On August 17, 2018, in Tianjin, young people take photos in front of the confession wall of a shopping mall. /Visual China
It's a little sad that one Ayawawa falls, and there will be the next one.
It is hard to imagine that in China, the education of love is so scarce. We are taught from an early age to be honest, upright, kind, and to be useful to society, but no one has taught us how to love others, and how to accept and respond to the love of others.
How many people, under the joint efforts of parents and teachers, experience the taste of the flame of adolescent love being ruthlessly extinguished, but in the year of approaching, suddenly face the trouble of being urged to marry. When the stress and anxiety of marriage strikes, people who are in a hurry to go to the doctor have to learn from emotional bloggers and experts, and Ayawawa is undoubtedly the most successful of them.
Around 2015, Ayawawa took advantage of the East Wind of the Weibo dividend era to stand out among a group of emotional bloggers with a clear theoretical framework and systematic operation ideas, attracting a large number of supporters.
Her masterpiece "The Secret of perfect relationship" became a secret circulation for girls at that time. The black words in the book — MV (Mate Value), PU (Paternity Uncertainty), rocks, scissors, and cloth — have also become exclusive terms for communicating emotional issues between "baby fans."
The Secret of the Perfect Relationship
In the years that followed, the controversial Ayawawa experienced polemics and crusades, but this did not affect her growing popularity in the slightest. Until 2018, Ayawawa was banned for making inappropriate remarks, and to this day, its Weibo still appears as a blank.
In 2018, Ayawawa was banned.
6 years have passed, and some of the ignorant little girls who did not know how to fall in love have already married and had children. After experiencing the baptism of love and marriage, some of them still believe in Ayawawa, and some of them jump out of the "baby study" and look at the former self with a critical eye.
Girls' "Sunflower Book"
Ran Ran always remembers how she felt when she first came into contact with Ayawawa theory: "Daigo empowerment, everything is right. ”
Ran Ran is a typical rich girl, with good academic performance, strong from childhood, and the boys in the class think that she is a bully, but she is too cold and not close. In 2015, Ran Ran, who was still a senior in college, received a gift from her girlfriend, "The Secret of perfect relationship" by Ayawawa. After turning a few pages, Ran Ran felt that it was too ridiculous, so she did not continue to look down.
Later, after experiencing several periods of unsettling feelings, Ran Ran, who was depressed, opened the book and was suddenly attracted by the theory in the book.
Can a book really tell you what love is? /Pink Girl
"Ayawawa's theory is dominated by MV, PU and 'shear cloth'. Simply put, the MV is your value in the marriage market, and PU can be understood as giving men a sense of security and reliability. Ran Ran explained, "Scissors refer to lover-like people, and the mate selection strategy is to steal dolls; the stone refers to the single-minded ordinary person; and the cloth refers to the high-level provider of polygamy, who has strong economic strength but does not provide emotional value." ”
According to Ayawawa's theory, "cloth women" and "scissor men" are official matches, but often the feelings are not smooth. Ran Ran rates herself as a "cloth girl", and every time she falls in love, she will always fall in love with the handsome-looking "scissors man" who is good at rhetoric, and will unconsciously spend money for each other, which is in line with Ayawawa's "female cloth male scissors" mode of getting along.
In Ayawawa's theory, women should try to improve their "scissors" as much as possible, specifically losing weight, improving their beauty, and providing emotional value to each other. Convinced of this, Ran Ran decided to start with the easiest way to lose weight and improve her beauty, and made up her mind to start losing weight, and even did micro-rectification.
Later, when contacting the newly recognized opposite sex, Ran Ran will consciously control her "cloth sex", no longer take the initiative to give boys valuable gifts, and at the same time show more of her gentle, small woman's side. Before each date, Ran spends at least an hour carefully dressing up, curling her hair into big waves, and wearing light-colored, neighborhood-looking clothes according to Ayawawa's instructions.
At about the same time, Liu Weiwei, who was in the pain of lost love, also came into contact with Ayawawa. Because of the boyfriend's parents' opposition, the boyfriend at the time and Liu Weiwei proposed to break up, which made her miserable for a while. At this time, one of Liu Weiwei's girlfriends who married into the rich family recommended Ayawawa to her.
Ayawawa wrote in the book that after a breakup, even if it is uncomfortable, it will be completely disconnected. Liu Weiwei decided to follow Ayawawa's guidance, so she completely cut off contact with her boyfriend and went to Yunnan for a business trip. Unexpectedly, the next day after returning from a business trip in Yunnan, Liu Weiwei actually met her boyfriend when she was visiting the mall.
People in love tend to be involuntarily superstitious about some metaphysics. /"We Can't Be Beasts"
It turned out that the boyfriend still remembered her after breaking up with her, that day coincided with the boyfriend's birthday, he thought of Liu Weiwei's favorite shopping mall to go around, to see if he could meet her, did not expect that the two really met in a milk tea shop that Liu Weiwei often went to. The two who believed in fate were pleasantly surprised and reconciled.
Since this incident, Liu Weiwei has become more and more convinced of Ayawawa. She began to read Ayawawa's writings carefully, marking the classic words in the books with markers. "High MV and low PU have to be long-term (long-term mate selection), so improving MV and lowering PU is the direction that a woman has to work on all her life." Liu Weiwei said.
"I only care about what I get"
Senior "Baby Fan" Si Si not only purchased a full set of Ayawawa books, but also spent more than 1,000 yuan to buy a one-year new book series of big planet members launched by Ayawawa in "Knowledge Planet", but she felt that the money was worth it.
Before being exposed to Ayawawa's theory, Sisi liked to make trouble in love. After reading Ayawawa's theory, Si Si realized the harm and seriousness of the relationship caused by "bursting PU", so she decided to follow Ayawawa to be a "soft mouth and hard heart" girl. "Many people do it because they have too high expectations for love, and the other party can't meet their expectations." But I don't get away with it, I just care about what I get. She said.
"Ayawawa teases out a clear love framework for me, allowing me to quickly judge where I am in the relationship and adjust myself to the attributes of the other person." Si Si said, "Since you have determined the attributes of the other party, you can completely follow his favorite aspects." Because he doesn't know these things, the person who is always awake is you, and you are the one who can control the rhythm. ”
Si Si's current boyfriend is a music student, likes fitness, looks handsome, has long hair, likes to spray perfume, and has talked about many ex-girlfriends. In SiSi's view, this is the performance of the core "cut". In the early days of the relationship, Si Si found that her boyfriend was still chatting with other girls ambiguously, and she adopted what Ayawawa called the "retreat" strategy, showing her boyfriend her bottom line, and then firmly mentioned breaking up.
On June 4, 2020, Shanghai, the bicycle love relay in the "Incredible Stress Relief Pavilion" to combat the stress of life through fun and funny scene displays and creative interactive games. / Visual China
Because si si has been actively pursuing her boyfriend before, the boyfriend heard this and was confused on the spot. A week later, the regretful boyfriend found the slightest recomplication and promised that he would never repeat the crime. The matter was turned over generously, because in Ayawawa's theory, frequent flipping of old accounts is also an act of "bursting THE PU".
Si Si rated herself as "stone" and the official match was "cloth man", but she still chose her current boyfriend whose core was "cut". Therefore, she does not dare to relax and improve her "scissors" at any time, and strives to maintain her body and maintain her emotional stability. What makes Si Si happy is that the boyfriend actively promotes the relationship and also takes Si Si to meet his own parents, and the two plan to complete the marriage this year.
Si Si found that now the boyfriend is "petrified", that is, more and more like a "stone man". He no longer works out, has a small belly on his stomach, and does not pay attention to dressing up as before, which makes her feel a lot relieved.
Is "baby learning" obsolete?
The world of love is full of uncertainty, and Ayawawa's brilliance lies in reducing complex love to a quantifiable, one-size-fits-all formula. While enjoying the shortcuts brought by these formulas, the "baby fans" are also suffering from the pressure and anxiety brought about by the repeated measurements of these formulas and algorithms.
Liu Weiwei, who has married and had children with her boyfriend and wants to marry and teach her son, will still often feel anxious about her body. "When my kids are older, I'll definitely find time to go to the gym." She said.
At a time when Ayawawa's Weibo was not yet banned, Si Si participated in the photo-scoring activities organized by her organization. Netizens commented on her as 6 points, that is, "little beautiful beauty". But Si Si was still not very satisfied with her appearance. "Sometimes I think I'm good-looking, sometimes I think I'm ugly." That's how she said about herself.
Ayawawa invented the Weibo appearance score.
In order to enhance her "scissor" nature, Si Si planned to cut her double eyelids and do micro-finishing, but she was stopped by her boyfriend. "This shows that his 'scissor sex' is getting weaker, and the 'scissor man' never cares whether his girlfriend goes for plastic surgery or not, just take it out and have face." Silk said.
Only Ran Ran woke up from the "baby study" and felt that she was not more popular because of the "scissors" improvement that Ayawawa said, but because becoming good-looking and emotionally stable were the two qualities that were very good in mate selection. However, they were packaged by Ayawawa with a set of evolutionary psychology and transformed into "baby science".
After changing the "cut", Ran Ran did have a greater choice in mate selection. But she will still be attracted to the so-called "scissor" boys with high emotional intelligence, humor, and dressing. This is a big taboo in the eyes of "baby fans", but Ran Ran feels that boys have a little "scissor" sex, and there is nothing wrong with coaxing themselves to be happy. "Why must it be that women sacrifice themselves to coax men to be happy in order to get married?" Ran Ran said.
Today, Ran Ran will still maintain her fitness habits and will also do medical aesthetic projects. But she now feels that she is doing all this for herself, because only a better self can deserve a better partner. Many people think that Ayawawa is teaching women how to charm men, but Ran Ran feels that Ayawawa is just teaching people to deal with intimate relationships with an unusually cold-blooded and sober perspective.
Ayawawa never discusses love, she only talks about relationships, as she claims herself: "I'm a very social Darwinist person." As the title of one of her books suggests—don't take men as animals—perhaps in Ayawawa's eyes, her own theories and words are nothing more than a way to control men's routines.
Commenting on the controversy with Mimon, Ayawawa once said: "We are two completely different ethnic groups, Mimon is a mother's love algorithm, which will make you feel good; and I am a father's love algorithm, which will tell you how to do it." ”
September 11, 2021, Chengdu, Sichuan, off-order convenience store. /IC
Although she no longer believes in "baby learning", Ran Ran still believes that Ayawawa is a smart person who knows how to judge the hour and size up the situation and maximize the wealth of emotional business according to the laws of the times. As Ayawawa commented in the face of others saying that she was an accomplice to the patriarchal society: "They want a feminist society that encourages women to make more money and men to remain beautiful." They are loud, but not necessarily numerous. I don't think that's going to happen in 50 years. ”
But she clearly underestimated the process of equal development of men and women in China. Whether it is Ran Ran, Si Si or Liu Weiwei, it is obvious that Ayawawa's theory is not as popular as it was 6 years ago. Even a hardcore "baby fan" like Silk does not dare to declare himself a "baby fan" to his friends around him.
But it's a little sad that one Ayawawa falls, and there will be the next one. Since Ayawawa was silenced on Weibo, a vacuum has been created in the field. "Baby" emotional blogger you fang sang me on the stage, as a marriage planner continues to sell anxiety to women. Their operating model is the same as Ayawawa's, selling food boot camps, fat loss and weight loss courses while doing emotional case analysis, most of which are expensive.
Perhaps, as the female psychologist Gillettegan said: "The most tragic thing for women is not the discrimination and inequality they face in this society, but the subconscious recognition of all this in their hearts, the generation of dependence on men and the right to decide, the right to put themselves in a position of reasonable inferiority, lack of confidence and courage in themselves." ”
Author | Zhou Dieyao
Typography | Tamago ware
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