"Don't listen to your mother's stupid words!" Giving the other half a bad review is to "stab the knife" in the child's heart.

ka Author | Afternoon tea for napping

My girlfriend sent me a private message, which made me feel very bad.

Yesterday, while cleaning up the dishes, she accidentally broke a bowl.

When her husband saw it, he frowned and muttered in front of his daughter, "Waste-like, hairy, you don't want to bring your child like this!"

She was very aggrieved: "Why do you always say that people are 'waste'?" I didn't mean it."

My daughter was only 7 years old, probably hurting her, and came to hug her tightly, and the corners of her eyes were red.

She was worried that the child would have a shadow in her heart.

She is gentle and tolerant, and every time she is counted down by her husband, she does not refute much, afraid that quarrels will not be good for children. She told her husband privately that she hoped he could change this problem, but he didn't think so: "Just talk, you can also criticize me!" 」

In life, there are many parents who always unconsciously give each other a "bad evaluation" or "bad evaluation" to each other and belittle each other.

They may not realize that such a "denigrating" relationship casts a shadow on the child's psyche and will bring unforeseen harm.

Giving the other half a bad review is to "stab the knife" in the child's heart

Once I went to the hospital and saw a little boy playing with hanging bottles, and his mother was taking care of him. The mother couldn't stop complaining to the child: "Why hasn't your stinky father arrived yet?" "He's too procrastinating, it's really unconscious..."

The boy was already in a bad spirit, and when he heard his mother "carrying a gun and a stick" counting down his father, he did not make a sound.

Later, the boy's father arrived, and the mother continued to complain about the father. Dad couldn't help but return the mouth: "Always nagging, who has been with you who is upset!" Don't you believe asking the child to see if he bothers you..."

The couple seems to have become accustomed to such "mutual pity". But the little boy covered his ears at this time and said loudly, "Mommy and Daddy, don't talk!" I want to sleep for a while!"

They are all the people who love themselves the most, but they suppress each other in front of him, thinking about how uncomfortable it is for children?

Since a friend got divorced, he often criticized her ex-husband in front of her daughter, saying that he was improper, unreliable, etc., and even the toys bought by her ex-husband for her daughter had to be thrown into the trash can by her disgust...

In fact, putting aside the emotional problems between the two, her ex-husband has always been good to the child, as long as the daughter has the need to contribute money, and it is not as bad as she said. The love that the daughter felt in her father's side returned to her mother but was devalued to nothing. Sandwiched in the middle makes the child confused, and the personality is becoming more and more withdrawn.

Psychologist research shows that children will identify with themselves by identifying with their parents, and the advantages and disadvantages of their parents will slowly be internalized into their own personality.

If parents always degrade and attack each other in front of their children, so that the warm home becomes a cold trial court, it will only make him panic and split in his heart, very confused, contradictory and confused, and even more unable to identify with his parents and himself.

In the long run, children will become inferior, sensitive, insecure and happy.

When you give your other half a bad review, you are "stabbing a knife" in the child's heart.

Parents love to dismantle the stage, and it is not only the parent-child relationship that is broken

I saw a message on the Internet for help:

A mother whose knowledge and earning ability are not as good as her husband's, her husband often laughs at her for being a "dead brain", and triumphantly tells her daughter: "Daddy is smarter than Mommy!"

These "demolition" words are too much, and the daughter looks down on her mother a little. She didn't let her mother show her homework, and she didn't even let her pick her up.

Mom was depressed. Dad was unaware of her, and often used her as a negative teaching material to "educate" the child: "Your mother is making so much money now because she didn't study well when she was a child, so you must work hard."

The mother asked helplessly, "What can I do to win the respect of my husband and children?"

After the father's inadvertent "dwarfing", in the eyes of the child, the image of the mother has long collapsed, becoming an incompetent and stupid person, with no authority to speak of. How can a child sincerely respect his mother and agree with his mother's teachings?

Once watched a video. In the mall, a woman asked her husband to take off his shirt, get on his knees, and yell at him, punching and kicking.

What is disturbing is that her little daughter actually learned the appearance of her mother, holding a shoe, taking small steps upside down, rushing over and slapping her father!

Psychological experts believe that parents denigrate the other half in front of the child, or pull the child to stand in line, will make the child's psychology distorted and divided, and will have a great impact on the child's future personality, feelings, and marriage.

Parents who are accustomed to demolishing taiwan will not only "tear down" a parent-child relationship, but also "tear down" their children's growth path.

Love children, know how to "support the scene" for their partners

Family psychotherapist Fran. "It's important for parents not to criticize or blame each other in front of their children," Wolfesh said. Parents should support and love each other in the eyes of their children."

Love the child, know how to respect the other half, in front of the child, give the other half enough "scene".

Don't blame anything

Parents should be more considerate and tolerant of each other, know how to save some face for each other when things happen, maintain each other's image in front of their children, and not ridicule each other in front of their children.

For this, there is a pair of friends who have been doing very well.

The wife is not good at cooking, and when baking cakes, she accidentally presses the wrong pattern and bakes them half-cooked. The husband immediately comforted and said, "It doesn't matter, it proves that you still have room for improvement!"

When we went out on an outing together, the husband drove the wrong road and took a long detour, and the wife thoughtfully said, "I didn't expect the scenery on this side of the road to be so beautiful."

There is something behind the problem

If the husband and wife have an argument, try to avoid the child, communicate privately to solve it, and do not break out in front of the child and bring harm to him. If an argument inevitably occurs, be sure to comfort the child in time and explain it to him well.

Tell the child,

"Quarrels are Mom and Dad's business, it has nothing to do with you."

"Even if we quarrel, we are still the closest family."

"No matter what, our love for you will not change."

Give your partner more thumbs up

In the entertainment industry, Cai Shaofen and Zhang Jin are famous for their praise couple.

Cai Shaofen never hid his admiration for her husband, saying that he not only danced well, martial arts, sang well, was talented, and rarely had a good temper... Simply the perfect husband.

Zhang Jin also has a deep affection for his wife, he said, "Some people say that I have to rely on my wife Cai Shaofen all my life. Yes, my happiness in this life depends on her, my wife, Cai Shaofen."

Both husband and wife should discover each other's advantages and give each other "likes", rather than criticizing and complaining to each other in front of the child, pulling the child to stand in line, and making the child embarrassed and afraid.

There is a saying that makes a lot of sense:

"Parents are the two pillars of the child's world, and if these two pillars are not only not harmonious, but also point out to each other's height and instability, doesn't that mean that the child's world has become low and narrow, and may even collapse?" 」

The quality of the relationship between parents determines the quality of a child's growing environment.

When parents respect and love each other and get along harmoniously, children will also have a warm and sunny life background.

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