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The 2-way car was delayed, and this article came a little late, but it did not affect its practicality.
Life and death is an eternal topic! If the end of life is death, then from birth, we are born to death. Qingming Festival is a traditional Chinese festival and a day to worship ancestors. On such a day, how to face the child's "life and death questions"?
The horrors of childhood
When I was in about the second grade of elementary school, my fear of death reached its peak because my great uncle died of a sudden heart attack that year. I still remember the night that made my hair stand upside down: at two o'clock in the morning, a rapid knock on the door woke the family from sleep, after my father opened the door, there was no quarrel, I knew that it was not the "bad guy" who came, and the nervous heart relaxed. As I lay groggy and ready to go back to sleep, my father's muffled cry, and the voice that said, "Brother! "Cutting through the silence of the night, I was also in good spirits.
When I woke up in the morning, I couldn't see my parents, and my grandmother rushed over to take care of my living, and I vaguely guessed the result, but no one ever mentioned it to me. At night, I dreamed that my uncle's two ribs had grown something like a sheep's horn, and I was lying there laughing and trying to say something to me...
The next day I told my classmates about my dreams, and they helped me analyze them. A boy who was one year older told everyone with great color: "That's a dream, I don't understand this!" My grandfather gave me a dream! In shock on everyone's faces, he staggered away.
No one explained to me what was going on! Having just slept in a separate room with my parents, I was tormented by the fear of death for several years, and every night before going to bed, I slept in a daze of all kinds of wild thoughts.
Children's understanding of life
There is an indisputable fact that children begin to understand death from the age of four, and whether you bring it up or not will not stop children from self-exploration. Of course, most of the results of exploration are negative, because the lack of positive and effective guidance exacerbates the child's fear of death.
The child will understand that death is an eternal state, and that man loses all sense of perception and disappears. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to guide them correctly. Avoiding this topic is tantamount to burying your head in the sand like an ostrich!
Life education contains the natural laws of life, old age, illness and death, correctly guide children to understand the meaning of life, and also help children to shape a correct view of time and activate the internal driving force.
Correctly guide 3 talk 3 do not talk
First of all, it is definitely wrong to avoid talking about this topic, the key is how to talk about it, what scale to talk about, this is something that parents can control and master.
1. 3 things parents can do
First, you can draw material from everyday life, such as: autumn leaves, withered plants on the side of the road, dead birds... These materials provided by nature can be materials that discuss the meaning of life. Let the child understand that there are such natural laws in nature, and human beings, as a member of nature, must also abide by the rules.
Second, knowledge can be passed on to children through picture books. For example: "Grandpa Became a Ghost", "Grandpa Didn't Wear a Suit", "Leaves Falling", "Badger's Gift" are all very good picture books. Among them, "Grandpa Became a Ghost" and "Badger's Gift" I bought for my son, which is very recommended.
Third, accepting your child's fears helps to dissolve your child's fears. Fear is a form of self-preservation engraved in our human genes. The feelings of the ancients in the face of dangerous scenes (such as snakes and large beasts) when hunting were instinctive manifestations of profit and avoidance of harm, and it was also a way of self-protection that human beings could continue. Therefore, when the child feels fear, it is much more useful to accept the child's fear emotions than to blame, refute, and reject.
2. 3 things that parents forbid sitting on
First, in the face of younger children; children with weak psychological endurance; children who have shown fear regardless of age, please do not force him to accept the natural law of birth, old age, illness and death, which will exacerbate the child's fear.
When my son was four years old, I drove him to pick up his wife and take him home, and on the way the child suddenly asked me: "Daddy, are you and Mom going to get old?" ”
"Well", I was passing through the congested section of the road, and did not dare to respond to him too much.
"Then you are too old, are you going to die?" The son continued to ask.
"Yes, this is the law of nature!" I replied casually.
My son began to cry bitterly at that time, crying and shouting: "I don't want you to be old, I don't want you to die, you have to wait for me to invent a medicine that can not be old..." I had to stop and start to soothe my son's emotions, I knew that my answer was too logical, too blunt, and lacked humanity.
For a long time thereafter, children maintained a high degree of fear and sensitivity to the issue of life and death. Watching the dance performance of "Chosin Lake" at the party, the son would ask, "They are actors, right Dad?" They're not really dead, they're acting, right, Daddy? "It's rare to ask similar questions now, but I know he still has fears, and this fear is within his tolerance, and it only occasionally appears."
Second, don't be tough on teaching your child with the finitude of life, and hope that he can cherish time. Because this idea is internalized, not from the preaching of parents, talking too much may numb the child or deepen the fear.
Third, don't avoid talking about the death of a loved one, you don't say it doesn't mean that the child really doesn't know. Tell your child truthfully about the death of a loved one, as well as your own feelings and expectations for your child. For example, my grandmother died, my mother was very uncomfortable, and I cherished the decades I spent with my grandmother. When I was a child....when I grew up,She..., I hope that our mother and son (daughter) can get along well.
Conclusion: Only by truly understanding the finiteness of life can children establish a sense of self-protection, a correct view of time, and activate the internal drive. However, the premise of all this is that parents are not shy, can communicate with their children generously, and use the right way to guide.