On Weibo, Ma Yili appealed bitterly: "Please don't use the police to scare children anymore!"
It turned out that a girl in Ningbo was lost, the police rushed to help, and the child cried and shouted: "Uncle police don't arrest me!" "
It seems that this is another child who is scared by the phrase "the police will come and arrest you if you don't eat".
In addition to this, parents often use to scare their children, and there are also things such as "If you don't behave anymore, I'll let the doctor give you an injection!" "You don't want to study well, and you'll pick up trash later!" "If you don't sleep anymore, we won't want you!" Such words.
I understand that the reason why parents say this is that they want their children to obey and quickly do something well, but they rarely think about what a frightened child will look like!
To scare is to discourage a child's curiosity
Watson, the father of American psychology, once did an experiment.
He found Albert, an 11-month-old boy, and in order to make Albert afraid of mice, he deliberately frightened him with hammers and steel bars when the child touched the mice.
Soon, little Albert was no longer afraid of mice, but became crying when he saw them.
Later, he even began to fear rabbits, fur coats, dogs, and santa masks and all the hairy things.
The experiment is indeed cruel, but it also shows that the unconscious intimidation of children by adults may have a longer-term effect on children.
The younger the child, his perception of security stems entirely from interactions with important nurturers, including the sounds he hears, what he sees, and what he experiences.
But if a parent or other nurturer gives him the message that something is terrible, he will gradually develop a fear of similar things.
For example, a friend, when he was a child, his parents told him that flying at a high altitude is very dangerous, can not sit, and even take some pictures of the crash of the plane to show him, so that he has a fear of the plane, no matter how far away, no matter how troublesome, he is not willing to take the plane, nor allow his family to sit.
Excessively scaring children, in fact, in a way, is to prevent children from exploring, trying new things, children's lives, and therefore lack a lot of fun.
The essence of intimidation is the refusal to make mistakes
An adolescent girl and dad said, "I'm pregnant."
Dad was nervous, but he desperately tried to control his emotions, and then told his daughter that he was sorry to hear the news, but it had happened and what needed him to do?
The girl was very touched and told her father that it was not herself who was pregnant, but her good friend.
But when a good friend told her parents the news of the pregnancy, the parents thundered, accusing their daughter of not having a face, and saying that she would be ridiculed for the rest of her life and did not show up!
So, her good friend chose the most tragic way, ended his life, and jumped from the 22nd floor...
Originally, when a person encounters something that makes him afraid, he will ask his relatives or people who feel reliable for help at the first time, but if his parents not only do not help him at this time, but scare him and deepen this fear, it will push the child to another abyss.
Shakespeare once said that the best good is to make mistakes. Making mistakes is an indispensable experience on the road to growth, especially children, and scare, seemingly to avoid children from making mistakes, is actually forcing children to make bigger mistakes.
If they are frightened for a long time, the child may also turn around and become a scaremonger
There is a child, especially like to use force to solve problems, can not get their favorite toys to grab, others do not play with their own hits, which makes the child's mother very distressed.
Later, by chance, she overheard the conversation between the child and the grandmother and understood why the child was like this.
The child was playing with the children in the community and was gently pushed by a child. After going home, he told grandma that he had been pushed by the child, and grandma angrily scolded him, how can you be useless, others beat you, you have to fight back, otherwise you can only be bullied later.
Grandma's original purpose was to keep the child from being bullied, but this kind of intimidation + accusation indoctrination will make the child feel that if he wants not to be bullied, he must use force to solve everything, thus becoming another intimidator.
It is undeniable that when children do not cooperate, parents really have a headache. But threatening children with scares does far more harm than good.