Interpretation of emotional topics, taking you into more positive emotional worlds! I am your emotional relief, but you have to know how to let yourself go!
Text | The wind stops at night
Original · Plagiarism must be investigated
In a relationship, it doesn't matter who you are, and it doesn't matter whether he has changed or not. The important thing is that you shouldn't take being in love and getting married as the same thing!
Love and marriage are the two opposing forces of joy at first sight and tireless time, and if you have to let them exert force in one direction, you can only be regurgitated!
We often say that feelings need to be managed. However, when zheng'er eight days pass, you want to fill in the only ideal answer into your life like an exam answer, then you are really "naïve".
The answer to the former can follow the "situation" from time to time and change from time to time; the answer to the latter will remain unchanged for thousands of years.
Most of the people who are bored in their feelings have solidified the way of business and conceptualized the way they get along with each other.
No matter what you do or who you face, once your heart solidifies and conceptualizes the result and process, you will be disappointed.
You have never had the hope of "becoming" for a thing, it has become, you have always been not optimistic about a person, but he always gives you constant "surprises", you will feel that this is unexpected luck.
Moreover, under the leadership of a good mood, you will do time from the fortunate result node in front of you, and in each past node, you can see your own solid and deserved gains.
On the contrary, when you are disappointed by an event or a person, you will only focus on the efforts that have touched you in the past, forgetting whether that kind of effort corresponds to the actual situation.
People, it's all like that. You can experience the joy of harvesting from the difficulty of not holding out hope, but you can never learn experience and lessons in the process of first expecting and then disappointing.
To survive in the world, we should have good expectations, but we must not forget to look at ourselves and constantly correct our direction for the sake of goals. This is precisely the "skill" that too many people seriously lack in emotional management.
Readers say to me: To be honest, I regret getting married!
This sentence of the reader, I don't know how many people want to complain about the topic. But I also have to say that the vast majority of people at present, the requirements for marriage and love objects are really getting higher and higher!
With the increasing pressure of people's lives, the demand for feelings is mostly divorced from purity and reality.
During the love period, the problems encountered are only:
Do you still love me? Who is that person? Are you trying to break up? My family does not agree...
However, after entering marriage, when the triviality of feelings is combined with the chicken feathers of chai rice oil and salt, people will use their own conceptual fantasies to measure the "change" of the people in front of them:
Since getting married, he has changed as a person! What was said before was all nonsense!
Since having children, he has become a face that I don't know, and if it weren't for the children, I would have divorced him a long time ago!
Ever since we had a better life, he had begun to think distorted, either with this ambiguity or with that, and did something betraying me!
Once upon a time? How did two people in the past see each other?
I know you have strengths and weaknesses, but your strengths outweigh the weaknesses, so I ignore them!
Because I love you, I can bear as many grievances as I want.
In order to love you, I will change myself and become your favorite look...
Once saw a short story dialogue about a husband and wife, the language of two people in love to after marriage, along the time to see is sweet and full, reverse to see is a lie ...
In fact, living a life and the wind and snow are never the same thing! Unfortunately, too many people are willing to let the wind and snow increase, but they do not have that ability. Always tired of contradictions and quarrels, but every day consciously or unconsciously staged frequent contradictions.
Why do people who love each other "regret" after entering marriage? It is because I did not see the following practical problems:
First: What used to think that I was tolerant was an overestimation of my ability to bear pressure!
In feelings, it is always a person with reasonable rationality who can best obtain a satisfactory marriage and love life.
Some people, once they have feelings for whom, pay full attention to emotional experience, spiritual satisfaction, and amplify the good of the other party. Occasionally seeing the flaws of the other party in the eyes, they also think that they can be tolerated and ignored, and even mistakenly think that they can slowly "guide" their changes.
In fact, as far as adults are concerned, the things that subjective consciousness is unwilling to change, no one can change. Some of the flaws you think of as ta, ta himself does not think so, your guidance does not work, your pressure will become lower and lower.
In the process of getting along between men and women, the saddest thing is not that you have met a person who is unreliable and disappoints you, but that you know that there are flaws in this person, and instead of asking whether you can bear it, you overestimate your ability to change others.
Second: because of the touch, I chose to combine!
What will be the reason why you fall in love with someone? Or does loving someone need a reason?
Probably a lot of people will say that because ta is good for me! Or, there are a lot of people who say, I just want to be nice to him!
A single "good" word, whether it is to take or give, is the elaboration of two words: touch.
Why is it that in the current marriage relationship, people who cross the line and betray them are becoming more and more uncontrollable? It is because the previous combination may be their own or each other's, or both sides may be blind for a "good" word!
It's easy to be together, but how do you understand "together" with each other?
In fact, many people don't know that being together actually has little to do with love or not, but being together based on love has more souls.
It's easy to be together, how to be together is fundamental! Who you choose to be with is the responsibility!
Choosing to be together by feeling and moving alone is too perfunctory! Only do things that move yourself, but forget what responsibility is, so that together do not regret it is strange!
Third: Overestimate your ability to "change others"!
The only thing in the world that can never be done is to change others. On the contrary, many people make changes to the people in front of them in the name of love, and finally find out that in fact, all these fantasies are overestimation of themselves.
One person can only guide another person forever, emitting subjective consciousness of self-change.
Everyone's upbringing and habits are different, and although you and your significant other are attracted to each other, it does not mean that you are roundworms in each other's stomachs.
When you overestimate your ability to change others, you will feel angry and disappointed when your partner "doesn't obey" you. At that moment, you must have regretted choosing to combine.
Moreover, the "points" that you want to change are also discovered during your love period. Where you used to be unable to accept it, after marriage you could only accept it even more, there was never a "habit" to say.
Unless, the other half of the place that you are not used to, brings you benefits, you will accept it, otherwise you will gradually think that he is against you!
Fourth: What should I do in order to prevent "quarrels" and contradictions after marriage?
Love is short-lived, togetherness is long! At the moment when love is changeable, the blow brought by breakups and divorces is only two kinds of differences: tragic and more tragic.
When in love, don't over-magnify each other's strengths and hide your flaws. When you have fully "treated each other with sincerity", you will know whether you are suitable for each other during the love period.
In fact, for emotional combination, there is no accurate definition of appropriateness. Only two people in the love period, each other can really be themselves, both sides can feel very comfortable, then your union is appropriate.
Otherwise, in addition to the love words of you and me, all the personalities and concepts of the two people are contrary to each other, and this combination is eighty percent for the revenge of which life, to do revenge in this life.
The sincere treatment of each other during the love period and the caution when combining are responsible for themselves and the best respect for the love of each other.
In the feelings, love the wrong person is not afraid, and the wrong person is terrible! It is not terrible to choose the wrong person, and it is most terrible to be helpless in the face of the wrong choice.
Therefore, all married men and women are advised:
People in love, don't be afraid to expose their own shortcomings and flaws, accept each other as best, can not accept and do not force themselves to tolerate. You know, what you can't accept before marriage, you can't accept it after marriage.
Married people, since they have chosen, must bear responsibility. Feelings are not child's play, combination is not a family, in fact, as long as you change yourself with your heart and think differently, your marriage has always been very happy, depending on what kind of mentality you face!
—End—
Love is man's purgatory in the world. Love or friendship, the right time meets the right person to cultivate the right results!
Topic Discussion: Are you disappointed in the lover in front of you? Say what you want to say but can't say to him, welcome to leave a message to interact.