The requirements of the fathers for the next generation: to study well and win glory for their parents; when the children are young, they all listen to their parents, study well, and get good grades; they can't fall in love at school, and the children are obedient.
Until high school graduation, college graduation, no contact with the opposite sex, no friends of the opposite sex. After going to work, there is an opportunity to contact the opposite sex, but there is no interest, no energy.
Parents have become accustomed to the envious eyes of others, and when they are students, they have always been excellent students of teachers, parents, and neighbors. Earn enough face for parents, and parents are proud of their children's achievements.
Admission to a good university is a model for colleagues and friends to educate children, always hear others say, parents teach their children well, parents have high quality, parents have won a lot of praise.
How the child is nearly 30 years old, but let the parents have no face.
Isn't this a great rebellion, or is it not filial piety?
Seeing other people's children become parents and have children, parents feel that we have been envied by others for decades, and how can we now envy others.
Since then, the telephone has urged marriage, marriage, and birth over and over again; the child does not dare to go home, that is, every New Year's Holiday, that is, a few hurried words on the phone, only afraid of talking too much, and will pull unpleasant topics.
Sometimes a few blind dates will be arranged a day, as if to make up a few days of time, to complete the things of the second half of life for decades, as if as long as the marriage is on the line, whether it will be happy in the future, it is his future affair.
Parents hope that the child can honor the ancestors, they can raise their eyebrows, look at the child soaring, stand out, the child has done his best, step by step to complete, but still can not make the parents satisfied.
The child is penniless and is still comforting his parents: if you need money, you will be transferred, and I will be told what is going on at home. To reassure parents, children send them photos of other people's meals. Where do parents know the child's bitterness, the child's tiredness, and the child's helplessness.
They know that their children are in big cities, have high incomes, live in high-rise buildings, enjoy a comfortable life of red lights and green wine, and eat the delicacies they have imagined all their lives. In real life, children are full of eyes and want to cry without tears.
Many children are employed in cities where they go to school, and although they are in big cities, they cannot open their mouths to ask their parents for money to buy a house because of the family's difficulties.
In order to save money, living in a rental house in a village in the city, every day at dawn, I have to catch the subway, bus, hang around for an hour or two to work, breakfast is mostly on the road to wolf, life is tight and difficult.
While dealing with heavy work and a difficult life, while carefully communicating with parents, but also dealing with the change of human feelings.
The hardships of reality and the hopes of the elders will always collide with various contradictions.
Because children always report good news and do not report worries, parents do not understand the current situation and hearts of their children, parents in addition to complaining that their children have not brought them glory, but they do not know anything about their children, resulting in children can not, can not, do not want to face the father.
The pressure of the child and the entanglement in his heart are not understandable to the previous generation, and his heart is full of tears, and he sees that their parents still have to show: I am very good.
Parents have such a request, one is: because they are only children, a good child is a good family. The second is that the two generations have different growth environments and different thinking, and they have long been subtly transformed by the times in the children's going out to study, and their values and outlook on life are very different.
It turned out that I had been living in the small place where I worked, what was happening in the outside world, the changes in the child's thinking, I could not accurately capture it in time.
I have lived with them for the past two years, and I know that it is not easy for young people today. When I chatted with friends and colleagues, I said: Our generation is very lucky, there is a state distribution after school, the unit is good, the income is high, and there is no need to worry about not having a job in a lifetime. Looking at today's children, social development is changing with each passing day, new knowledge is updated quickly, in addition to work, but also to continue to learn, mental pressure, every day early out and late home, desperately working hard.
I would like to say that as fathers, we know very little about our children, especially if we do not see our children for many years, for the sake of our own face, we should not interfere too much in their lives. There is a saying that children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, do you really understand the inner world of children? Don't use your ideas to impose on children, kidnap them, get married, want to have children, pass on the generations, want to honor the ancestors, want parents to have face, etc., think about what the children have asked us when they ask for children?
They are all adults, they have their own thoughts and pursuits, so don't kidnap them. I believe they know how to live and work better than our generation.