The world is not black and white, and cognition cannot be too extreme

Tao Te Ching:

It's very good, it's very good.

The laws of this world can be mastered, but the laws are in flux.

Many people's way of thinking is "black and white", only "right or wrong", "ok or not".

For example:

Rong Rong is a left-behind child, from childhood his parents went out to work, he was brought up by his grandmother, due to the lack of parental care and love, Rong Rong's personality became introverted, lack of self-confidence and security.

Parents find out about their children's problems, feel that they have owed their children for many years, and the children have become like this because of a lack of love, and they are afraid that their children will not be able to become talents when they grow up, so they will take Rong Rong to their side.

Rong Rong, who returned to his parents, felt pampered, and in order to make up for the lack of children, his parents obeyed Rong Rong, and slowly, Rong Rong became willful and arrogant. When things are slightly uncomfortable, they are very grumpy, noisy, and lose their temper.

The parents are very helpless, they feel that they have spoiled Rong Rong and spoiled her too much. They found that if they continued like this, the child would still not be able to become a talent.

Even if they found the problem, Rongrong's parents did not know what to do, they thought:

When the child lacks love, he gives the child love, gives the love child but becomes arrogant, does not give love, does not give love, does not give love, this is not OK, that is not OK, what to do in the end?

Later, they concluded that the reason was not the problem of lack of love, but that RongRong was originally a child who was not a tool and was doomed to fail to become a talent.

Some people have questioned this, where is the problem of children, obviously it is the problem of your parents' education.

Rongrong's parents were very dismissive of this view, saying: What do you know? You don't even know what we're paying! We do all the things that parents should do and we have no problems!

This is typical "black and white" thinking.

It's an extreme mindset, it's a cognitive deficit because it misses some valuable, fungible, neutral perspective and solution.

There are still countless possibilities between black and white, right and wrong, and often the possibility of the width in the middle can solve the problem very well.

Just like Rongrong's parents in the example, their problem is that they have not mastered the scale of discipline of their children.

Many people will think that this way of thinking that is clear between good and evil, jealous and evil is not very good?

In some cases, this way of thinking can indeed reduce a lot of time for people to think, it can make people simplify the problem, and it is more conducive to quick decisions and actions.

However, in the long run, the lack of breadth in thinking is unfavorable, even if the "black and white" way of thinking happens to make the right choice, there is an element of luck here, who can guarantee that every time will be so lucky?

Therefore, the thinking should still have breadth, and the cognition should still not be extreme.

Some people say that it is too difficult to improve cognition, and there is no other way?

There is a very effective method.

Permission is questioned.

When others question you, don't habitually oppose different opinions, and think about whether what others say is true. What is the essence of the problem?

Because questioning itself is the driving force behind progress and the discovery of the truth.

However, there will still be a kind of person who is very stubborn, who cannot listen to the doubts of others, and in his cognition, not only is it wrong to question, but everything that differs from his views is wrong.

Where did he get the confidence?

From his past experience, perhaps he really tried, succeeded or failed, these experiences gave him great confidence.

Even so, not being able to accept questioning is still the wrong beginning, and you can accept questioning and reasonably eliminate the questioning, rather than relying on experience to reject the questioning.

As the Tao Te Ching says at the beginning of the article, even if the laws of the world can be mastered, the laws will still change.

Maybe your experience is right, but maybe it's only within your narrow cognition, experience, and maybe many factors have changed over time, so being able to accept questioning is a great beginning.

No one likes to be denied, and everyone likes to be affirmed and praised, which is essentially determined by man's seven passions and six desires.

Man's lust needs to be reasonably controlled and cannot be indulged, otherwise, this is the beginning of the disaster.

When you control your emotions and desires, and make your heart more pure, you can more easily accept the doubts of others, you can effectively avoid the cognitive trap of "black and white", you can better avoid the defects of empiricism, you can more clearly explore the essence of things, you can find more possibilities, and your life will go to the bright road.

The Tao Te Ching says:

The avenue is very bad, and the people are good.

The avenue is already very wide, and people just like to take shortcuts.

The road to success is already bright, but it depends on whether your heart is bright or not.