying and said he didn't like school, he didn't like school.
Because he "didn't like the mother", he liked it again.
Instead of being asked, "Why don't you?", I will help him figure out why I did it wrong and how I got it right?
Slowly, it doesn't matter.
As long as we keep moving forward slowly, we will always reach farther places!
So, I'm telling my friends the truth.
If you have a "little" student, or a "slow" child.
Then your worries may all come true.
But your worries are not necessarily so terrible!
Because growth is not to lead at the beginning, but to keep moving forward.
Please respect his "slowness" and don't urge him to go beyond his age.
Please take care of his "small" and don't urge him to grow up overnight.
Take a walk with him slowly.
You'll see:
"Small" will grow up.
"Slow" will also go far.