Children who dare to lie
Not necessarily
Bad boys
When it comes to lying, I believe that everyone will hate it and itch their teeth.
Children will always try to cover up their mistakes through lies when they make mistakes.
But in our eyes, the child's lies are so fragile.
Just like a while ago, a little girl told her mother that her school bag had been robbed on the way out of school.
When the mother heard that the girl had met a bad person, she quickly called the police, wanting to catch the bad guy and give the girl a fair trial.
outcome...
After the police collected evidence, it was finally found that the child threw away the school bag himself, and the reason for throwing the school bag was that he did not finish his homework.
I don't know if you ever lied when you were a child, but when I was a child, I did have a few deeply remembered lies, and they were not white lies, but to cover up their mistakes.
I remember forging my father's signature for three consecutive exams, and the third time I was ruthlessly exposed by my dad.
I knew it when he exposed me, he already knew that I had imitated his signature, and he thought about the day when I would admit my mistakes.
As a result, I didn't expect that I was not as conscious as he thought, but instead intensified.
The consequence of this lie was that my dad kicked him from the living room into the room.
American psychiatrist John Medina once mentioned in the book "Let the Brain Go Free": 4-year-olds lie every two hours on average, and at the age of 6, they lie every 90 minutes.
But when children lie, in order to make the lie as complete as possible in their perspective, the children must observe our reactions while thinking about countermeasures, that is, the process of lying is actually the process of brainstorming the child.
So a lot of times we feel that the child who can lie looks more "thief", and this "thief" is better to say, that is, "clever".
Because lying children have more opportunities to observe and think about a lot of content in a short period of time.
Of course, writing this article is not to encourage children to lie, let alone to excuse children who lie, as parents, we still have to understand the real reasons behind children's lying.
● Unconscious lying
It's not so much a "lie" as it is a bragging between children.
"My dad can fly!"
"My mom knows Ultraman!"
"I have big dinosaurs at home!"
Children, especially young children, who cannot distinguish between imagination and reality, often confuse their fantasies about the appearance of their parents with reality.
When peers talk about these topics, many "lies" blurt out.
● Masking of errors
When the child is older, they will use lies to cover up some mistakes.
In the end, the child who lies is still in order to be able to maintain his "human design" in front of his guardian.
Just imagine, if the child didn't care about our feelings, and directly broke the can and broke it, he wouldn't think of using lies to cover up his mistakes.
But what should we do to make children lie less?
Here are three ways for children to be more honest and honest about their mistakes.
● Teaching by example is important
If we often do not keep our promises when we are educating our children, then I don't think we have to expect too much from our children's honesty.
If in the process of educating our children, we can believe what we say and do what we do, then our children will also learn from us, learn our way of doing things, and be more honest in life.
● You can punish, but don't pass
Children who make mistakes naturally want to make children responsible, but many times, we have to give children some space to make mistakes.
To put it simply, it is to give the child some "fault tolerance rate", I imitated my father's signature when I was a child, and his old man also gave me three opportunities, and found that I was really a bit helpless, so he gave me a kick.
But now that I think about it, I still recommend that when you find out that the child is lying, slightly hint at the child that you have found out and hope that the child will correct, rather than secretly observing, hoping that the child can turn back to the shore...
Another purpose of writing this article is that I want to convey a way of thinking to you.
That is, when we have time, we can reflect on the education we experienced when we were young, and our parents must be right about our education, and there are also some that do not seem to be successful now.
Summarizing these educational experiences and improving them slightly can not only pass on the family style, but also bring better education methods to children.
Education is not to inherit, change, add, and eliminate at the same time.