Follow the Super Nursery to accompany you to easy and scientific parenting
Wen | the end of the world
Recently watched "Our Marriage" is very top,000, and bai bai he is too relieved of the plot of Tong Dawei.
In the play,
Stay-at-home moms, selfish dads, widowed parenting
...... Simply don't be too real.
Bai Baihe's wife Shen Yanxing and Tong Dawei's husband Sheng Jiangchuan are the perfect companions in the eyes of outsiders.
Shen Yanxing took care of the family, Sheng Jiangchuan worked hard outside, earned money to support the family, and finally lived in a new house.
Everything looks so perfect, but what is the truth?
Shen Yanxing was preoccupied with the family, but the husband did not see the child for a day.
When Shen Yanxing, who was detached from society and physically and mentally exhausted, planned to return to the workplace,
Sheng Jiang Chuan
Strenuously opposed
He just wants his wife to support his career.
If you must work, you have to find a nine-to-five job, no overtime, and you can also bring a baby.
As a husband, Moriekawa Kazuma
"Double Standard"
yes.
If the wife wants to work, she must have the convenience of bringing a baby.
When Shen Yanxing found a job and became a competitor with Tong Dawei, Tong Dawei looked down on him:
"You don't understand investing, you don't have an idea, all you have is obsession."
But Comet Shen
No more flinching.
3 years later, the husband's self, who did not understand investment, had become a big man in the venture capital industry.
It was precisely because of Shen Comet's initial denial of life that it was not destroyed by the harmony of the surface.
I have to say that Bai Baihe is really a cruel person.
But in life, how many women are trapped in the circle of "full-time mothers" and can't leave the house.
Worse still, they drift apart from their husbands.
The furthest distance between husband and wife is to sleep in the same bed without understanding what the other person is thinking.
But how much stay-at-home moms crave their worth to be seen.
Instead of being humbled to the dust and becoming a tool man that even a nanny can't match.
01
How tired are stay-at-home moms?
In the play, Shen Yanxing has been 6 years
The same thing is repeated every day
：
Cooking, washing clothes, cleaning...
Children are vaccinated and sick and take care of themselves.
Choosing a kindergarten and interviewing are also done by yourself.
After buying a new house, Sheng Jiangchuan drank outside and socialized, but Shen Yanxing could only move by himself.
In fact, this is just the tip of the iceberg of the daily life of stay-at-home moms.
In addition to housework, you also have to take the baby, accompany the baby to write homework, go to interest classes...
Shen Yanxing, who has been a full-time mother for 6 years in silence, proposed to her husband:
If you were to watch the kids at home and I would go out to work, would you?
The husband said casually: Yes, how easy it is to eat soft rice.
How many men have such thoughts and always feel like stay-at-home moms
Sentimental
, not so tired.
But only by experiencing it for yourself can you have a say.
When Sheng Jiangchuan was forced to take his daughter Sugar Candy on a business trip, he was left busy at the train station.
Sugar sugar is going to the toilet, sugar sugar is going to wash your hair, sugar sugar is going to be...
Sheng Jiang Chuan only did it once and collapsed, so how do stay-at-home mothers feel?
I know that the answer of the previous mother was:
Tired.
She brought up her two-year-old daughter.
Although it was easier to bring, she couldn't sleep all night.
When my daughter was one and a half years old, she was diagnosed with moderate anxiety and depression.
She said
The tiredness of stay-at-home mothers is more of a heart exhaustion.
Even if 996 has one day to go to work, it belongs to you.
Stay-at-home moms are on call 365 days a week 007 and are not paid yet.
A large part of the tiredness of stay-at-home mothers is due to the family's lack of understanding.
When she found out depression and anxiety, her husband said:
How so many children are okay, she is depressed and anxious to die.
This kind of encounter, many stay-at-home mothers feel the same.
Their lives revolve around their families and children, and they are not financially independent, and they are rejected for reaching out for money.
For example, this husband who complains that his wife spends 100 yuan in 3 days,
While saying that I raise you, I complain that my wife spends too much money and does not sympathize with her husband.
"How tired can you be with a child when you don't go to work?"
"Don't be in the blessing and don't know the blessing, and don't need you to make money."
The child has a fever and needs money to go to the hospital, but the husband is impatient:
"Didn't you just give you money?" It costs 100 yuan in 3 days, and it costs money when you are idle."
Listen to the real nest fire.
The wife decided to stay at home not because she was unable to earn money, but because her mother made concessions.
Moreover, the wife did not think about it because of the money.
As a husband, you should cherish your wife's efforts, rather than saying something that makes your wife feel cold.
It is said that stay-at-home mothers have endless jobs.
But in fact, the biggest pain of stay-at-home mothers is not an endless housework at all.
Rather, the economy is not free, and it has completely lost itself.
You can never imagine how tired an energetic mother was behind her back and how many wounds she licked alone.
Many times, stay-at-home moms just want their husbands to share a little and comfort themselves.
02
Mothers who regain control of their lives,
Live more exciting
Some people envy stay-at-home mothers who don't have to punch in, don't have to brush their faces, and have a lot of time to dispose of.
So if you let you face your children every day, or the empty room after your husband goes to work and the children go to school, are you still envious?
If you are still envious when you fall into anxiety because you don't trim the edges and lose your body?
If you want to return to the workplace, but your husband is obstructing in every way, are you still envious?
I have a friend who has been a stay-at-home mom for many years.
The husband said she could not take care of her two children and the elderly if she had to work.
The boss needs her to learn;
The second brother often has a cold and fever and needs her care;
The old man is not in good health and needs her to be on standby at any time.
But that's not my mother's patent.
Dad's work is relatively free, why not share it?
Being rejected again and again, allowing friends to stop talking about work.
However, every time she buys something, she has to weigh it, afraid of being said to spend money indiscriminately.
Thinking about Shen Yanxing, I really have courage.
She scolded her husband:
"I have the same education as you and the same education.
Kids and family are the two of us.
Why is it that when it comes to work, you are the lord and me is secondary? ”
though
The road back to the workplace is a history of blood and tears, not only facing the opposition of family members, but also encountering discrimination in the workplace
。
But in the face of HR's questioning, she fought for every opportunity for herself.
"It's also important to accompany my child's growth, and it's a life plan for me."
"Being a mother is also my strength, I have been accumulating for 6 years, and I also want to be an idol for my daughter."
Even after failing 6 times, she still didn't give up.
Finally, she got a job, starting as an intern.
Shen Wants others to know:
Returning moms deserve such a chance.
She not only wanted a job, but also respect.
At last
She proved herself with her abilities and also made her husband re-examine their marriage.
From the initial humble to the current domineering, Shen Comet, who came out of the 6-year career gap period, deserves such a reward.
She also gave a wake-up call to stay-at-home moms.
Freedom is self-confidence.
If you say that Shen Yanxing is a character in a TV series, what is such an exaggeration.
But look at the real mom, she's Melinda, who divorced Bill Gates.
A year later, she talked again about the divorce.
She had cried and raged, but it was all gone.
In her 27-year marriage, Melinda had to give up her career, especially after having children, when she put more energy into the family.
In addition to bill gates cheating, she and Bill Gates have gradually become different.
She gradually felt that the original independent women now have almost no voice of their own in society.
So, she made up her mind to change and offered to divorce.
Melinda after the divorce did not want any support from her spouse, but instead
Take control of your life again
She returned to the workforce to devote herself to philanthropy.
It was also announced that the Gates Foundation will allocate $2.1 billion to promote women's equality efforts.
Long Zaiyu said: Life is like chess, those who know the game are born, those who break the game exist, and those who are in charge win.
In the puzzle, stay-at-home mothers want to find a way out and bravely change themselves.
Because, in this way, it is easier for them to find their value.
Melinda once told us in her book The Feminine Moment:
Men cannot simply be expected to voluntarily relinquish power.
Yes, men only want to show their ability and desire to protect, and will not easily admit that women also have a very good side.
Only when they see good results will they change their prejudices against women.
03
How to be a mom who pleases herself
Bi Shumin said:
"Waiting for others to love you, it is better to try to love yourself." 」
Whether it is a workplace or a full-time mother, you must first be kind to yourself and live your life.
Because, being kind to your mother will please yourself even more.
Redefine the ordering of life
Papi Sauce gave an independent woman's life order in one show:
Yourself, your partner, your children, your parents.
Sounds selfish, but especially makes sense.
Putting yourself first is not about ignoring your family and ignoring the feelings of others.
It is to live your own life well, so that we have the ability to take care of others, and others will respect you.
Psychologist Hong Lan once said:
"How much love can a mother who does not even love herself, a mother who is physically and mentally exhausted, a mother who has completely lost herself, give her child?"
"Fishhead" mom, "sacrificial" partner
It doesn't make your partner grateful, it doesn't make your child grateful.
So
If you want to be a good mother and a good wife, don't forget to love yourself and run yourself well.
Talk to your inner self
Wang Yaping, the first female astronaut on the Chinese space station, is also a mother.
From pilot to astronaut, she experienced marriage and children, but has always dreamed of space.
Going to space once is already great for a mom, and it's not too much to retreat into the background.
But lifting off again is her greatest wish,
She chose to follow her heart and strive to improve and optimize herself.
Finally, she got her wish and was chosen to go to space again for a "business trip." ”
She made a pact with her daughter,
"Mom is going to go to space to pick stars for you to come back, and you're waiting for Mom."
She also took off with her daughter's bunny doll, such a mother which child is not proud of.
Compared with dads, society's requirements for moms are always harsher.
After getting married and having children, it is not an easy task for mothers to pursue their dreams.
But when my mother feels that she has the ability to realize her dreams, whether she wants to chase or give up, she should listen to her own voice.
Learn to follow your heart, so that you will not have regrets.
Be brave enough to make a decision
For many mothers, they are forced to make choices after getting married and having children.
But some mothers, whether in the workplace or back to the family, will bravely make decisions.
He Lina, the mother of a 4-year-old child, married and had children after graduating from college and took her baby alone.
But because of this, he also broke off contact with the outside world and suffered from postpartum depression.
After a year as a stay-at-home mom, He Lina bravely made a decision: to find a job.
Today, she has been working in the workplace for two years and has become the webmaster of a customer experience center at Alibaba.
She confessed:
"If you've always been a stay-at-home mom, your child won't see how good your mom is.
Now spending the money I earn, I feel very free. ”
It is precisely because of the bravery of this mother that she has found her own light.
If in an intimate relationship, it is always someone else who makes decisions for you,
After a long time, you will feel depressed, until one day you are no longer able to change the status quo.
Happiness requires us to be brave enough to pursue, and after truly taking that step, we are born again.
04
Harvard University concluded through the famous Grant study:
equally
The husband's support for his wife in marriage makes the wife's return to the workplace smoother.
Taking care of the family and educating the children is not a monopoly of the mother, but the father shares it together.
Lin Yutang said: A good marriage must have receiving and giving.
As a husband, "giving" does not mean giving, but giving.
Give your wife understanding and support, and you can't support your wife because you earn money yourself,
But you can also see the value of your wife. When necessary, I also support my wife to go out of the house.
A good marriage, if it can't be evenly matched, learn to trade between one and the other.
A good husband can realize that no one sacrifices for granted, and mutual fulfillment is true happiness.
Author: The end of the world, love life, like to read, write some small words to share with you.