Do you usually yell at your own children? Remember what are the reasons you yelled at your child? Children are too playful to write homework? Or did the child not meet our requirements?
We have a neighbor whose roar when she educates her children alarms the whole floor. But is this way you educate your children really especially effective for them? In fact, every parent will encounter problems of one kind or another in the process of parenting, but yelling at the child loudly when encountering problems is really not the most effective solution, because you will find that the more you yell at the child, the more problems you will have.
Problem 1: It is easy to form a pathological psychology
Some children are yelled at by their parents for many years, so their emotions cannot relax at all, always in a state of tension, as long as the mother's eyes are slightly larger, she immediately becomes tight in the eyes and nervous in the body.
Such a child does not have to wait until adulthood to show a very cowardly personality, and is particularly willing to please others, to see the faces of others, even if on the outside, he has not done anything wrong, but when he has conflicts with others, he also feels that the problem is his own.
How can such a child's psychology be healthy? The psychological effects of such children in childhood will certainly affect their performance as adults.
For example, some people are always particularly negative, not sunny, not optimistic, not positive, in fact, this is when they were young, they were yelled out by their parents, accused by their parents, and denigrated by their parents. For example, some people who develop a depressed personality in adulthood are also a very bad type of people who have been yelled at by their parents for a long time in childhood.
I've also met people who have formed flattering personalities since childhood, who are obviously sad, but they laugh very happily. Obviously, they were very eager, but they did not dare to say something.
Obviously, they don't want to please, but they have to blindly snub others, nod their heads and waists, and have no self-esteem at all. This kind of person, he blindly wronged himself, but does not know how to protect his own interests, how can they be happy in the future?
Problem two, children are prone to rebellious psychology
The reason why parents yell at their children is that they actually use boys as a punching bag for their emotions. This behavior of yours really forms a pattern of imitation in the eyes of the child, and when the child is capable, he will also learn from your appearance, yell at you, and form a rebellious psychology. Some mothers will definitely have doubts when they see this, I can't yell at my children, so what should I do when my children are disobedient?
It is true that you want to enter the hearts of children, and you want to educate children in a bad way, which is indeed a science, and it does require the patience of parents. But as parents, we can't easily give up or adopt a method that we know we are wrong but still have to do because it is difficult to raise children.
We may wish to explore and understand the psychological laws of children and the reasons behind children's behavior through some books. After discovering and remembering the problem, we can solve the problem in a targeted manner to better help the child grow.
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