Recently brushed Weibo to brush a topic called: when scolding children, children will only answer "yes, it doesn't matter, I am garbage", will not fiercely refute, which reflects what kind of psychology of children?
In fact, when I first saw this topic, I saw it on the knowledge, and the meaning of the original post was also very clear, that is, in the current information age, many children received more information, and he prematurely realized that he was just an ordinary person, so he lay flat.
However, the parents did not want the children to lie flat, so a big war arose between the parents and the children.
In the original post, these children would even say, "Reincarnated into such a family, in fact, I have already lost", "You are my starting line, what position do you think this line is?" To refute their parents, there are even children who can clearly say the words "across classes" and "era dividends".
I believe that many parents may also understand the word "class" after they come out to work in their twenties and thirties, and what it really means.
There was a saying at the time that 5% of the world's wealth is in the hands of 95% of the people, and 95% of the wealth is in the hands of 5% of the people, and that 5% is the tip of the world, and we are just ordinary people.
So, can a good study really cross the class? Being admitted to a good university can become a superior person and get rid of the ordinary and poor life that is now.
In fact, the point of my attention is more that this is a teenager, scolding him for not learning well, scolding him for being stingy, and the child will not even refute it, but will only say, "I am garbage." It can only be said that this parent usually blames the child for not learning well, and blames the child for the way he behaves for people.
The vast majority of the way to cultivate a child to deal with people comes from the parents themselves, and many netizens say that the current children are not good, in the end, they have not suffered the hardships of life, so they will be rotten.
So what is a pendulum?
To mess up is to let this bad thing go on and on, and not to do anything to make up for it.
Yes, for the education of parents now, I will talk about a topic that I said a long time ago, that is, today's children do not have "child rights", what is "child rights", "child rights" is the rights of children themselves.
Today's children are not entitled to be angry, not entitled to vent, not entitled to do what they love to do. All parents will tell you to "become an adult first, then become a talent", "have a good character, and then study hard, improve every day, and get rid of this situation".
But many children from the starting line, in fact, has opened a big gap.
A long time ago, the Extreme Challenge team did an experiment in a school.
They had all the children stand at this end of the playground and then run across the finish line of the lab building. The subjects of the experiment are divided into six types: your parents are all undergraduates or above, take a step forward; your parents have promised you to let you take a step forward in studying abroad; any hobby you have other than studying, a step forward that you have persevered to this day and achieved, and so on, until finally, these six questions have divided the child into 369 and so on.
The child standing at the front has advanced more than six meters compared to the child standing at the back.
So a lot of times the question about the starting line is very vague. As the child says, the world itself is hierarchical.
Many parents will say: "That child does not seek to be motivated, can not manage, can not say, let him go on like this?" What's up! ”
However, most children, the reason why he "messes" is actually very simple, he just does not want his parents to use these topics to discipline him. He didn't want to watch TV when his parents suddenly said: "You watch TV again, don't study well, then you can't get into college, and you won't be able to get out of school for a lifetime!" He didn't want to play with other children when his parents said, "If you play outside like this again, you won't be able to go to college!" After that long time, the child will feel that if you can't pass the exam, you can't pass the exam, and you will start to "mess up": "Then since you say so, I can't get into anything, so since this society is like this now, then why should I study hard?" I simply don't study! ”
So this brings us to another topic, that is, parents must encourage their children to a certain extent, and then respect the child's "child rights".
Take this topic, for example.
The child said, "Mom, I told you that our teacher asked me to participate in a competition and I won the prize!" ”
Parents said: "A prize will make you go to heaven, you see who is next door who is who..."
Later, children are not willing to communicate too much with their parents, in fact, these things are all of a nature, they are all interconnected, and their final result is also mutual communication.
In the process of educating children, parents must also discipline their words and deeds.
It's like a poster among female psychologists: I don't have a goal, I don't have a dream, I don't know what I like, because now parents meddle too much in their children's choices, resulting in children not knowing what they want at all!
There is a classic line in this TV series: the love of parents also needs to know how to let go, blindly strong and "inner volume" will only ruin the future of children, we have worked hard for most of our lives, and finally just to be a happy and happy ordinary person, living a peaceful and smooth life.
This society is very terrible, parents do not need "exams", having children is like opening a blind box, children do not know what their parents are, they have no right to choose, but when they are born, whether they are good or bad, whether they are poor or rich, this life has been determined.
Just like the pianist Jiang Jing, who used "binge eating" to rebel against her mother among female psychologists, she also loved her mother, but she could not accept the mother who was extremely controlling after her father left, she resisted with behaviors such as "overeating" and "wearing suspenders", just like the child who said that she was a waste, they were rebelling against this kind of education, and parents often felt that as long as they "pulled out" these "thorns" on their bodies, the children would "obey", and they did not know that the "bottom rebound" was only a moment.
Therefore, parents still calm their minds, find out what their children want, and then prescribe the right medicine! Being able to accept the ordinariness of one's own parents, then accept one's own ordinariness, and finally accept one's own children's ordinariness, may be the highest state of education.