With men, high emotional intelligence getting along skills: learn not to take the initiative

A relationship needs certain skills to maintain, if you ignore it, then the hard-won love will quickly collapse in a reckless state.

Women must understand some "routines" so that they will not put themselves in a difficult situation in their feelings.

Love is maintained in a way that requires wisdom, and only with heart can it last.

In a relationship between the sexes, with men, the skill of getting along with high emotional intelligence is to learn not to take the initiative.

What you give is not necessarily what the other party wants, so don't take the initiative to pay

In a relationship, the idea of desperately giving for love seems very great, and a person sacrifices a lot when giving, but in fact, such an idea is actually a very deep narcissism.

When we deal with feelings, we have this kind of thinking, on the surface we are "for your own good", in essence, we are usurping the freedom of others in the name of "good for your own".

Our giving is only based on our own needs, that is, I pay for you, no matter what I give, you have to accept, otherwise you don't know how to lift.

We do not see the real existence of the other party, nor do we know what the real needs of the other party are, we are just paying for ourselves, and our payment is only our own needs, but not necessarily the needs of lovers.

This kind of care has deteriorated and become a kind of caring obsessive-compulsive disorder, forcing others to accept our efforts, without considering whether the other party needs it or not.

Moreover, if we take the initiative to pay in a relationship, and pay for a long time and more times, then for men, it is meaningless for us to pay more.

It's like when we feel hungry, the first time we get bread from someone else, it feels differently than the Nth time we get bread from someone else.

The first time is gratitude, the Nth time is feelingless or even disgusted.

Because later, what the other party gives us is what we don't need at all, and the more we give, it becomes a burden.

Therefore, don't be too active in paying this matter, and it is much better to send charcoal in the snow than to add icing on the cake.

Too much enthusiasm will not make warmth, so do not take the initiative to contact

Readers remember that when they were in love before, they were always the ones who took the initiative to contact each other.

The first good morning of the day is said by the reader, and the topic of the day is also the reader's racking of his brains to come up with, as long as the other party sends a message, he will immediately reply in seconds.

Until one day, the reader had a sudden idea, thinking about trying to try how long the boyfriend would not contact him if he did not take the initiative to contact his boyfriend?

As a result, on that day, the chat box between the two did not light up again, that is, the reader did not take the initiative to speak, and the two people no longer intersected.

There is no point in maintaining feelings in such a one-way way, we take a step back, it takes a step, we don't push, it doesn't go, but our energy is limited.

When we feel tired, we stop pushing, doesn't that mean that the relationship has fallen apart?

Zuo Yan, an emotional expert, once said: "When a woman becomes more and more enthusiastic about men, men become more and more cold to women."

Men are born with a desire to conquer, just like a lion catches prey, they enjoy the process of capture, an unknown process that is not yet completely their own.

If a woman takes the initiative to contact a man too much, then the man will feel that the woman has no challenge for himself, loses the desire to hunt, and will naturally be full of indifference.

Humble people have never been cared for, so they do not take the initiative to please

In a relationship between the sexes, we need to understand a truth, that is, some things can come by hard work, such as academic performance, such as a better job, but only love cannot be obtained through hard work.

Miyazaki once said—

"If you like a person, then you take two more steps toward him, and if he sees you coming and has no intention of greeting him, then you stop."

When we pay a lot for this, when we cater to the preferences of others and make ourselves perfect, in our opinion, we deserve feedback.

In fact, in the eyes of men, our low posture means that we have been pinched to death by the other party, and we are willing to do whatever we want.

Therefore, the other party also feels that we are just like this, not independent, not autonomous, summoned to come and go, for a dispensable person, who is willing to spend more time to care?

Currying favor is the least appropriate way to be in a relationship, it puts us in a low-profile way, but people who are low to the dust will not blossom any flower of hope.

Life is only a few decades, the most important thing is to satisfy yourself, not to please others, not to mention the need for equal love.

Therefore, it is enough to love herself, and only on the basis of loving herself can women love others well.