When a friend chatted a while ago, he said that he had a high school classmate, and later married a good man, but because he did not give birth to a son after marriage, he was repeatedly disliked by the in-laws, and finally even took her husband to see her, ending in divorce.
This friend said with a sigh that her classmate was once a popular girl in school. After graduation, I also found a good job, and I was so spirited once, but after the divorce, the whole person suddenly fell into a trough, the state was very bad, and the job was lost.
And everything, in the final analysis, is caused by the feudal idea of preferring sons to daughters.
Now, especially some elderly people, pay special attention to the preference for sons and daughters, believing that future generations must have a boy, so that their families can continue.
But there are also some people who believe that human life is only a few decades long, after you die, everything about you will be erased, you will not exist in this world, then what family, what continuation, and what is the meaning of yourself?
There is a category of women who are very pitiful, and after they get married, they are burdened with the mission of having a son. If the first child is a boy who is naturally happy, life in the in-laws' family will be much smoother, but if there is no way to give birth to a boy in succession, then his status will also decline repeatedly, and even the husband will stand on the side of the in-laws, and in turn accuse himself of being useless.
Such things are rare in today's era, but they are real. I recently heard that a reader had a similar experience, and after she shared her past with me, she also hoped to be able to use this to remind the vast number of women, whether boys or girls, they are your treasures in this world. In any case, you must protect your children, and at the same time, you must also make sure that you can take on the responsibilities of a mother, and then choose your children, so that you can support a warm and warm home for your baby.
1. "The second child is still a daughter, and the mother-in-law scolds me for no use"
When her daughter was two years old, Si Ran became pregnant again.
She didn't want this child very much, because her career was just in the ascendancy, and her husband and mother-in-law stopped her after learning about it. Their reasons are simple and unified, that is, they want a boy.
The husband said more euphemistically, he said, you know, I am not the kind of person who prefers sons to daughters, but I just hope to have both children. You have another boy, and it's good for them to play together and grow up together.
The mother-in-law was very direct: "If your first child is a male baby, it doesn't matter, it is a female baby." This time I am pregnant again, it must be a gift from God, how can I not give birth? In case this time it is beaten, it turns out to be a male doll, and I don't regret dying. ”
Later, after careful consideration, Si Ran decided to keep the child. She herself did not have much attachment to the gender of the child, but she still did not want her husband to be disappointed, so she secretly thought in her heart, hoping that this time she could be a boy, and her task would be completed.
Pregnant in October, Si Ran finally gave birth to the baby in her belly. This time it was a girl again, and her husband's face was ugly after she knew it, but she still barely squeezed out a smile to comfort SiRan, saying that it didn't matter, boys and girls are fine, I like it.
After the mother-in-law knew, she came directly to the hospital, and scolded Si Ran, who was still on the hospital bed: "How can you have two consecutive litters as a girl, you are too useless." Half the probability, how can it be so unlucky? ”
Not caring about the physical pain, Si Ranqiang endured and replied to his mother-in-law: "How can it be called unlucky?" Boys and girls are your children, and they are my children. Whether he's male or female, I'll love him. ”
The mother-in-law snorted, turned her head and left, leaving only one sentence: "Yes, anyway, they are all your children, then you can raise them." Don't expect me to help unless you give me a big grandchild. ”
"I will not give birth to a third child, because I have no money, and I will not let my children suffer together."
Si Ran is also a very tough personality, no matter how hard it is for a person to bring two children, she has gritted her teeth and endured it, and has never sought help from her mother-in-law. In the following year or two, the mother-in-law really rarely came to visit these two granddaughters, which made Si Ran angry and disappointed for her mother-in-law.
Time passed quickly, and in the blink of an eye, the eldest went to kindergarten, and the second was two and a half years old. On this day, my husband came home from work and said to SiRan with embarrassment: My mother called me, let me discuss with you, and ask for another one.
She said that now the eldest is in kindergarten, and the second is slowly growing up. Now if you want another child, the age difference between the three children is just right. My mom said that she only asked for this last time, and if this time she was still a daughter, she wouldn't force you. ”
Si Ran directly refused: "Don't think about it, it's impossible." Having a second child is already a concession I made for you, or let me have a third child? It's a joke. ”
Her husband did not understand her resolute response: "Now that the country has opened up three children, why don't you still want to have children?" My mom also promised that this time, whether it is a boy or a girl, she will help you take care of the child together, and you will not have too much pressure. ”
Si Ran sneered, "To tell you the truth, I can't believe anything your mother says to me now." Who knows if she'll turn around and leave like last time after I gave birth to a girl? Anyway, I've already given birth to a child by then, and whatever your mother does to me, I'll have to endure it.
"And I didn't say I wasn't angry, it was purely because the two of us didn't have any money." If you think about it, our combined salaries are only in the early 10,000s a month, and raising two children is already stretched enough. Picking the kindergarten for the boss is also picking the cheapest one for her to go, and I already feel ashamed of the child.
"Can it be the same now as it was in the past?" It is enough to eat and wear warm after giving birth to a child, and it is very expensive to raise a child now. What's more, if you really fulfill your family's wishes and give birth to a boy, are you not allowed to prepare a house and a car for him, so that he can marry a good daughter-in-law in the future. Can I really say that I am born and that I am nurtured? ”
Third, after determining that you have the ability to give your child a future, then go to this little life
Si Ran's words were indeed reasonable, and her husband also sided with his wife this time, turning to persuade his mother. After many negotiations between the two parties, the mother-in-law finally reluctantly agreed to their decision not to have three children.
Si Ran has a saying that is very correct, in today's era, raising a child is not as simple as eating and wearing warm, it can be solved.
Now there is a saying that is very realistic and cruel: the cold door is no longer difficult to get a noble son. People with better economic conditions, children will win at the starting line from birth, they have better educational resources, they can have money to hire famous teachers, to learn higher quality courses, how can these children of poor families work a little harder to catch up.
As parents, our abilities are ultimately limited, but we must also make sure that we have the ability to shape a future for our children before preparing for this little life. Instead of being casual and being born when you want to. Know that one of your decisions will affect their entire lives.
So after you have the ability to give your children enough love and future, and then welcome them into this world, so that as a parent, it is not a dereliction of duty.