A thing that made my parents extremely anxious really happened to me!
One of my cousins, when he was a child, was a child with excellent character and learning, and when he was a child, he was often used by his parents as a learning model, and his parents often used his cousin to educate me to learn from him well and spur me to study hard.
After all these years, we both grew up, and my parents slowly rarely mentioned him. Recently, when I inadvertently talked about this cousin with my parents, I expressed infinite emotion, and my parents were also greatly puzzled and regretful. Why?
My cousin's grades were really good that year, and he was admitted to a famous key university in the province, and he originally thought that he must be better than me, but he did not expect that he has now become an old man.
After graduating from college, he failed to go to graduate school and wanted to continue to graduate school, but his parents did not agree and let him find a good job. But my cousin can't pull down his face, feels that there is no future in finding a job now, and still wants to continue to graduate school. But after being rejected by his parents, he stayed at home for half a year, doing nothing every day, except eating and sleeping, just playing games.
The cousin's parents saw that this was not the way to go, so they had to agree to the son's request, gave the cousin 30,000 yuan, found a school for examination, and let the cousin continue to realize his dream of testing.
But the cousin's good luck seems to have run out, and he still refuses to give up after failing. The blood and sweat money of his cousin's parents was adrift, and he once again wanted to persuade his cousin to give up. But the persuasion was fruitless, the cousin did not want to go out to find a job, the cousin's parents had no choice, but had to provide for the support, so my cousin became an old man, doing nothing at home every day.
Whenever I talk about it, my parents sigh. I don't know why the good boy who was good at both character and learning has now become a delicious and lazy nibbling old man! But as I later learned, the reason why my cousin became what he is today is inseparable from his parents' family education. Often children born into these three families are more likely to be raised, and my cousin belongs to one of them.
A family that pampers children
This cousin of mine belongs to the children who have been pampered since childhood. Why?
Although my cousin has excellent grades since he was a child, his parents do not have to do anything to educate his cousin, just study well. The cousin also completely obeyed his parents. Since he was a child, he has only been reading with all his heart, and almost all the big and small things in the family do not need him to do, and he lives every day to open his mouth and his clothes to reach out.
Even in high school, I still never washed my clothes, and every time I took dirty clothes home and let my parents wash them, it was still the same when I went to college.
My cousin never worried about money since he was a child, and when he didn't have money, he reached out to his parents. Many people in college will think of going out to do part-time work, which can not only exercise their social practice ability, but also earn a little living expenses.
But my cousin never thinks about these issues, and even after graduating from college, he still doesn't have any ability to make money. The only thing I think of is to continue to study and graduate school, it is estimated that if he really succeeds in graduate school, it is estimated that he will not necessarily know how to make money and make a living.
My cousin is now in his 30s, and he has never thought of going out to work to make money, just hiding in the house, his parents have the heart to ignore him, let him fend for himself, but in the end he still can't bear it, after all, there is only one child in the family. Not to mention the pity of the world's parents, the cousin's parents have to provide for it to raise, just hope that the cousin will not go around causing trouble and going astray.
Children who hold their parents too high
There is also such a family in life, that is, to regard the child as a treasure, to hold the child's status too high, but to regard themselves as the child's servant, and to do everything for the child.
Over time, the parents' efforts have not been rewarded, but the children still take it for granted that everything the parents do is deserved, and they accept it with peace of mind. But as the child grows up, the parents gradually grow old, and one day when they can no longer give the child more, the child may be dissatisfied with the parents and even scold the parents.
Even if such a child grows up in the future, he will not be able to integrate well into society, because in society, there is no one who will be as selfless as his parents, selflessly dedicated and obedient to himself, without extravagantly asking for anything in return.
Especially when I saw a picture like this, it was very sad. A child plays with his mobile phone there, and his mother kneels next to him, begging him to go to school, but the child remains indifferent.
Seeing such parents makes people feel pity for them, but poor people also have something to hate, and this child is now like this, which should be inseparable from his parents' original education for him.
Parents hold their children too high, then parents will inevitably become incomparably humble. Even if parents bow their proud heads, bend their knees, or even kneel in front of their children, they may still not be able to satisfy their children.
Parents who have no bottom line to back down
In life, there are actually many pit old people. And these parents who nibble on the elderly are not without finding problems with their children. Although in daily life it is found that children have problems of not being independent and not knowing gratitude. But it does not attract attention, but believes that the child is still young, and when the child grows up, these problems will slowly change.
Therefore, these parents will give in step by step when facing their children's problems. Always thinking in the heart that the child is still young, but in the hearts of many parents, no matter how old the child is, they may think that he is still just a child, so he will step by step and make concessions without a bottom line. Even when the child grows up and grows old, as long as he has the ability, he still willingly gives in front of the child without a bottom line, and never bears to force the child to be independent.
Children's non-independence, nibbling on the old, and not growing up are actually related to the bottomless concessions of their parents.
If these parents can be a little more ruthless and resolute as soon as possible, and give their children the opportunity to be independent, then the growth of children may be a different world.
In fact, loving children is not to blindly give in to children, but to adhere to a bottom line and cultivate children's ability to be independent from an early age.
Don't just think about the immediate problem, but make a long-term plan for your child. Let the child know what to do, know how to respect others, learn to be grateful, and be a person who is useful to society and the family, which is what parents should do.
In the process of educating your children, have you also committed the above three kinds of family problems? Parents and friends quickly checked themselves, and from now on to make changes, everything is still too late.