Helping children develop the habit of self-discipline is the wealth that parents give their children a lifetime.
- Mother Deer
◆◆ ◆
Author | Mother potatoes
Source | Daughter pie original
Recently, I was fanned by an 8-year-old boy.
He is a primary school student who insists on getting up at 6:30 every day to wash up and then read in the morning, and has been insisting on it for 400 days.
At the beginning, the child could not stick to it, but his mother reminded him and supervised him every day, and he slowly developed a habit.
In the past, children also liked to watch TV, and mothers would take books to read and set an example for their children.
Later, under the influence of the family atmosphere, the child slowly fell in love with reading, and the TV at home was not turned on after the first grade.
Every day when they came back at noon, the children would huddle down on the couch and read by themselves, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing.
He would also chase after his mother with a book and say, "This book is particularly beautiful, mom, you can also read it." ”
Psychologist Sedderz says:
"People are like ceramics, and when they are young, they will form the prototype of a lifetime."
Every child is born to covet pleasure and pursue comfort, especially in the learning process, children are accustomed to fearing difficulties and always want to give up, but parents must not let it go.
Self-disciplined children are not born, but in the nurturing of their parents.
Parents are not pushing behind
Children will never learn on their own initiative
There was once a father who secretly filmed the whole process of his child's homework.
One will push the door, one will dotted the wall, wandering, dazed, going to the toilet, all kinds of small actions, that is, do not write homework.
Exactly 9 minutes of time, the child's real time spent on homework, but only more than 2 minutes.
Many parents have sighed: "It's like seeing their own children." ”
Yes, what this child has exposed is actually the common disease of countless children.
They have poor self-discipline, low ability to learn independently, and once they lack the supervision and discipline of their parents, it is easy to not control themselves.
Weibo once had a poll on "how primary and secondary school students spend the holidays", and the results showed that 80% of children chose to fill their lives with sleep, eat, and play games.
Laziness is human nature, and children are no exception.
Studies have proved that before the age of 6, the prefrontal cortex of the brain is immature, the motivation for learning is not clear, and the self-control is also very weak.
There is such a sentence in the "Tsinghua Xueba Teaching Son's Classic":
"Parents should understand that when children are young, they lack self-control, and they do not take the initiative to learn and other difficult things, and the initiative is not the norm."
So it's normal for him to be too lazy to read, to procrastinate and not to want to write homework.
If at this time, parents, as the "first responsible person" of the child, choose to leave it alone, the child will only become more and more unscrupulous and indulge himself.
Parents do not push their children behind, and children will never learn to take the initiative to learn on their own.
There is a mother who has always believed that her child has the consciousness of taking responsibility for herself.
So what time does her daughter get up, what time she goes to bed, what time she reads, she never cares.
For her daughter's academic performance, she is also not demanding, but asking, she believes that the child's interest is more important.
As a result, in less than three years, her daughter's grades plummeted and she was at the bottom of the class.
During the time she indulged her children, her daughter was also fascinated by playing games, being late for school, wandering in class, and spending most of her day playing games.
Even, the daughter quietly charged thousands of dollars to the game behind her back.
There are no children who are born self-conscious, and every child has more or less inertia in them.
Some education experts have said:
"Children will be willful, but adults cannot abdicate their responsibility for supervision."
The reason why a child is a child is that he lacks self-awareness.
They always feel that it is not as comfortable to sleep in class, and it is not as easy to do problems as brushing mobile phones.
Therefore, parents are more needed to formulate rules and supervise at all times to help children get rid of the willfulness and looseness in their nature.
Every self-disciplined child
It's all "tube" out
How disciplined can a second-grader be?
She insisted on getting up at half past six and starting her morning reading;
No need for parents to stare, take the initiative to write the homework first when you go home;
Insist on practicing words, exercising, reading every day.....
She had been holding on to these habits for years, and she couldn't move.
But her good habits are not there at the beginning, and behind this is actually the parents who tirelessly discipline, restrain and supervise.
Her mother set a series of house rules for her from an early age, requiring her children to strictly follow them;
She will also make a learning plan for her and accompany her children to complete it every day.
Slowly, girls developed a habit of self-discipline.
Every child who takes the initiative to learn and consciously self-disciplines is actually "managed" by his parents.
As Yang Chenyu's mother, who won the college entrance examination, said:
"Be sure to help your child develop habits when he doesn't have the ability to think on his own;
The process of supervision is painful because you have to keep an eye on him all the time;
But after the stereotype, the child's future path will be very good. ”
The starting point of a child's self-discipline must depend on the "other law" of the parents.
Yi Qianxi's mother, when he was 2 years old, enrolled him in more than a dozen interest classes, and took him to class without hindrance;
That's why now, this teenager with good singing and dancing, superb acting skills, and extreme self-discipline.
Dong Qing's father, from a young age, asked her to copy idioms and memorize ancient poems every day, and let her get up and run before dawn;
So to this day, she still insists on reading for an hour a day, and there are no electronics in the bedroom, only books.
Their parents and education methods are very strict, but behind this fierce heart and desperation is actually the greatest vision of parents:
Let children turn self-discipline into a way of life.
Who will know that if they refuse to suffer and study now, how many others will have to suffer in the future and the suffering of life.
There is a saying in the Reading Notes that goes like this:
"All babies are born equally, no one can speak, count, read or write, but these children are not equal when they enter kindergarten.
The reason for the difference is whether their parents tried their best to nurture them or just watched them grow up. ”
Behind a self-disciplined and self-conscious child, there must be a strict disciplined parent.
Giving the child too much freedom is the greatest irresponsibility to the child.
Because a child who is not disciplined will only run slower and slower on the track of life, and finally be left far behind.
The habit of self-discipline in children
The earlier you cultivate, the better
Liu Xuan has caused controversy over "iron blood education".
Her schedule for her son, except for sleeping, was full of other times, and the cartoons were only shown to the children for 15 minutes a day.
Many netizens accused her of being too harsh on her children, after all, her son was only 4 years old.
But Liu Xuan believes that this is to establish rules and self-discipline for children, and children can only be conscious when they are well controlled when they are young and grow up.
In Calvert's Education, it is said:
"A good habit is easy to form when children are young, but it is difficult to develop when they grow up.
On the contrary, if children have many bad habits when they are young, it is difficult to change them when they grow up. ”
Therefore, the habit of self-discipline in children, the sooner they are cultivated, the better.
The habit of active learning
If you want your child to develop the habit of active learning, the key is not to urge the parents, but to make rules in advance.
Guo Jingjing is a very strict "tiger mother", she pays special attention to the cultivation of children's habits.
The rules she set for her children, there was no room for bargaining. Even if Grandpa Huo Zhenting came to see the child, she also required the child to finish his homework before he could play.
She said:
"I hope that children can develop good habits and cannot do whatever they want, which is not good for the growth of children."
When the child is young, parents should formulate corresponding rules and accompany the child to strictly implement, such as writing homework to play, checking after homework is completed, reviewing and previewing every day, and so on.
Letting the rules urge children to take the initiative to learn is more effective than parents following behind and nagging and urging.
The habit of managing time
Many children are always used to procrastination:
The homework to be turned in on Mondays is always delayed until Sunday night;
Mom and Dad didn't rush to get up, and they thought it didn't matter if they were a few minutes late.
Children don't know from the beginning when to learn, when to play, and what to miss when they're late.
Therefore, parents must cultivate their children's self-management ability early.
Tang Ming-yang, gold medalist of the 60th International Mathematical Competition, once shared his holiday schedule.
He arranged his study, reading, and exercise time in an orderly manner, and set himself several small goals every week, such as reading a few extracurricular books.
The reason why he can have such a strong time management ability is inseparable from his mother's education.
When he was very young, his mother taught him to make a daily schedule.
When making plans, mom will also fully respect his ideas and only give some advice.
Mom supervises him every day, and every time he completes a plan, she will give him corresponding points rewards.
He feels that he has a great sense of accomplishment every day, and he has unconsciously developed a good concept of time and developed the habit of managing time.
Stick to the habit of reading
Bai Yansong once said that he liked to read books when he was a child, and he would read books for adults and children.
He also used his mother's two reading cards to borrow books everywhere, so he slowly developed the habit of reading, which accompanied him to this day.
It was reading that made him who he is today.
Under the influence of Bai Yansong, his son also became a small book fan, and the room was full of various books.
Teacher Yin Jianli said that to cultivate reading habits, parents should work together with their children.
There is a father in Hunan who built a special family library in order to make his son fall in love with reading.
When my son was 2 years old, the collection had reached 20,000 books. Now, ten years later, my son has become his most loyal reader.
Only by reading with children and creating a good reading atmosphere for children can we cultivate children who love reading.
Sergey Mikhalkov said:
"No matter how interesting a child's home and school may be, if you do not read some beautiful, interesting and precious books, it is like being robbed of the most precious wealth of childhood, and the loss will be irreparable."
Knowledge affects vision, vision determines pattern, and pattern affects a child's future life.
Good reading habits can benefit children for a lifetime.
The famous educator Ushinsky said:
"If you develop a good habit, you won't be able to enjoy the interest it brings you for the rest of your life, and if you develop a bad habit, you will pay off endless debts all your life." 」
If the parents do not discipline the child in time when the child is young, let laziness become the norm for the child.
Then when he grows up, he will completely lose competitiveness and fall into mediocrity.
A child's lack of self-discipline is instinctive, and it is the ability of parents to let him be self-disciplined.
Helping children develop good habits and let self-discipline take root in their hearts is the real and far-reaching love of parents for their children.
*This article is original to the Daughter Pie. My family has daughters, and there are women who do everything. A parenting platform that millions of parents follow. The pictures in this article are from Figureworm Creative.
Honey, if our article is helpful to you, "star us"★! That way you won't miss the daily push!