He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
What is socializing?
Between people, in order to achieve some kind of cooperation or to jointly complete certain interests, certain connections are formed and certain relationships are formed.
What is the nature of socializing?
It's actually a value exchange.
This is evident in anyone.
Moreover, as a person's self-worth is higher and his social status is higher, the higher the "value" that the people in his circle can provide.
Like what:
In the world of children, whoever has toys and snacks has more "followers" around them.
In the adult world, whoever can solve his confusion, solve his troubles, and rescue him from his tormented emotions will give more feedback to the other party.
And when you become a "social person" and go through the social ladder, the social situation you face at this time is often: value exchange.
You are the boss, you need to have a partner; you are an employee, you need to have a good job; if you want to fall in love, you must first come up with your own conditions.
Similar relationships are a kind of value exchange.
So, how does socializing make you a more popular, respected person?
You need to have certain abilities, and when you are strong enough, the people around you may become your "network".
-01
Ability to create value for others
When you are valuable, you will find more and more "friends" around you.
Even friends who have not been in touch for many years suddenly appear around you and become warm and polite.
Because they can get certain values from you, through your values, to help them accomplish a certain purpose.
"The poor are in the downtown area and no one asks, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains" is a typical truth.
If a person has ability, high social value, and good economic conditions, then there must be many people around him.
Why?
"Seeking advantage and avoiding harm" is the essence of human beings.
Being able to reap the benefits of completing a jump through you, why don't others do that?
Therefore, if you want others to please you, you need to have this ability.
When you are good enough, you will find that everyone around you can easily become your "network".
On the other hand, if you have nothing and no ability, why should others please you?
When you have nothing, all that's left is cynicism around you.
-02
Ability to provide "emotional value" to others
Do you know what emotional value is?
In simple terms:
The people around them are very depressed, pessimistic, and negative energy.
But since becoming friends with you, you have found that they have changed; even they themselves are surprised to find that they are always happy to be with you.
You are like the "pistachio" in the circle, able to bring happiness to everyone, with your optimism and freedom, infect their emotions.
This is the charm of "high emotional value".
Have you ever found a pattern?
In socializing, it is often those who are sunny and cheerful, enthusiastic and lively, who are more popular.
It is precisely because of their positive energy and positive emotions that they are popular.
You know, many people are in a state of stress, low interest, and easy anxiety; they are very much in need of happiness and want to be with people who provide them with "positive emotional value".
Therefore, when your "emotional value" is high enough, then you will naturally become more and more popular and loved by everyone.
-03
Appearance, often the "first attraction" of social networking
The heart of beauty is shared by everyone.
The "love of beauty" here is not only to make yourself more beautiful, but also to like to see beautiful people and things.
Therefore, a person with high appearance, good figure and good temperament is welcome no matter where he is.
In the process of interpersonal communication, when we face a person with a very good appearance and a very mediocre appearance, which one can attract your attention and deepen your impression?
There must be no doubt that the person who looks good must be.
Two strangers who have never known each other, do not know each other at all when they first contact.
So how do you get to know each other and label them?
There is no doubt that first impressions are particularly important; they can only be evaluated by the appearance, stature or temperament of the other person.
You have to understand one truth:
Good-looking people always have an advantage.
If a person is not good-looking, then work hard to exercise and cultivate a good body; study hard, shape your body shape, and improve your temperament.
Just like in "The Beautiful Legend of Sicily", when the heroine appears in that town, all the men are looking at it.
-04
Respectful enough, but also strong enough
In socializing, you should mold yourself into a "principled, bottom-line, cultured person; however, you also have your own strong side." ”
You will give enough respect to the people you have come into contact with, but you will not accept the unreasonable demands of others without a bottom line.
You should show your strength, express your anger, and "say no" to things you hate and behavior you don't like.
If you are always a "polite, only promise" attitude, others may think that you are weak and think that you are a bully.
Only occasionally show your anger, your strength, others dare not easily provoke you.
How do I gain the respect of others?
The weak are always bullied, and only the strong can gain a foothold in social life.
When you are weak, the people around you always bully you; when you are strong, no one dares to look down on you.
Remember:
If you want to gain the respect of others, you should first show our respect; if others do not respect you, then you should respond with your own strength.
We shouldn't look for trouble, but we also can't be afraid of trouble.
When you are capable, no one will despise you;
If you have good enough economic conditions, you will have more friends around you;
Your social status is high enough, then you have more say.
Only when people complete themselves can they be respected and trusted by others.
Today's Topic:
What kind of people do you like to spend time with?
(Article with picture source network)