In the process of educating children, parents sometimes feel anxious, because children will always have some "problems", such as clothes to reach out and open their mouths, parents provide a favorable environment for their children, but also let the children lose their autonomy. Why?
Parents give their children too superior a growth environment, but there is not enough emotional care, parents are too busy, there is no time to take care of the child, or the child is very young to be fostered in the grandparents' home, resulting in the child is always worried that the parents will leave themselves, the mood is more unstable than the average child, insecure, will be more emotionally dependent on the parents, trying to get more attention from the parents in this way.
Parents themselves are too emotionally dependent on their children. Some parents are accustomed to serving their children, and when the child is spoiled in this way, she will be particularly dependent in front of the parents who love her, and show independence in front of others.
Children's affairs are decided by their parents, and over time, they deprive children of the ability to think independently, making dependence a habit.
Parents take the place of their children to bear all the consequences of the problem. Children who cause trouble and stab the basket should be borne by themselves, which can enable children to establish a sense of responsibility and exercise the ability to overcome suffering independently.
We have learned the reasons behind the child's excessive dependence, how can we let the child exercise his autonomy and no longer rely on the parents for everything? Here are a few suggestions for you.
Parents should recognize the child's independent personality. Usually communicate effectively with the child, let the child fully express his thoughts and feelings; let the child do what he likes and does not violate the principle, so that he can fully display his ability. In the course of these activities, let the child gradually realize that he is a person with independent thinking and independent ability.
Don't say to your child, "It's all mommy (daddy)" and things like that. Parents may think that doing so will make the relationship between parents and children harmonious, but in fact, it is easy to form a relationship that is both dependent and antagonistic between parents and children. Parents please their children and lower themselves to the level of children, but make children disrespect their parents in their hearts, forming a parent-child relationship of relying on their parents in everything and rebelling against their parents in everything.
When the child completes the task, he may say that I will not, and the parents should not immediately play their own authoritative guidance image at this time, tell the child how this should be, how it should be, and the child will have a dependence psychology. The correct approach is to let the child patiently complete it independently, and when it is really not possible, the parents briefly mention the idea and direction, and let the child find ideas or solutions in turn.
Don't worry about the child not doing well, the child needs to exercise, need time to grow, as far as possible to let the child do what he can, the child will become more and more self-reliant.