The chaos caused by "stealing" money
When she received a call from her sister, she said angrily: "Come back and see, something big has happened at home!" ”
It turned out that my little nephew, who was less than 5 years old, "stole" the 100 yuan that my mother put on the coffee table to buy vegetables and did not know where to use it.
100 yuan, almost a day's food expenses, for a child less than 5 years old, is really a huge amount of money, if you do not let him realize the mistake, it is likely to bring big problems in the future.
The family took turns and asked him what he was doing with the money, and he didn't say it; and when he asked what he bought, he didn't say it. The most outrageous thing is that he did not admit that he stole the family's money.
My sister is a violent temper, looking at the little nephew's appearance of not entering the oil and salt, she has long been angry, and in a fit of anger, she took out a fly to shoot and made a gesture to beat the little nephew.
I thought that the little nephew was most afraid of being beaten, and after this beating, he would definitely recognize the mistake and correct it in time. Who knows, but he insisted: I am not a thief, I did not steal the family's money. My sister really couldn't control it, and beat up my little nephew violently.
But even if he was beaten to tears, the little nephew still did not admit to stealing money, and my sister was distressed and angry, and she was afraid of really beating the child out of a good villain, so there was the opening call.
Parents want their children to be smart and clever, well-behaved, and excellent in learning and moral character, so that they can take fewer detours and suffer less setbacks, in fact, in the end, they are all for the good of their children.
It's just that sometimes, when parents care too much, it is easy to drill the horns, complicate things, and easily fall into the situation of the authorities, my sister is obviously like this.
dispose
Seeing that the mother and son were deadlocked, I quickly played the round field and took the little nephew back to his small room, I always thought: the little nephew is still young, there must be his reason for doing things, do not easily label the good, guide him to recognize the mistake, than beat him up, more useful.
The question now is not what to do with the money, but to find out why the little nephew took the money.
Open the deadlock and make good use of empathy
The little nephew is a stubborn temper, the most unsaved, but today was beaten, look at his appearance is still in the wrong, I guess, before everyone was busy getting angry, must not have noticed to soothe his emotions.
So I touched his little head and sighed, "It must hurt, right?" When my aunt was a child, she was also beaten, one by one on her calves, but it hurt, and she cried a handful of tears and a handful of snot. ”
Sure enough, the little guy who had not said a word before and did not let me see it, "Wow" cried out, I pulled up his pants leg, and sure enough, a large piece of red.
Crying enough, the little guy was a little embarrassed, but he still remembered what I said about being beaten: "Will the little aunt also be beaten?" ”
Doesn't this, the stalemate, open?
Timely appeasement, leaving no shadow
Because my sister is in the field of work and busy at work, she has only been transferred back to her hometown in recent years, and my little nephew followed my mother until she was 3 years old. In order to avoid the separation of mother and child, it is important to appease in time.
"When my aunt was a child, she was naughty, throwing things around, running around on the road, and being beaten many times?" My heart is wronged. ”
Probably not having heard of the troubles of adults when they were young, the little nephew listened very fascinated and asked, "So, will you hate your mother?" "Look, the little kid is really kind, he doesn't say hate, only hate.
"How could it be? Throwing things can make people fall, and running on the road can be hit by a car. If you want to get an injection, it hurts many times more than you do now. In fact, our mothers love us, afraid that we will encounter danger, but they are too concerned about us too much will always be a little silly, easy to talk loudly, and may also be frightened to say that they want to beat us, don't look at the mother hit you today, she must regret dying, and now she must be hiding in the room crying! ”
The little guy sneaked a look, and when he came back, his eyes lit up.
Lead the questioning, not label
"Tell your aunt, have you learned new knowledge?" For example, will you distinguish between the renminbi? ”
The little guy was very excited: "Yes! ”
"Come, I'll test you." Saying, I took out my wallet and took out 1 yuan, 5 yuan, 10 yuan, 20 yuan, 50 yuan, and 100 yuan banknotes respectively, and made a gesture to test him.
The little guy answered very correctly, and I took the opportunity to give him a little science about the things that different money can buy, and the little guy was very interested.
At the end, I sighed: "Unfortunately, I lost 100 yuan today, and I was going to buy you a carton of milk." ”
Unexpectedly, the little guy instantly collapsed his face: "I also lost 100 yuan!" ”
At this point, the beginning and end of stealing money has finally surfaced. It turned out that one of the little nephew's friends brought a 20 yuan note to show off to everyone. The little nephew knows money and knows where the money in the family is, so he says that he has more money, and the friends don't believe it.
So, he took the largest denomination of rmb and went out to show it to the children, and coincidentally: when he took the money, my mother just left the room.
In the eyes of the little nephew, taking money to show children is the same as taking toys to show children, except that toys are larger and less expensive. Adults don't think so, and the first time they think of it as "stealing".
What's more coincidental is that after reading the money to the children, the little nephew did not take it seriously, and he did not know when he lost the money.
As a result, the family looked at it, did not know where the money was spent, stole the money and did not admit it, under the deep responsibility of love, they would save the three churches, and finally found out that it was an oolong.
epilogue
In fact, children do not have so many twists and turns, they can do whatever they want, even if adults think that stealing, in their eyes, it is just as simple as eating and sleeping.
And what adults think of stealing is that they know that this kind of theft is immoral or even illegal, but they still insist on doing it.
The essence of the two is different.
Therefore, when a child takes something and does not tell the family, the best way is to calm down, say the reason, and guide correctly, which is much more useful than beating the child.
Children's words and deeds are formed under the subtlety of family, and children who are nourished by love and understanding are often richer in their hearts and will get more kindness in life.