Some children, accustomed to being praised all day long, collapse when they encounter the slightest setback. I only like to listen to praise and reject all the criticism that may be suffered. As long as it fails, it gives up the collapse and is fragile in the heart. Let's talk about 4 methods.
1. Give your child the opportunity to experience failure
Some children cry and make a lot of noise when they lose, and parents accommodate their children and deliberately let their children win. And I don't know if I let my child win for a while, but I can't win a lifetime.
There is an episode of the variety show "Parenting Battle", when a little girl plays a game with her father, her father can only lose and cannot win, otherwise, the daughter will cry and make trouble, and even kick and beat her father.
It turned out that in order to "motivate" his daughter, in ordinary life, everything he did was deliberately losing to his daughter, and over time, the daughter felt that her father should lose, and her father's loss was "right", and she could not accept her father's "win".
The father's love for his daughter makes people sigh, but the method of love is worth pondering.
Find a way to lose, and it is possible to win. Learn not to give up in failure in order to truly win.
2. Cultivate children's open-mindedness
The open-mindedness of "I am fortunate to have it, but I will lose my life" is the key to "being able to lose".
Stop saying to your child:
"The final exam is less than 90, see how I clean you up!"
"You really have a nest, you know crying, he robbed you, you will not rob him!" 」
How can such guidance make children "afford to lose"?
Teaching by example is greater than words, and when parents encounter problems themselves, the attitude they show is a good educational opportunity.
Tell your child about his failure experience and solutions, so that children know that there are many things that parents can't do and can't do well, and failure is not "shameful".
We can learn a lot from failure, and teach children by example to understand that losing is not terrible, and "not standing up" is terrible.
3, do not use vague language to praise children
Many parents always put "child, you are awesome" and "you are really smart child" on their lips to make their children feel good about themselves.
Once a child makes a mistake and is criticized by his parents, he will think, "Just say I'm awesome, and then say I'm stupid..."
It is human nature not to want to lose, and it is also true that it is impossible for all people to win.
When the child's grades are not satisfactory, do not ignore the process of the child's efforts, the warmest voice for the lost child is that the parents affirm his efforts, rather than questioning his ability.
4. Stand with your child
A netizen once shared an incident between her and her daughter.
The netizen played a game with her daughter, and when her daughter lost, she yelled and cried at her.
She looked at her daughter with a smile, then gave her a hug, helped her dry her tears, and let her daughter freely release her dissatisfaction.
When the daughter snuggled in the arms of netizens, she gradually stopped crying.
Many times, when children fail, they are also depressed and miserable inside. At this time, parents should become the most trustworthy support for their children. In the face of acceptance and recognition, the child's heart will be very warm.
Words spoken out of disappointment and anger not only do not help the child to adjust his emotions and get out of the predicament, but also may push the lost child into a psychological desperate situation. Don't hurt your child's "Lizi" because of your "face".
As teachers and parents, we must not only let children learn to absorb sunshine and obtain happiness, but also calmly face and bear the hardships and setbacks in life, and do not stop the pace of progress because they cannot withstand the invasion of wind and rain.
As the saying goes, "Good medicine is good for the sick, and good advice is good for the ear." ”
Regarding family parenting, if you have more insights, you can leave a message in the comment area to communicate~
Share articles with friends and family who have children around you to help them improve family relationships.
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[Author of this article]: Secretary Zhang of Orangutan Village
[Original Statement]: Some of the content of the article is excerpted from the Network, if there is infringement, please contact the author to correct and delete.
[Column Introduction]:
"Orangutan Ball Has Something to Say" is a parent-child education column of the new media channel under "Orangutan Ball Village". We aim to help more families improve their parent-child relationship and let the flowers of the motherland have a good childhood.
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