Wen | snow fell without dust
Some women believe that as long as they give true love, they will reap happiness, so they give all their love for each other. However, they did not get the happiness they wanted, and what they got was the other's inch.
Feelings are a matter for two people, whether it's a responsibility, an obligation, or something else. The efforts of one person cannot fulfill the happiness of two people.
So, no matter how much you love someone, don't lose yourself. You should save yourself before you manage your feelings, so that you will be more confident.
Therefore, the more you love a man, the more you should do the "three noes", and he will value you more.
01
First: Don't lose yourself in love
Loving and being loved is based on mutual respect, and if you are too self-absorbed in your feelings, it is hurtful to yourself. Who will respect you if you don't value yourself?
Friend Xiaolu, who has a good personality and a beautiful appearance, was introduced to a boyfriend.
In the beginning, the boyfriend was very good to her because she was beautiful and spoke well. Will take the initiative to drive her to and from work, buy her fruit, and work out with her.
But then everything changed. Later, the boyfriend simply dumped her.
Analyze the reason why Xiaolu was dumped, that is, she lost herself in love and lost the direction of life.
When the two people fell in love, Xiao Lu listened to her boyfriend. When you go out and play together, you have to wear clothes that your boyfriend likes; when you eat together, you have to eat your boyfriend's favorite meals; even when you talk to your girlfriend, you have to greet your boyfriend first.
Over time, she lost her attraction to her boyfriend, and the two broke up.
There is a saying: "You can't lose yourself if you love someone, otherwise once you lose, you won't even find a way back, you can only go to the abyss of a broken bridge." ”
Without self-love, you think it's love, but the other person will think you're no longer important.
Once love is given in the wrong way, it will only make itself lose completely.
Love is beautiful, if you manage love in the right way, two people will be happier and happier, and there will be no consequences of you losing and winning, you respect me, and even break up.
So, loving someone can give a lot, but never lose yourself for him.
02
Second: Don't paste it upside down in love
Girls can take the initiative in love, but don't "paste it upside down".
In the TV series "The World of Man", Chunyan is a lively and cheerful, enthusiastic and generous girl. At a friend party, she was taken in by Cao Debao, and Chunyan herself also had the meaning of liking Cao Debao.
After that, the two people naturally had a "relationship" because of your affection. However, this way of upside down the girl has become the handle for Cao Debao to pinch Chunyan for a lifetime.
Chunyan is very good at living a life, but Cao Debao does not cherish marriage and looks for other women outside behind her back.
In fact, Cao Debao looked down on Chun Yan in his heart. He once said to his brother behind his back that Chunyan was "low-dry", which means that the marriage between the two people was Chunyan herself taking the initiative to marry him.
In the feelings, blindly pleasing can not be exchanged for true love, women can take the initiative, but can not easily "upside down".
Love should be a balance between the two ends of the scale, in addition to responsibilities, obligations, and of course self-esteem. Therefore, women sticking upside down in their feelings will only make men look down on you, and even do not take you as a person after marriage.
True love is exchanged for sincerity, not for love, at the expense of lowering one's personality.
Maybe when he is thirsty, you buy him a cup of tea, which will touch his heart; but if you lower your personality in exchange for love, then even if you take everything, you will not be able to exchange his true feelings for you.
In love, girls must have self-respect and self-love.
03
Third: Don't be afraid to be single in love
Yang Kasa said: "Before falling in love, I was dashing and free, emotionally stable, and all the beauty in the world was in me. But after falling in love, fragile and suspicious, hysterical, like the heroine in Qiong Yao's drama. ”
In real life, many women are like this. When it comes to love, you will suffer from gains and losses, and think wildly. This is actually a manifestation of the lack of "single power".
Singleness is to have an independent space, an independent personality, and an independent life, not to be unmarried, or to refuse marriage and resist love. Two people together are happy, and when they are not together, one person is also very good.
However, there are many women in the relationship, for love to lose the single force, and eventually lose miserably.
In "If the Years Can Be Turned Back", Bai Zhiyong's wife is called Jingya, and the two people have been married for nearly 20 years from the realization, but Jingya is still clinging to Bai Zhiyong.
Jing Ya is always used to two people sticking together, letting Bai Zhiyong be on call. But Bai Zhiyong has his own life, he is very tired of Jingya's behavior, he feels that playing cards and drinking with friends is more relaxed than staying around Jingya.
In the end, one bored, one disappointed, two people divorced.
Like Jingya, when Lan Tianyu's wife Shangguan Hui filed for divorce, she also complained that Lan Tianyu only did her own thing, did not care about her, did not accompany her to buy vegetables, and did not accompany her to the store.
In the relationship, what we crave is comfort and ease, not repression and hardship, not two people tightly tied together, unable to breathe freely.
Instead, each should have its own things to do, not affect each other, and make progress together.
Women should maintain a certain "single force", learn to leave blank feelings, and leave space for each other. Face every day with an independent, happy, and comrade-in-arms mentality.
Good feelings are that two people are good, but one person can also be happy; independent of each other, but dependent on each other.
Feelings are fragile, we must understand that taking care of ourselves is entitled to take care of each other; each maintains a "single force", and each other is good to get better and better.
04
Loving a man again, and not doing that to him, will only make yourself "cheap".
Carnegie said: "Love a person to have a degree, leave a little self, will have self-esteem, so that your efforts, others will also value." ”
No matter how much you love someone, you must also grasp the measure, and if you don't grasp the measure well, it is easy to achieve the opposite effect. In the world of feelings, be a little more reserved, don't lose your bottom line, otherwise you will either feel at ease or gain inches.
Women, love a person to have a degree, first love yourself and then love others.
May you be a kind and gentle woman, take care of yourself, and take good care of your lover, and be happy for a lifetime.