Xiaoqing loves to cry, is criticized by her mother, is unhappy with her classmates, or accidentally falls, and will cry sadly for a long time.
Mom hoped that Xiaoqing would become stronger, but there was no effective way.
Until one day, mom read a story called the positive label effect.
During World War II, the United States was understaffed, so it also enriched the prisoners in prisons to the army.
But these prisoners behaved carelessly, had many bad habits, and could not be directed at all.
To this end, the army invited a psychologist to see if this situation could be changed, and the psychologist did nothing else, but asked the prisoner to write a letter to the family every week.
The content of the letter was drawn up by psychologists, mainly to write about his discipline in the army, courage to fight, and other good behaviors, and then let the prisoner copy it.
After a few months, the words and deeds of these prisoners had really changed dramatically, becoming more and more like those described in the letter, almost the same as those of the regular army.
Later psychologists called this phenomenon the label effect.
This mother also wanted to try whether this trick could work, so she deliberately labeled Xiaoqing as strong, and told her daughter many times that she was brave, not afraid of pain, not afraid of difficulties.
Xiao Qing listened to her mother say this, and her eyes lit up.
After that, my mother took Xiaoqing to the square, and on the road, she competed with who ran faster.
Xiaoqing accidentally fell, just about to open her mouth to cry, her mother hurriedly said that Xiaoqing is a strong child, will not cry her nose in order to fall.
Xiao Qing listened, stood up from the ground, made a grimace, and ran again.
This label effect is really true! The mother sighed.
Yes, labeling children used to be mostly negative news, that is because many parents put negative labels on their children, which must have a negative effect.
But if you put a positive label on your child, your child will do it according to the label, effectively correct the shortcomings and problems on your body, and become more and more like the positive label you put on.
1. No matter how big the problem is, the child who is labeled can change the problem
There was a child whose parents divorced, lived with his father, and learned to smoke and drink with his father at a very young age.
Later, he also became addicted to the vice of gambling, and finally robbed because he lost too much gambling and was sent to prison.
At this time, everyone thought that the child was incurable, but his mother was convinced that the child could be improved.
Every time you visit the prison, your mother will say something like this: "Child, although you have made a mistake, your mother knows that you will be able to correct it, and you will be a person who is responsible for yourself and your family and useful to the country." ”
In the beginning, the child takes his mother's words as the wind in his ears.
Every time the mother came to speak, listened to it many times, and saw the mother's trusting and firm eyes, the boy inexplicably felt that he could get better and began to actively transform.
A few years later, the boy got out of prison, not only got rid of his previous bad habits, but also taught himself the craft of repairing cars, earned money to support himself and his mother, and once donated money to the disaster area to do good deeds.
This once fallen teenager was rehabilitated under the influence of his mother's repeated labels.
Once a child accepts the label that his parents have put on him, he will give himself great strength in his heart and develop in the direction of the label.
In this regard, Goethe once said: "If you look at a man as he is, he will maintain the status quo; if you look at a man in terms of his abilities and due achievements, he will develop towards this goal." ”
In pedagogy, there is a famous "Bimaron's law": what kind of eyes you look at your child, what kind of person the child will become.
This mother thinks that the child will definitely change the problem, and the child will really change!
2. Use the good label hint method to make the child more and more excellent
Once, a professor who studied education gave a lecture at a primary school, during which she asked the children to talk about their strengths and ideals.
Everyone spoke enthusiastically, but only one little girl kept her head hunched over and didn't move.
The professor walked up to the child and asked, "What's your name?" Tell us about your strengths and future ideals. ”
The little girl looked at the professor blankly and whispered, "My name is Xiaolan, my grades are not good, and my mother and teachers say that I am a big fool." ”
"I feel that I have no merit in my body, and I don't know what I can do in the future, and I don't have ideals."
Listening to the girl's words, the professor's heart was tugged.
Seeing that the little girl had been sitting there quietly, the professor decided to use it to help the girl improve her self-confidence.
Therefore, the professor asked in front of all the children: "You see, Xiaolan has always been very quiet, does not disturb me to give lectures to everyone, and does not prevent you from speaking. ”
"Yes!" The children answered in unison.
The professor noticed that Xiaolan's eyes lit up, probably because she had never heard anyone praise her like this.
In order to further Xiaolan's self-confidence, the professor also said to her: "Listen, the classmates say that you are a good child, in fact, you have many advantages, and you can do great things in the future." ”
"I am an educator, believe what I say, in the future you will be able to achieve your ideals." 」
"Really?" Xiao Lan will be suspicious.
The professor nodded his head vigorously, and then he found that Xiaolan's eyes were brighter, his body was sitting up straight, and his head was also raised.
The fate of this little girl was completely changed because of a positive label by the professor, and later Xiaolan became really more confident and her life was cheerful.
No matter how well a child behaves, he needs the support, encouragement, and affirmation of his parents.
The writer Hua Zi once said: "The child is like this, what kind of person you think he is, what kind of person he will become." ”
With the psychological cues of positive labels, the child will undergo wonderful changes in his heart, become hard-working, and eventually become an excellent child.
3. No problem child, maybe you are labeling the wrong label
In order to ensure that Xiaowen has enough sleep time, her parents stipulate that her bedtime cannot exceed 10 o'clock every day.
Xiaowen often watches TV or plays games after doing homework, and her mother urges her daughter many times a day, and Xiaowen reluctantly goes to rest.
The mother supervises Xiaoqing like this every day, the daughter is very unhappy, and the mother is tired, but she can't find a better way to let the husband take care of it.
On this day, Dad walked over to Xiaowen, sat down next to him and said, "Daughter, is the game fun?" ”
"It's fun!" Xiao Wen replied without looking up.
"It's fun, but it's past ten o'clock now, and it's time for bed. I believe my daughter will take the initiative to go to bed without me having to call again. ”
Hearing her father say this, the daughter looked up at her father, who nodded at him and walked back to the study.
After about two minutes, Dad heard Xiaowen enter his bedroom.
The next day, Xiaowen forgot the time to sleep again, and her father did the same, and a minute later, Xiaowen went to bed.
On the third day, as soon as Dad's words began, Xiaowen immediately got up and went to sleep.
Since then, Xiaowen no longer needs her father to shout many times before going to rest.
Children play without sleeping, parents repeatedly urge, it is concluded that children can not change, children may really be worse and worse.
Instead, label your child positively, believing she can sleep on time, and your child may be able to change bad behavior and do it better than once.
When others praise you, your heart will naturally behave particularly well.
Because the person thinks you're nice and you don't want to disappoint the other person. Thus, you will behave "as he says."
Therefore, in life, smart parents will label their children with positive labels to imply that over time, the behavior expected by parents will appear as desired.
So, how can parents influence their children by putting positive labels on positive labels? Grasp the following three points:
First, guiding label implications
For example, when you come home from school, ask your child: "You are a good child who loves to prepare, what lessons do you need to prepare tomorrow?" ”
Or guide the child before going out: "You are a child with a memory, what else do you need to bring?" "Let the child recall quickly in the brain.
After repeated positive labels by parents to guide sexual innuendo, children can become more and more excellent.
Second, the scene label implies
If you want your child to learn to draw, take your child to visit the calligraphy and painting exhibition.
If you want your child to learn the piano, take your child to more concerts.
Let children experience the beauty of art in a specific situation and subtly fall in love with this hobby, which is the magical effect implied by the situation label.
Third, the behavior label implies
When the child speaks on stage, the parent makes the "you are the best" gesture.
When the child is sad, the parent gives the child a big hug to empathize.
These behavior labels hint at the child, and the child will become more confident.
What do you think about labeling your child as positive? Welcome to share with you in the comment area, remember to like and follow yo!