Wen | the original diary of The Little Fish Daddy, welcome to forward and share personally
Since becoming a mother, whether in public or at home, the most feared thing is to hear my children cry. The child is like "Lin Daiyu possessed", and a little thing can cry with pear blossoms and rain.
I believe that there are many parents like me, do not like children crying and crying, and always feel that the children who shed tears at every turn are too weak, but those children who rarely shed tears are more likable.
About the child's crying is actually also learned, many times the child cries, parents will quickly analyze and find the reason, in fact, crying is not the cause, but the result of the child's behavior.
Why should a child cry?
First, cry when there is a need:
When you can't express it or can't express it clearly, when the baby has various needs such as thirst, hunger, and cold, it must attract the attention of parents, and crying is the best weapon at this time.
Second, physical discomfort:
The baby is sick and uncomfortable or bumps where there is a painful feeling, it must be expressed, and the crying at this time is to indicate that the body is abnormal.
Third, the expression of bad emotions:
Like adults, children will also have sadness, unhappiness, grievances, anxiety and other emotions, and it is inevitable to cry when they are emotionally frustrated.
Fourth, a means of threat:
When there is a need to meet or want to achieve a certain goal, crying is the best means for children, using cries and tears to win the sympathy of parents, and over time they will use crying as a small plan to pinch their parents.
The first two kinds of crying are actually a language of children, to put it bluntly, crying is helpful to children and parents, but in the face of the latter two kinds of crying, should we let the child cry or stop in time?
Crying or not crying has a long-term impact on a child's personality
In the cognition of adults, children crying is easier to be forgiven than adults crying, and girls crying is easier to get parental tolerance than boys crying, and even sometimes parents hope that children can swallow back the grievances that come to their mouths.
Very few parents can realize that their child's "crying" affects their personality. Crying is an emotional venting, only by crying out, negative emotions can be vented, if the child is not allowed to vent, then these emotions will always pile up, and eventually affect the child's personality.
When children endure not to cry, many parents will be complacent, thinking that their children understand things and are more mature in personality. On the contrary, if the child can hold back from crying, most of them have formed a "flattering personality" under long-term neglect.
To put it bluntly, it is that the child sacrifices his right to express his emotions in order to please his parents, in order not to lose the attention and love of his parents, forcing himself to endure emotional and physical discomfort, in order to please his parents, growing up in such an environment, there will be defects in personality that cannot be repaired.
Children who cry at every turn and who endure not to cry will grow up to be very different
First, there is a clear difference in empathy
Crying children have a variety of reasons, so they can detect and find out the causes more quickly in the face of other people's emotional changes, because they have strong empathy, so they will be more attentive and sensitive than their peers.
In the program, He Jiong explained that he never cried when he was alone, and only when he felt empathy for the experience of others, there would be corresponding emotions.
Second, there are strong and weak regulations of emotions
Crying and crying are not manifestations of cowardice, but many people vent negative emotions by crying, and after crying, they completely get rid of the problem of negative emotions.
Children who endure not crying seem to be strong, but they are often easily trapped by negative emotions, have poor ability to regulate emotions, and will not vent reasonably.
Finally, the level of happiness in life varies
Children who often cry are more likely to regulate their feelings, empathy and the ability to regulate emotions are also very strong, both to help themselves and to help the people around them, such people are often more popular, but also can feel more happiness and happiness;
And children who endure not to cry are easy to become cold-blooded and ruthless people when they grow up, although they also have a vulnerable side, but because they will not reasonably vent their emotions, they will lead to more depression.
Crying as a kind of emotional expression of children, and laughter, should be respected and understood by parents, parents should also encourage children to express, become a healthy personality and psychology, do not let children be emotionally alone!