Everyone feels tired and wants to stop and rest, wait until they are full of energy, and set off again on the road to struggle. However, some young people are in a state of "lying flat", they don't want to work hard all their lives, they just want to live a life like rice worms, which is the sadness of parental education.
A netizen mother, her son is 27 years old, after graduating from college, he found several jobs, are too tired, do not do it. As a result, the child began to live a "lying flat" life at home. He doesn't work, he doesn't fall in love, he doesn't go out, he just lies at home and plays with his phone every day.
At first, his parents always advised him to go out and find a job, and he was always perfunctory, but later, as soon as his parents mentioned looking for a job, he locked the bedroom door and did not want to listen to them.
The child's parents are both civil servants, and although they have retired, their retirement salaries are not low. Mom and Dad both went to college from the countryside and then to the civil service, all the way by their own efforts. When the child grows up, his parents have never let him be wronged, and always want to provide him with the best living conditions.
When I was a child, my children could learn step by step, my parents were supervising me, and my teachers were very strict. However, since the child went to high school, he was no longer obedient, and under the coercion and temptation of his parents, he was finally admitted to a university. However, after graduating from college, I actually became such a state.
The parents cut off their son's living expenses in order to get his son out to work, but the child did not spend a penny for a month, as long as he had enough to eat.
Mom said, "We're not going to give you a penny anymore." The son actually said to her: "As long as you can't bear to starve to death, I can do it, sooner or later your money is mine." ”
There are many children like this, whether they are studying or working, they need parental supervision to act, without a little autonomy. Our predecessors did not have enough to eat and wear, but they made great efforts to change their destiny. What's wrong with kids now?
Children who do not have a sense of value and achievement are not willing to make efforts
Some psychologists have pointed out that the motivation of children to study hard and work is mainly derived from his sense of security, values and sense of accomplishment. If the child does not feel the value of his own efforts, and he has no sense of achievement in his efforts, why should he work hard?
We are willing to study hard because we know that academic qualifications will allow us to find a job that we like and live a better life. If all the actions of the child are to listen to the words of the parents, without their own ideas, and without the joy of success, he will lose the sense of value of hard work.
Parents raise children, to let children learn and work have a strong internal driving force, let him become a positive person, in the process of educating children to pay attention to the following points.
A. Parents should not always reprimand their children, but give their children more understanding and support.
When the child encounters failure, or is physically and mentally exhausted and wants to rest, parents should not always criticize and ridicule the child. When the child is mentally tired or suffers a blow, it is necessary for parents to understand, and the parents' reprimand will make him more depressed, or even give up trying to change, or even break the jar.
The correct way for parents to educate should be to help their children find solutions to problems, give their children enough understanding, time, and support, and guide him to regain the confidence to study hard. When the child makes an effort, the parents should see the child's progress and give the child support and affirmation.
B. Parents should spend more time with their children and give their children a sense of security.
When children fail to learn or do wrong things, parents should not treat their children with a cold attitude of "I don't care about you" and "I don't want you". When children are frustrated, they need the company of their parents more, which is the source of children's sense of security.
When the child is not in the state, the parents should accompany him and tell the child: you just work hard, don't be afraid of failure, mom and dad will always be your strongest backing. The companionship of parents will give the child a sense of peace of mind and let him regain his confidence to start.
C. Take your children out to see more and cultivate your child's internal drive.
Why should I study hard? We tell the child that it is better to take the child out to see. We take our children to see different universities and feel the atmosphere of college students' life and learning. Go to the university's library
Look at those who are trying to learn, what kind of state they are in.
We can also take our children to their places of work to see and let them know that every grain of rice is bought with sweat. If your parents don't work hard, they can't get your happy life. Understanding that it is not easy for parents to live, children can learn to be grateful and have the motivation to work hard for a better life.
Parents can also take their children to different public places to see, airports, subways, train stations, all kinds of people are a good education for children. Everyone strives to a different degree, the life is also different, what kind of person you want to become, what kind of effort you have to make.
D. Parents should cultivate their children's independence from an early age.
The child's poor independence is due to the fact that the parents dot on the child. If you always do things in place of your child, he will become heavily dependent on his parents. Mom and Dad can always arrange it, why should the child work hard?
Therefore, doing your own thing is the best way to motivate. In the process of continuous growth and progress, the child gains confidence and has strong independence, and he will certainly not become a "giant baby".
Interactive Topic: Parents, is your child motivated to learn?