In our family life, it is often possible that when we have a stalemate with the child because of something, the child's grandparents go to the child's side and gently pat the child's head, and the child will obediently go with the grandparents and ignore us; when the child makes a mistake and we want to educate and punish the child, the grandparents come to the child and say: "He is just a child..." These "reasons" make parents very speechless and helpless.
Why do children prefer grandparents, I believe parents can give answers: grandparents love children in every way, everything comes from children, can children and the elderly not kiss?
It is indeed a common situation for parents to be separated from generation to generation, but many times, the education methods of parents and grandparents are different, and the educational concept is far from the same, which will lead to many contradictions and will also affect the education of parents to their children. Parents must acknowledge the love of grandparents for their children and the benefits of intergenerational education: grandparents have experience in raising and educating children; grandparents have the energy and patience to accompany and educate children; and the joy of heaven is also beneficial to ensuring the health and mentality of the elderly.
Do not exclude the elderly from contacting children because some of the "love children" behavior with the elderly is inappropriate, we can communicate and cooperate. We all hope that under the premise of love, grandparents can cooperate with parents to do a good job in family education.
We can work with grandparents like this:
First, communicate with the child's grandparents once a week, and the two sides reach a unified educational standard.
The biggest problem encountered in wanting to involve children's grandparents and grandmothers in family education is: unified education standards.
Parents usually distress: there are grandparents present, the child will be willful, do not talk about the rules at all, the child's grandparents protect the child and say: "The child is still young and does not understand things, it is good to grow up" Many times the grandparents become a shield for the child, ignoring the authority of the parents and the parents.
In order to establish the authority of parents and better implement the education of their children, parents and grandparents need to maintain communication at all times to reach a unified standard of education. As long as you patiently speak to the elderly thoroughly and clearly, let the elderly know that your standards are for the long-term development of the child in the future, for the child to be more excellent in the future, the elderly can understand you and implement your educational standards to the end.
Second, tell grandparents: don't "serve the whole process" about your children.
Some elderly people provide children with high-quality services such as washing their faces, dressing, feeding, and picking up and dropping off at school from early in the morning, and only when the children fall asleep at night are relieved. Watching the old man work so hard for the child at an old age, we are lamenting that the old man loves the child and is also worried about the growth of the child, so waiting for these "little princes" and "little princesses", what will they look like in the future?
Although the love of the grandparents is strong, it is not a good thing for the growth of the child, so as a parent, when you decide to let the children's grandparents participate in the family education, you must tell them not to serve the whole process of the child's affairs, let the child do what he can, do not help, give the child the opportunity to do it himself, he can become independent, autonomous and excellent in the road to growth.
Third, tell grandparents: for the child's mistakes, do not wrap the shelter short.
Many times the elderly do not even understand the situation, began to continue to excuse the child, the old man with the child will make the biggest mistake: is to protect the short. No matter what mistake the child makes, the old man will take the child in his arms to excuse the child, and it is not a big deal that the child is still young and does not understand things. When a child has an argument with someone else, the old man will cover up his grandson without asking the reason.
The old man may think that it is a manifestation of his love for his children, but in fact, he lets his children go astray on the road to growth! The package is short, so that the child becomes fearless and loses the standard of right and wrong. Children in the primary school stage do not have a clear standard of right and wrong judgment, if the grandparents always cover up their mistakes, the children will really think that they are not wrong, and will go farther and farther on the wrong road! Therefore, in the intergenerational education, parents must clearly tell the child's grandparents to make mistakes about the child, and do not cover the short of protection.
Grandparents love their grandchildren and granddaughters, but the times are inconsistent and inconsistent with the parents' educational philosophy, but this still does not hinder our common hope that our children will become successful. Parents can work with grandparents to educate their children that "we are allies rather than enemies", so that children will have more family warmth on the road of growth, and will go more steadily and farther!